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Clips from Louie (2010) - A La Carte (S05E05)

"It doesn't have a price tag."
Louie (2010)
"don't need it, don't need it. No, I love those."
Louie (2010)
"No, please don't, please just, let's--"
Louie (2010)
"You get candy, get some candy, I don't care."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, that's enough, please, that's enough."
Louie (2010)
"We-- That's-- Stop there, okay?"
Louie (2010)
"You don't want any of this?"
Louie (2010)
"Just take this shit, this..."
Louie (2010)
"Thank you very much, thank you very much."
Louie (2010)
"Sorry, I love you. Bye. Let's go, let's go. But...I..."
Louie (2010)
"Come on, come on, come on, come on."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, okay. I'm gonna make it,"
Louie (2010)
"Dad! Oh!"
Louie (2010)
"No, no, no... Hurry up, come on, Daddy!"
Louie (2010)
"Okay. Sir..."
Louie (2010)
"can I please use your bathroom?"
Louie (2010)
"I'll buy some-- I'll pay you $20."
Louie (2010)
"Where do you go?"
Louie (2010)
"Sir, please. Please!"
Louie (2010)
"It's poo-poo! No!"
Louie (2010)
"Please, you don't understand."
Louie (2010)
"It's an emergency! No."
Louie (2010)
"You're a little white bitch."
Louie (2010)
"Come on."
Louie (2010)
"Police, police!"
Louie (2010)
"What's the problem? Help my daddy!"
Louie (2010)
"What are you-- what are you doing?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm not gonna make it."
Louie (2010)
"and I'm in a lot of pain."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, yeah. Daddy! No, Daddy!"
Louie (2010)
"Jane, come on."
Louie (2010)
"Jane, let him go! Daddy, no!"
Louie (2010)
"Don't look at me! We have to be strong!"
Louie (2010)
"I love you! Daddy!"
Louie (2010)
"Let him go, let him go."
Louie (2010)
"It's gonna be okay. You have to be strong."
Louie (2010)
"Good job."
Louie (2010)
"I'm supposed to, uh-- Thanks for coming."
Louie (2010)
"Hey, buddy, can you help me out with something?"
Louie (2010)
"It's supposed to start right now. Yeah?"
Louie (2010)
"Ralphie was gonna host it. He's a-- he's a no-show."
Louie (2010)
"No, no, no, no, no."
Louie (2010)
"Come on, come on, it's easy. What's the problem?"
Louie (2010)
"You-- you do ten minutes, you run the lottery,"
Louie (2010)
"you give everybody five minutes each,"
Louie (2010)
"I can't do it."
Louie (2010)
"Where you gotta go? I gotta go somewhere."
Louie (2010)
"All right, I'll-- I'll give you 500 bucks."
Louie (2010)
"400 bucks!"
Louie (2010)
"You just said 500. Yeah, that was before."
Louie (2010)
"Before? It was barely-- It was almost after."
Louie (2010)
"Come on. 500 bucks."
Louie (2010)
"I'll do it, but you give me 500 bucks."
Louie (2010)
"Really, why? You ruined the 500 for me."
Louie (2010)
"Just give me 400, it's okay."
Louie (2010)
"Here. Great, okay."
Louie (2010)
"Don't-- don't put two girls on in a row."
Louie (2010)
"All right."
Louie (2010)
"We're doing a lottery."
Louie (2010)
"That's what we're doing."
Louie (2010)
"and the inside of all of your heads,"
Louie (2010)
"over each other,"
Louie (2010)
"Have a good night. Thanks for coming."
Louie (2010)
"Lisa Swanson."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Dorothy Shammel."
Louie (2010)
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."
Louie (2010)
"Welcome to the Comic Strip."
Louie (2010)
"Tonight is open mic night"
Louie (2010)
"with your host, Louie C.K.!"
Louie (2010)
"Thank you for being here for open mic night, everybody."
Louie (2010)
"Uh, I-- I don't know-- how many of you--"
Louie (2010)
"I'm not even gonna ask."
Louie (2010)
"Doesn't that sound great? Um..."
Louie (2010)
"These are new comedians."
Louie (2010)
"They're doing about five minutes each."
Louie (2010)
"These are people who, uh--"
Louie (2010)
"Some of them have never done it before."
Louie (2010)
"with our first terrified young fellow."
Louie (2010)
"Please welcome Mr. Mike Bocchetti."
Louie (2010)
"Let's hear it for Mike Bocchetti."
Louie (2010)
"Hi, guys. How are you?"
Louie (2010)
"Most of the women I have sex with are all the same."
Louie (2010)
"They're plastic."
Louie (2010)
"Uh, excuse me? Yeah?"
Louie (2010)
"Hi, I'm Bart Folding, I'm up next."
Louie (2010)
"Bart, right."
Louie (2010)
"Could you watch me?"
Louie (2010)
"Please. I don't know."
Louie (2010)
"It would-- it would mean a lot."
Louie (2010)
"I gotta go, guys. You were amazing, thank you."
Louie (2010)
"Oh! Sorry."
Louie (2010)
"Mike Bocchetti!"
Louie (2010)
"Give him a hand."
Louie (2010)
"who I-- I gather he's new at this,"
Louie (2010)
"Give him a hand! Bart Folding!"
Louie (2010)
"I'd-- I'd like to tell you about my childhood..."
Louie (2010)
"for urinating in my bed..."
Louie (2010)
"and then, so, from then on,"
Louie (2010)
"I would urinate it-- in it more."
Louie (2010)
"I don't think my mother... loved me."
Louie (2010)
"Hey. Excuse me."
Louie (2010)
"Can you, uh, give me your critique?"
Louie (2010)
"You said you would."
Louie (2010)
"So..."
Louie (2010)
"I'm not funny?"
Louie (2010)
"Well, it-- it's tough, but..."
Louie (2010)
"No, you're not."
Louie (2010)
"You're not funny. I mean, not--"
Louie (2010)
"not on stage, anyway."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, okay. What do I change?"
Louie (2010)
"Is it-- is it my jokes or--"
Louie (2010)
"Jokes? See, I-- That's the thing, I don't--"
Louie (2010)
"I don't really know that those were really jokes."
Louie (2010)
"Like, when you talked about--"
Louie (2010)
"about wetting the bed on stage,"
Louie (2010)
"Well, in comedy, you're supposed to tell"
Louie (2010)
"You know, just be, like, honest about stuff."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, but..."
Louie (2010)
"You gotta-- But it has to be f--"
Louie (2010)
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