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Clips from South Park - All About Mormons (S07E07)

"- What? - What did he say?"
South Park
"and said that I am not allowed to show the plates, or the seer stones,"
South Park
"He found the stones and golden plates Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
South Park
"Not exactly. We're having their family over for dinner tomorrow night."
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"What's the big deal? Can't I have other friends?"
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"- Here's Stan's little girlfriend now. - Hey, guys."
South Park
"Yeah. Have a good time, boys."
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"With them, God allows me to translate the plates into English."
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"Really?"
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"- Dad! - Really?"
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"Martin Harris Dumb, da-dumb"
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"If Joseph Smith really is translating off of golden plates,"
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"So Martin went on back to Smith Said the pages had gone away"
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"I would love to, Martin, except"
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"He said we must now translate from the plate of Nephi."
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"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb Dumb, dumb, dumb"
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"Hey, Stan, don't denounce our religion."
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"Why do you have to be so freaking nice all the time? It isn't normal!"
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"There is an ancient book buried near here, written on gold plates,"
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"Mr Harrison said that Joseph Smith spoke to God and Jesus"
South Park
"and you should see how loving and together their family is."
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"Dude, stop it."
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"Joseph Smith was called a prophet Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
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"that Native Americans were actually white people from Jerusalem?"
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"but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion"
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"Smith got mad and told Martin He needed to go pray"
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"From now on, our family is Mormon!"
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"read the Book of Mormon out of a hat?"
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"like that Adam and Eve lived in Jackson County, Missouri."
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"Will he bleed? That's all we care about."
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"- Hey, Stan. - Oh, brother."
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"Yeah!"
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"You were supposed to kick his ass, not lick his butthole!"
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"- And that's exactly how it happened. - You see? You believe it now?"
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"- Yeah! - All right!"
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"Okay, fine! I bet he'll have no problem!"
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"about some of the things you told my son."
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"Joseph Smith was called a prophet"
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"Ura Fag."
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"All right, I got five bucks on the other kid. Who wants in?"
South Park
"You know, he claims he spoke with God and Jesus."
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"and please keep our bellies full of yum-yums and luscious goodies."
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"all Native Americans were white."
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"Also buried with the book are two seer stones, the Urim and Thummim,"
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"I was supposed to be home at 8:00."
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"Yeah! I'm gonna kick his ass!"
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"- Karen! Mr Marsh is here! - Look, I just want to tell you that..."
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"The guy who spoke to God and Jesus."
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"right where the angel Moroni said they would be."
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"Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb"
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"Sure."
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"bitch."
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"Oh, I get it. I'm the new kid. Yeah, I guess maybe I deserve it."
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"- What's that? - Well, you remember Martin Harris,"
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"It's just that the Book of Mormon says a lot of strange stuff,"
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"and publish it into a book for the whole world to read."
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"and that Native Americans came from Jerusalem,"
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"who read plates nobody ever saw, out of a hat,"
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"Damn, that kid is cool, huh?"
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"He is?"
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"you don't have to worry about me trying to be your friend any more."
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"that he will never let me translate from the plate of Lehi again."
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"in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense,"
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"And even though people in this town might think that's stupid,"
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"Well, kids,"
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"Hey, everybody! This is my new friend, Stan."
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"and she didn't believe it."
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"because none of the others had it right."
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"The new people that moved in down the street."
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"Well, look, my kid was just over at your house, and he..."
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"Under that, I found four gold plates written in strange writing."
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"This must be the gospel that Jesus told the Nephites!"
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"found a new testament to the Bible, buried here in America?"
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"I don't think so, Gary. I have to..."
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"No. I've got a lot to do."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"the ancient letters light up and change to English,"
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"Well, come on in and sit down, everybody. You're here just in time."
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"All right, Martin. Let's get to work."
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"and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up."
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"Yeah! Go, Stan! Go, Stan!"
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"I sure am. The name's Gary."
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"Now, when I put the seer stones into the hat,"
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"Lucy Harris smart, smart, smart Martin Harris dumb"
South Park