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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Finds Her Mom! (S02E02)

"Who cares?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lillian, the Carnivore Cruise Lines flagship ship Ocean Skank"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And you're gonna find your real mom,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And what difference will that make?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you even listening to what I'm saying to you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I rented a car for the first time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And tomorrow I'm gonna ambush my mom at the Rip Ride Rockit,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No. You have to get to Miami."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Drivinghighway! - Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lori-Ann Schmidt is not a lady who says, I'm sorry."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Bob."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I mean, not boyfriend, I guess."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, I'm not a character here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I love you so much."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, I'm so sorry, baby."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, my God, you're alive!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lori-Ann! Lori-Ann! Lori-Ann! Lori-Ann!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ They alive, damn it ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ It's a miracle ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Unbreakable ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Got decapitated in '96"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look, Mom."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He was smart and cool, like Jimmy Smits."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Foot Rub,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This one says you'll take me to see Patch Adams."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm like a box of puppies"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All fun. Period."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But, Lori-Ann, you'll have to wait for hours."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah, you don't have to do that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hurry up! Hurry!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- You coming or not? - I don't know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And what if my choreography requires standing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titusville?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, Black Jesus, that's a little on the nose,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So, you ready to face your fears and eat this worm?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- She knows all the colors now. - Mm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I-I had a pumpkin pie, but I sat on it on the subway,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why are you staring at the walls?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This one's a keeper, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"His name is Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, Russ had to be named by his daddy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Him and you have a kid,"
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"He should be so lucky."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Huh?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"See, my name is Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What is there to do here?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus-friendly attractions, I assume?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Interactive couch museum,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"his capsule crash-landing on a desert island,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Well, our founder, Colonel Henry Titus,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"would have been a Civil War hero if the right side had won."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Good luck."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I did it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Just like O.J. Simpson..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"She apologized right away."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- She even cried. - Wait."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You're afraid of failure."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"not this sinkhole that keeps..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lori-Ann Schmidt is playing you 'cause she doesn't want to deal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"she'll just change the subject"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Are you kidding? I hate those women."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"as the Cowboys prepare to take on the, uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"we kind of own the team."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How is that not the first thing you say to women?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But don't you think the name is a little,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And the name is honoring those Native guys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Jacqueline, look,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ Heil to the Redskins ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Rip Ride Rockit's in ten minutes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, we got to go."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"If we miss this, I don't get another chance to break my record."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Titus was right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"to keep this neighborhood weird and dangerous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"My name is Winfred O'Prah. I work for ISUS."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Also, we had the name first."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I hadn't thought of that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mayor Kaushtupper Still At Large,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I love Titusville."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But no Titus on it. I'm deathly allergi-Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hi, Titus, I'm your astronaut, Captain Mooney."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tell me a story about space."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's just..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Forget the moon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"So space is like American Apparel?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now we reach for the..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You spend your whole life training to do something,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"What a waste."
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"I'm not gonna end up like NASA:"
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"scared, afraid,"
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"standing for Never Accomplishing Space Anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"How is that still a thing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"but nobody cared."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"it's just too much."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"than be with a man who sings that song."
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"No, Russ. Your family owns the Redskins."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"They told me I was adopted."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"When I was 18,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I found out they were my real parents all along."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And that name?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"For years, I've been trying to get them to change it"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mystique."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with my own girlfriend... hand."
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"Hand."
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"Not just for a while. Until."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I bet you were glad I was gone,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"'cause you never wanted me in the first place."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You were selfish, and you just wanted to party like it was 1999,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I am so mad at you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I'm entitled to that emotion."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I sat in the shower all night with you"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- I don't actually like this! - Whoo-hoo!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with the price of meat in Muncie?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"According to recent CDC numbers,"
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"We're going again!"
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"Of course I did!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Whew."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Yeah!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You did your best?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I got kidnapped because of you!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"All right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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