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Clips from The Office - Crime Aid (S05E05)

"Federal and state. Federal and state."
The Office
"I would appreciate it if people would stop storming off the stage."
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"(PLAYING BLUES MUSIC ON GUITAR)"
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"(WATCH ALARM BEEPING)"
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"MAN: (SINGING) Me and the blues"
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"Just me and the blues"
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"Well, well, have we been blessed today?"
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"(WHOOPS)"
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"Hey! Thank you, Michael."
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"I'd like to auction off a weekend at my place in Martha's Vineyard."
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"Hey, hey! $100."
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"$100. Great! $125."
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"MICHAEL: $125. $140. $140."
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"Oh, dear. MICHAEL: Who else? Who else?"
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"$160."
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"I had to get your attention. This is an emergency."
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"What, that's it? That's your advice?"
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"Well, I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us."
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"You're just being selfish."
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"What did Phyllis do wrong? I'll tell you what Phyllis did wrong."
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"She stuck her nose into my business and tried to help me."
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"Yeah, she's doing really well."
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"to me."
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"Yeah, I'd say she's happy."
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"and last night she was out with her friends till, like, 8 a.m."
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"Wow. What?"
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"I thought you were her friend."
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"Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!"
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"All right! All right, all right, all right! Here we go, here we go."
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"All right, big-ticket item."
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"All right! In my pocket,"
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"I have two tickets"
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"to Mr. Bruce Springsteen. Front..."
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"Has anyone seen an envelope"
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"with Bruce Springsteen front row tickets and backstage passes?"
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"Do you want us to look for them? No. I think they were stolen."
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"(MO ANS) That was the last good item. So..."
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"Good job, everybody. I have my hug."
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"I'll bid on a hug. She's your wife, you idiot."
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"What are you doing?"
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"I need a hug, unless you're going to give me one."
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"$300 going twice. $300 and one penny!"
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"$300 and one penny! $300 and one penny!"
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"$350! $350."
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"$350 and one penny! $350 and one penny!"
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"BOB VANCE: $400. $400. Hey, batter, batter."
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"Five... $500 and one penny!"
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"$700! $700."
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"(MUTTERING)"
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"$1,000!"
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"(GAVEL SQUEAKS) Sold for $1,000!"
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"Nicely done."
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"(SIGHING)"
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"(EXHALES)"
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"No. You know what? No, because I'm not that guy,"
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"(CHUCKLES) and we are not that couple."
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"(WHISPERING) Hey, that looks good."
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"Listen, about the tickets."
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"But a lot of Michael seems too good to be true."
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"So far it's all true."
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"That was really fun last night. Yeah, it was nice."
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"I will probably find out tonight."
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"That's for you, and..."
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"K-Money."
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"It's nice to learn new things."
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"(EXHALES)"
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"HOLLY: I didn't forget my keys,"
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"I'm a very good screamer. And one day, we're going to move"
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"Get in."
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"Was this the sorority that you didn't get into a real sorority"
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"Twice."
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"and standing strong in the form of song,"
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"and, my personal favorite, Short People."
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"(MUSIC STOPS) Okay, this is the moment that you've all been waiting for."
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"Hey, batter, batter, batter. Hey, batter, swing, batter! $300,"
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"(GAVEL SQUEAKS) Sold! For $300 to me!"
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"I'm going to start the bidding"
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"Listen! She ignored my ultimatum. Now what?"
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"I thought you had some kind of big master plan."
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"Oh."
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"You're trying to secure your place as head of the Party Planning Committee."
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"When are you getting to Bruce? Just a few more items."
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"Anybody seen something, like, lying around?"
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"I think they were stolen and they're gone forever, so..."
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"What the hell is happening? $250."
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"Not here. $300."
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"$300! We have $300. $300 going once."
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"$325. $325."
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"HOLLY: The Springsteen tickets seemed too good to be true."
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"Conference room, 15 minutes. Half an hour. All right?"
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"Okay, fine, I've moved on."
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"BOB VANCE: $500! $500! $500."
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"$700 and one penny!"
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"(PHONE RINGING)"
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"It's all good. All right. So, good."
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"to Disney's Celebration Village in Florida and leave all this behind."
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"He's the tax man! Kevin the Tax Man."
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"Yeah? She's in New York."
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"(CHUCKLES) What?"
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"It just says Creed. Yeah, that's all inclusive."
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"Yeah, what you going to do?"
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"ROY: Hey, what's up, guys?"
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"(SIGHING) What are you making? A knife."
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"You want to talk about it?"
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"I just don't get it. What don't you get?"
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"I forgot my keys."
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"To recoup their losses, I am planning a little charity auction,"
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"You either break off your engagement with that singing buffoon,"
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"(PEOPLE CLAPPING)"
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"You have until 6:14 p.m."
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"Dwight, I don't think you do. I think you've got your answer."
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"I'm going to make everything all right. All right?"
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"It is not known how many office robberies occur every second,"
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"Great."
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"No. I did not know that Michael was dating Holly."
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"sixteen to 18 hours a week."
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"Receptionist-Money."
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"Okay."
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"Motives. Financial, or possibly vintage HP computer collectors."
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"Hank down at Security had clocked out, and that's all we have."
The Office
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