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Clips from 30 Rock - Pilot (S01E01)

"and what I've gleaned..."
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"the blond, big-eyed girl is popular"
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"Jenna. That's my friend Jenna."
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"but you're missing men between 18 and 49."
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"I'm not missing them. They're just not there."
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"I think I can fix that."
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"So, your job is you take things that are already working,"
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"and you fix them."
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"That's a great job."
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"Why don't we, uh..."
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"You're missing that third kind of heat."
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"I want you to think about Tracy Jordan."
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"Okay, the black guy?"
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"I flew with him on a private jet to the Super Bowl recently,"
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"and I found him very entertaining."
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"Isn't he, um... crazy?"
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"Tracy's had his problems in the last few years."
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"I am a Jedi!"
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"I am a Jedi!"
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"I am a Jedi!"
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"The important thing to remember is"
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"he was never charged with a crime."
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"It's not illegal to fall asleep on your neighbor's roof."
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"Nor should it be."
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"Tracy Jordan is the third heat."
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"I don't know where we're gonna find room in the budget"
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"for a guy like Tracy Jordan."
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"I think I do."
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"What are you doing?"
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"Sometimes, when I have these stress dreams,"
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"if I go to sleep in the dream, I come out of it."
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""This is not a dream.""
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"Tracy Jordan is in New York today, Liz."
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"I'd like you to have lunch with him."
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"We have a show tonight, Mr. Donaghy."
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"I don't know if your research covered this,"
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"but we do a dress rehearsal and then a live show."
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"That's tonight. This is lunch."
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"If it's not a good fit, I'll drop the whole thing."
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"I'm known for being reasonable."
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"Alfredo, 2:00 P. M."
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"I'm not dressed for that."
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"You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?"
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"Pete, hang back for me."
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"Yeah, you bet."
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"Hey."
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"What happened to your head?"
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"The sky is falling."
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"or something I could borrow?"
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"Thank you, Lee."
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"Whatever."
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"Hey, you know in that cat-lady sketch,"
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"do I have to hold a real cat?"
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"Cat-lady sketch? That thing's gonna get cut."
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"Who's that?"
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"That is the new network dude."
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"Mmm, yummers."
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"Laura Bush is your size."
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"Excuse me. Hi. What are you doing down here?"
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"Clearly."
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"That's how you should dress for work, by the way."
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"Yeah, if I was president of the Philippines."
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"Now, Afghanistan is a different situation."
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"I'll have an apple juice."
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"We don't have apple juice, sir."
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"Hi, I'm Liz Lemon."
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"I know who you are."
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"I do recommend the pumpkin ravioli."
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"They're very subtle."
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"So, Tracy, this Jack Donaghy guy wanted me to talk to you"
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"about joining the cast of our show,"
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"and I don't know how you feel about that..."
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"Let me ask you a question, everybody at this table."
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"Did he just say the word "pumpkin" to me?"
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"Yes, um, pumpkin ravioli."
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"Yo!"
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"I'm buggin'. I can't do this. I cannot eat here."
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"I can't eat here."
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"Lemon, let's go."
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"I will not work with Tracy Jordan."
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"It's just a rumor."
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"Have you seen any of his movies?"
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"The guy's sensibility is just cretinous."
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"like, five different characters."
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"No."
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"No, he... he had to pretend to be this old lady."
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"Ooh, ooh, goodness gracious!"
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"You hooligans better watch out!"
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"'Cause this honky grandma be trippin'!"
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"I saw it, like, five times."
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"Right on. Hey, let me get two half a chickens"
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"and some pecan waffles."
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"Nothing for me."
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"I had, like, four hot dogs this morning."
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"Eat, Lemon, eat."
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"I hate skinny women."
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"Hey, Lana, 10 beers."
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"So, Tracy, we should talk about the show."
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"I ain't doing it unless I can get to do it my way."
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"And I don't think that it's a good fit."
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"'Cause I'm gonna drop truth bombs."
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"You know how pissed off I was"
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"when U S Weekly said that I was on crack?"
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"That's racist. I'm not on crack."
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"Sure."
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"I got mental-health issues."
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"She went out."
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"I'm in charge."
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"Oh. Okay."
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"Um, well, I'm not sure about this costume."
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"Well, wherever you're putting it, I think it's working."
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"You know, I don't think you'd like it,"
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"and it's live TV, which is risky."
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"We know how to be acceptable."
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"'Cause the white dudes want to see us fail."
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"What white dudes?"
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"All of 'em."
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"Jack Donaghy, General Electric, George Bush, Karl Robe."
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"Karl Robe, you say?"
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"while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets."
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