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Clips from Scrubs - My Faith in Humanity (S04E04)

"Who's Clarissa?"
Scrubs
"Oh, then, definitely yes."
Scrubs
"She just got engaged, bad combover and all."
Scrubs
"She beats you to the altar, time to hang up the ovaries."
Scrubs
"Too mean. How am I supposed to meet a guy working in this place?"
Scrubs
"The patient's not even here yet."
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"I know."
Scrubs
"Can I get help? My neighbour fainted."
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"She doesn't like ambulances, so I brought her in myself."
Scrubs
"Let me take this one. You've got a phone call."
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"What?"
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"Her mom's fine. It's just a little running joke we have."
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"Are you trying to make me jealous? You know you're my gal."
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"Who are you?"
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"I'm Dr Dorian. I'm the one that's taken care of you"
Scrubs
"the last 19 times you've been in here."
Scrubs
"She's getting a little forgetful."
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"- Are you a relative? - No. Neighbour."
Scrubs
"That's a lovely memory. You know what else is a lovely memory?"
Scrubs
"That Sunday I spent eight hours helping you join the Wilford Brimley fan club."
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"Cool. So, what are you gonna do there?"
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"You get better now."
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"So, Elliot, the first thing we're gonna need to do is..."
Scrubs
"Is Dr Reid coming back?"
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"Don't worry. You're in good hands with Dr Dorian."
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"- Who's that? - That's me, Betty. Dr Dorian."
Scrubs
"Excuse me?"
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"and... skin mould."
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"- You guys need me to sign anything? - No. You're good."
Scrubs
"Hats off there, Barbie."
Scrubs
"No, Carla, men don't love that."
Scrubs
"baths, photo albums, or when you drive so we can relax."
Scrubs
"The only thing men care about as far as dating is concerned is the chase."
Scrubs
"That's the worst advice I've ever heard."
Scrubs
"Good point."
Scrubs
"You don't happen to have any other gems before you run to couples therapy"
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"Look, Dr Cox, I'm sure that you are fantastic at picking up men. Really."
Scrubs
"Some people just cannot take a good "your mom is dead" joke."
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"Anyway, I worry that sometimes when I'm tense,"
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"Have you really noticed it, "Mr Therapist"?"
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"- Chris, what's going on with you? - Nothing worth talking about."
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"This is your third visit and you've yet to say how you're feeling."
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"I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship."
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"a lot of things bother you."
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"I'm staring at that picture."
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"Is that one of those psychological ink blot tests"
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"where I try and figure out what it is? Because, if so..."
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"...l'm seeing a duck."
Scrubs
"why aren't the antibiotics working?"
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"Damn it, Turner, it just doesn't make sense!"
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"I told Betty her lungs had given out,"
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"and she wasn't gonna leave the hospital."
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"So..."
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"Well, we could put you on a breathing machine,"
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"Or I could just make sure you're as comfortable as possible."
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""As comfortable as possible.""
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"I am very, very comfortable!"
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"Then you're ready to die."
Scrubs
"This woman is alone, she's depressed,"
Scrubs
"Say something smart to regain credibility."
Scrubs
"Vesa-vegal syncopy is mediated by the autonomic nervous system."
Scrubs
"And Betty needs you, pal. Come on. Do it."
Scrubs
"You don't even know where New Zealand is."
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"Are you an idiot?"
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"You want to go clubbing?"
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"Just put her back in her room."
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"She's not a patient. I got her at the mall."
Scrubs
"Better get you back to the food court."
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"OK, this is easy. Just compliment him."
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"Triangle? Pyramid? Circle. Circle head."
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"You're stuck on shapes, and square head's almost here!"
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"Just do what Dr Cox said and ignore him."
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"That girl's kind cute. What's her story?"
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"- That's not couples therapy, Todd. - Then what did I do?"
Scrubs
"J.D., you got a sec?"
Scrubs
"even when I'm upset deep down inside."
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"- You'll get there. - I'm not upset."
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"Really? Oh, OK. I'll see you later. Bye."
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"It's like your fingers are stone."
Scrubs
"Last time. I'll see you later, b..."
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"Hey! Look at yourself."
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"Yeah. You're like The Brown Hulk."
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"Well, pretty good. Pretty good. We talked about her past."
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"Betty even let me in on a few romantic trysts from her younger days."
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"Then when we finally got down to talking for real,"
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"besides his perfectly square head,"
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"was that he faced this whole Betty thing straight on."
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"- I'm cute... - Barbie."
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"- Why so happy? - No reason."
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"- I got surgery. - Fine."
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"He wouldn't be able to do it if it weren't for his secret weapon..."
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"Dr John Dorian."
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"You said your name in a weird summing up way."
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"- No, I didn't, Jake. - Oh, so you're Jake."
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"Once again. Sister dying, brother lawyer, suing you!"
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""Brother lawyer..." That's it."
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"- Is that him? - Yes. Here's Ted,"
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"our brilliant hospital attorney. Sharp as a tack."
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"Mark my words, Jake, we're gonna take every last cent you have!"
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"No, no, Ted. We're on his side."
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"This is a Post-lt."
Scrubs
"I don't get real cards until I win a case."
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"Go take a nap, Ted."
Scrubs
"He spelled "attorney" wrong."
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"I am not from the future, Jake."
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"Yes! It finally worked! What are the odds?"
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"I hate you, J.D."
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"and I was a cutter for a week in high school."
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"No problem, Barbie."
Scrubs
"This is a prescription for "no.""
Scrubs
"To be taken with food every Saturday night while you're eating alone."
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"You don't understand the severity of this."
Scrubs
"I am dangerously close to giving up men altogether."
Scrubs
"On behalf of men everywhere, including the ones in the mud huts,"
Scrubs
"See the problem with trying to appeal to its human side?"
Scrubs
"A shaved chest, tiny t-shirts, and the eyes of a madman."
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"I'm sorry. The correct answer she was looking for is a giant ego."
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"I have a giant ego."
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"Would you just appeal to it so I can get something to eat?"
Scrubs
"I didn't. Your friend Turkleton did."
Scrubs
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