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Clips from 30 Rock - Pilot (S01E01)

"Going again, please. Thank you."
30 Rock
"And this is the set of "The Girlie Show.""
30 Rock
"It's a real fun ladies' comedy show for ladies."
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"Hey, everybody, look."
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"Here's someone you never get a chance to meet."
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"It's the head writer of "The Girlie Show," Liz Lemon."
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"Hold on, I'll connect you."
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"Hey. What's up?"
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"It's still seven minutes long."
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"Yikes, okay."
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"Oh, and Standards has a problem"
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"with that Michael Jackson bit."
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"Why?"
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"Apparently, you can't say he's got a vagina."
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"Hey, you've got to tell that NBC page"
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"to take it down a notch."
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"He just embarrassed me in front of a whole tour group."
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"I'll talk to him. What is this?"
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"Well, you know how I hate it when people cheat"
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"or break rules?"
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"Yes, I do."
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"Well, I just spent 150 bucks on wieners."
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"Attaboy."
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"Chumley, the beverage situation around here"
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"is reprehensible."
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"Oh, good morning, sunshine."
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"Surely, our massive conglomerate"
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"Yeah, or, like, a big coffee dispenser."
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"That's what a samovar is."
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"Uh, Cerie, do you want to go get some coffee?"
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"No, thank you."
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"Hey, Josh, I need to change your Michael Jackson thing."
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"Didn't you tell me you had a Jay Leno impression?"
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"Yeah, yeah, yeah, check it out."
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"is in the news again."
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"The host of "The Tonight Show.""
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"That's what I was doing."
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"like to go shopping for old cars, you know?"
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"No, no, like Jay Leno."
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"Like, "Hey, here are the headlines.""
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"Have you ever noticed"
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"when you eat a lot of cheese..."
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"How is that different from what I was doing?"
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"And I don't think you need to introduce the writers"
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"to the tour group."
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"I agree."
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"I thought they would find it interesting,"
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"but they really did not."
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"I just..."
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"I just love television so much."
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"We all do."
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"Liz, they want you and Pete on the 50th floor."
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"Who, Gary? All right, tell him I'll be up in half an hour."
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"No, they said now."
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"If they've got cookies up there, grab some."
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"Ooh, and get them to pay for my samovar."
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"Of course. I assume that's what we're meeting about."
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"Hey, aah, ho, Debra."
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"My brother's tall!"
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"Right?"
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"Are we in trouble or something?"
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"No way. Gary loves the show."
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"Right, of course. They love us."
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"Gary's dead."
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"I'm Jack Donaghy,"
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"new VP of Development for NBC-GE-Universal-Kmart."
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"So, why are you dressed like we do?"
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"I'm surprised you're renovating. This is such a nice office."
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"It's a great office, but sometimes, you have to"
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"change things that are perfectly good"
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"just to make them your own."
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"Please."
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"Uh, I'll call her back."
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"Is she at the White House line? Great."
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"Tell them I need a 4:00 A. M. tee-off time."
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"Are you familiar with the GE trivection oven?"
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"I don't cook very much."
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"Sure. I got you."
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"New York third-wave feminist, college-educated,"
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"You buy any magazine"
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"And every two years, you take up knitting for..."
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"That is dead-on!"
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"What, are you gonna guess my weight now?"
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"You don't want me to do that."
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"Market research, my friend."
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"Years and years of market research"
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"which led to my greatest triumph... the trivection oven."
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"Can we get Pete an oven, please?"
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"The GE trivection oven"
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"cooks perfect food five times faster"
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"than a conventional oven"
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"because it uses three kinds of heat..."
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"thermal technology for consistent temperature,"
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"GE precise air-convection technology"
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"for optimal air circulation,"
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"and microwave technology for incredible speed."
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"With three kinds of heat, you can cook a turkey..."
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"in 22 minutes."
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"Wow. That is impressive."
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"The people upstairs think so. That's why they promoted me."
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"I like you."
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"You have the boldness of a much-younger woman."
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"Lee, does my face look bloated to you?"
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"to take the puffiness out."
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"Hemorrhoid cream."
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"Miss Maroney, I have the cat wrangler here for you."
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"Oh, is it that horrible little... Hi."
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"Hey. Greta Johanssen... short for Lugreta."
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"Hi. Great to see you again."
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"You too."
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"I'm here to introduce you to the feline actors"
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"you're gonna be working with tonight."
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"And this here is Captain Boots."
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"Hello."
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"Would you describe yourself as cat-competent?"
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"Oh, yes. I love cats."
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"I used to have two cats."
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"But then I moved to this place with hardwood floors,"
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"I'm joking."
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"We've done several focus groups on the show,"
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