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Clips from South Park - All About Mormons (S07E07)

"I think there's something to that religion."
South Park
"Shut up, dude. They're a nice family,"
South Park
"- You guys, I think Stan's in love. - Yeah. Did you make out with him, too?"
South Park
"- You guys should give Gary a chance. - Hey, Stan."
South Park
"Stan, I remember you said last night that you'd lost your wallet,"
South Park
"so I made you a new one."
South Park
"I carved a picture of John Elway into the leather on the front."
South Park
"Hey! My family's on their way over to the fire station to donate blood!"
South Park
"You wanna come along?"
South Park
"Here comes my family now!"
South Park
"- Hey, guys! - Hey, guys!"
South Park
"Look, we painted our faces!"
South Park
"Hey! Just what the heck am I supposed to be?"
South Park
"You gonna come with us to the fire station, Stan?"
South Park
"Well, Gary, you wanna just hang out with your friend Stan?"
South Park
"Well, I'd like to, but..."
South Park
"Oh, man, I would miss you guys so much!"
South Park
"We'd miss you too, Gary!"
South Park
"Oh, we'll all see each other tonight when we go to Stan's house for dinner."
South Park
"Stay and play with your friends, Gary."
South Park
"Let's go!"
South Park
"Our faces are painted!"
South Park
"So what do you guys wanna do?"
South Park
"Cool! I'm gonna do that tomorrow!"
South Park
"So, hey, I heard your dad came over last night"
South Park
"and he and my dad talked about Joseph Smith. That's great!"
South Park
"Well, he kept them hidden from everyone like he was told,"
South Park
"and then he translated what was written on the plates into the Book of Mormon."
South Park
"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"What's this all about, Mr Smith?"
South Park
"I have in my possession an ancient book written on gold plates"
South Park
"that tells of Jesus Christ's second coming."
South Park
"Here, in America!"
South Park
"In America? Really? That sounds kind of..."
South Park
"It's true. And I'm going to translate the plates"
South Park
"and I'm just gonna need a little bit to pay for the publishing costs."
South Park
"- With these. - Rocks?"
South Park
"They're not rocks. They're seer stones, given to me by an angel."
South Park
"Watch. You take this quill and paper and write down what I say."
South Park
"Sit here. I have the golden plates here in this hat."
South Park
"I need to have them somewhere dark so I can read the spiritual light."
South Park
"which I can then read to you."
South Park
"I'm seeing the light."
South Park
"Okay, write this down."
South Park
""And so it was"
South Park
"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"Dumb, dumb Dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"One, two, three, four. "Pay $1,000 property tax. ""
South Park
"Isn't this great, you guys? Our first Family Home Evening."
South Park
"- I wanna watch TV! - We're not watching TV!"
South Park
"We're Mormons now, and we're having Family Home Evening!"
South Park
"Dad, did you know that that Joseph Smith guy"
South Park
"Yes."
South Park
"But school taught me that the first man and woman lived in Africa."
South Park
"Well, you can't believe everything school tells you, Stan."
South Park
"Your turn, Shelly."
South Park
"That must be the Harrisons!"
South Park
"- Hey, everybody. - Wow, what a great house!"
South Park
"You must be Mrs. Marsh! It's so nice to meet you!"
South Park
"And you must be Stan's sister! I think your brother's the greatest!"
South Park
"My brother is a stupid turd."
South Park
"- Hey, Stan! - Hey, Gary."
South Park
"My son was having a little problem with our new religion."
South Park
"the rich man who wrote down what Joseph Smith read out of the hat?"
South Park
"- Yeah. - See, after he was done,"
South Park
"he took some of the pages"
South Park
"of what would become the Book of Mormon home."
South Park
"Martin went home to his wife Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"and read to me what the golden plates said."
South Park
"Martin, how do you know he isn't just making stuff up"
South Park
"and pretending he's translating off golden plates?"
South Park
"Smart, smart, smart, smart, smart"
South Park
"Why would he make it up?"
South Park
"But if Joseph Smith is making it all up,"
South Park
"then the new translations will be different from these."
South Park
"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"but I'm ready to write it all down again if you translate from the plates."
South Park
"I just had a vision!"
South Park
"for letting you take those pages."
South Park
"So it will be the same basic story, but written a little differently."
South Park
"If God got angry with you, then you must be telling the truth!"
South Park
"And that's how it happened."
South Park
"and they still believe Joseph Smith was a prophet?"
South Park
"- Well, Stan, it's all a matter of faith. - No, it's a matter of logic!"
South Park
"and then couldn't do it again when the translations were hidden!"
South Park
"Hey, that's totally cool, guys. You can believe whatever you want."
South Park
"Yeah! It's great you have your own beliefs."
South Park
"Oh, stop it! That's another thing!"
South Park
"You just weasel people into your way of thinking"
South Park
"by acting like the happiest family in the world"
South Park
"and being so nice to everyone that you just blindside dumb people like my dad!"
South Park
"who's up for a water-balloon fight?"
South Park
"Oh, hey, Stan. Where's your best buddy, Gary?"
South Park
"Oh, no! You guys broke up?"
South Park
"You guys were right, okay? The new kid's a douche."
South Park
"Now I just gotta find a way to keep him away from me."
South Park
"But I have a great life and a great family,"
South Park
"and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that."
South Park
"because what the church teaches now is loving your family,"
South Park
"I still choose to believe in it."
South Park
"All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan,"
South Park
"You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy."
South Park
"Okay, children, let's take our seats."
South Park
"I'm really excited to live in this town"
South Park
"- Yeah, go kick his ass. - Well, maybe he won't fight."
South Park
"- Yeah, little bitch. - All right, I'm gonna go kick his ass."
South Park
"- Hey, it's Gary! - Gary!"
South Park
"...my sister Jenny... - Hey!"
South Park
"If you ever have to face a challenge"
South Park
"Can pass the test"
South Park
"Hey, Joseph! I told my wife that you spoke with God and Jesus,"
South Park
"And that night he saw an angel Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"where we don't watch any TV and we just do stuff together and eat and drink?"
South Park
"You gotta put these cult people in their place or else they never stop."
South Park
"We'll see how you like my fist in your ass!"
South Park
"- Hello! - Yeah, are you Mr Harrison?"
South Park
"We forget not everyone wants to hear about it."
South Park
"Well, no, no, I just..."
South Park
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