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Clips from Family Guy - Joe's Revenge (S11E11)

"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
"Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker."
Family Guy
"This just in: Wanted fugitive, Bobby "The Shirt" Briggs,"
Family Guy
"notorious for always wearing shirts while committing"
Family Guy
"after 15 years on the lam."
Family Guy
"A police spokesperson was quoted as saying,"
Family Guy
""Duh, I'm a dumb cop."
Family Guy
"I like to give Tom Tucker a ticket.""
Family Guy
"I was going, like, 41."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, I don't believe it."
Family Guy
"They finally got that son of a bitch, Briggs."
Family Guy
"You're damn right, I do."
Family Guy
"(crying): They got him."
Family Guy
"Geez, Joe, you okay?"
Family Guy
"(crying)"
Family Guy
"Here, use my handkerchief."
Family Guy
"It's wet and cold."
Family Guy
"Well, yeah, it's my handkerchief."
Family Guy
"I've been blowing my nose in it all day."
Family Guy
"during a fight with the Grinch."
Family Guy
"(sighs) I lied."
Family Guy
"What happened?"
Family Guy
"Well, it was 1996."
Family Guy
"east of Providence, which is mostly just open water,"
Family Guy
"but still, I'd been undercover, tracking his operation"
Family Guy
"for six months and had finally gained his confidence."
Family Guy
"to put Briggsaway for good,"
Family Guy
"Bobby Briggs, you're really good at heroin."
Family Guy
"Why are you talking like that?"
Family Guy
"My undercover name was Swansonson."
Family Guy
"Then get ready to spend the rest of your life"
Family Guy
"and I've been in this wheelchair ever since."
Family Guy
"I like that you can tell me a story"
Family Guy
"Yeah, people are starving in Africa,"
Family Guy
"and I'm at a carnival"
Family Guy
"So, Joe, it must feel great to finally"
Family Guy
"Yeah."
Family Guy
"You know last night was the first time in 15 years"
Family Guy
"I didn't strangle Bonnie in my sleep?"
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad, you're gonna want to see this."
Family Guy
"Again recapping our breaking news,"
Family Guy
"longtime fugitive Bobby Briggs has escaped from police custody."
Family Guy
"His whereabouts are currently unknown."
Family Guy
"News of Briggs's escape first broke on Telemundo,"
Family Guy
"if you can believe that."
Family Guy
"Escapo! Escapo! Escapo!"
Family Guy
"Briggs reportedly escaped during a prison open house,"
Family Guy
"an event that will most likely be canceled in the future."
Family Guy
"No, no! I can't believe it."
Family Guy
"Oh, don't worry, Joe, they'll get him back."
Family Guy
"No, they won't!"
Family Guy
"It took 15 years to catch him."
Family Guy
"I should be getting back anyway."
Family Guy
"Well, you know where everything is."
Family Guy
"Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge."
Family Guy
"And Mr. Con Man here can have pudding or ice cream, not both."
Family Guy
"Sure, Chief. Thank you. Huge."
Family Guy
"What is it?"
Family Guy
"Well, Chief, I'm here because I want you"
Family Guy
"Absolutely not."
Family Guy
"I'm the only one who can catch him."
Family Guy
"Hi, Chief. Hi."
Family Guy
"all over Dunkin' Donuts."
Family Guy
"about this Briggs thing, and that kind of bums me out,"
Family Guy
"so I got you this Cookie Puss."
Family Guy
"Look at that weird nose."
Family Guy
"I think your nose is weird."
Family Guy
"I just don't think I could live with Briggs"
Family Guy
"on the lam for another 15 years."
Family Guy
"I can't do anything about it. The chief won't let me."
Family Guy
"You got to go after this guy."
Family Guy
"But that's a breach of police protocol."
Family Guy
"MAYOR WEST: Well, if you're gonna do it,"
Family Guy
"you're gonna need someone who's very good at disguise."
Family Guy
"I'd love to go with you, but I can't."
Family Guy
"I'm supposed to be the gift table"
Family Guy
"at a Bar Mitzvah tomorrow."
Family Guy
"All right, if we're gonna go after Briggs,"
Family Guy
"I've spent the last 15 years"
Family Guy
"Every crime he's committed, every associate he's..."
Family Guy
"Oh, look, Briggs was All-County JV swimming."
Family Guy
"a room just so you can keep a weirdo Beautiful Mind room?"
Family Guy
"Isn't that a little bizarre?"
Family Guy
"MAN'S VOICE: Today, I saw a balloon."
Family Guy
"he's maintained over the years is with a stripper named Tanya."
Family Guy
"Tax records show she currently works"
Family Guy
"at a club in Atlantic City."
Family Guy
"Is there touching at the club?"
Family Guy
"I-I-I don't know, Peter. Maybe."
Family Guy
"Okay, this is good, this is good."
Family Guy
"I'll be sure to pack my blamming jeans."
Family Guy
"to take care of Principessa while we're gone, Lois."
Family Guy
"I can trace her lineage to the cats kept by Cleopatra."
Family Guy
"Just tell me what I need to do, Glenn."
Family Guy
"Stroke front to back like you would on yourself."
Family Guy
"Otherwise, you're smashing feces into her genitals."
Family Guy
"so you have to touch her like this."
Family Guy
"I'm going to touch you now."
Family Guy
"See how I'm going?"
Family Guy
"Slowly, slowly."
Family Guy
"Oh, the mysteries you keep inside of you."
Family Guy
"PETER: Quagmire, come on, let's go."
Family Guy
"All right, I guess we're off."
Family Guy
"on Lois's face when I do this."
Family Guy
"Clean that up, you idiot!"
Family Guy
"Love you."
Family Guy
"Boy, it'll be satisfying to finally slap the cuffs"
Family Guy
"on Briggs once and for all."
Family Guy
""Who the hell lives here?" All the time."
Family Guy
"That Chinese restaurant still has the sign"
Family Guy
"from when it was a mechanic."
Family Guy
"I don't want to eat lo mein"
Family Guy
"There's an apartment above that Arby's."
Family Guy
"I'm telling you, the Founding Fathers would be"
Family Guy
"Eh, it wasn't so perfect back then, either."
Family Guy
"And so I say unto you,"
Family Guy
"sons of liberty, no longer will free men"
Family Guy
"live under the yoke of giant predatory birds."
Family Guy
"N-Nothing, uh, just bellyaching about the British."
Family Guy
"All right! All right!"
Family Guy
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