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Clips from Hung (2009) - Comedy (S01E01)

"...as a coach, history teacher and all-around inspiration."
Hung (2009)
"Not only did she make me sound like a turd, she left out the best parts."
Hung (2009)
"We hope you enjoy the beams for many years to come."
Hung (2009)
"You have to give me an answer. Tell me which way you're leaning..."
Hung (2009)
"Did you bring pictures?"
Hung (2009)
"No."
Hung (2009)
"Not gonna happen. I would never employ a freaky guy."
Hung (2009)
"No liars or addicts or drug users."
Hung (2009)
"And as you can see, I'm a woman just like you."
Hung (2009)
"...of some muscled-out, shiny-Iooking, probably gay boy gyrating on me."
Hung (2009)
"...you know, in that way."
Hung (2009)
"Lenore said she'd never had such..."
Hung (2009)
"Don't even send me medium size. I'm not even kidding."
Hung (2009)
"It's not like I do this every day."
Hung (2009)
"- She said I should pay up-front. - Three hundred."
Hung (2009)
"- Well, thanks for showing it to me. - Sure."
Hung (2009)
"You know, like, unexpectedly. Take her to Mamma Mia!"
Hung (2009)
"Maybe it will cheer her up."
Hung (2009)
"It sounded so easy when Mom used to say it."
Hung (2009)
"You never called me back."
Hung (2009)
"Ray, I know you're in there."
Hung (2009)
"Could you not be arrogant about your health?"
Hung (2009)
"- What makes you so busy? - I'm putting in a roof beam."
Hung (2009)
"And I'm gonna do it with whatever cash comes my way."
Hung (2009)
"So you don't have a camera hidden somewhere on your body?"
Hung (2009)
"- Nope. - Can I check?"
Hung (2009)
"Are you gonna be okay?"
Hung (2009)
"Well, yeah, I know, but when I was in high school, for example..."
Hung (2009)
"I'm not you."
Hung (2009)
"- It doesn't mean you're gay. - I'm not gay."
Hung (2009)
"Sweetheart, I'm gonna have to call you back."
Hung (2009)
"And how's the salts?"
Hung (2009)
"Good."
Hung (2009)
"- Antibiotics are bad even for chickens. - Will you turn around, Tanya?"
Hung (2009)
"I'm not shy."
Hung (2009)
"I don't know. Just, I..."
Hung (2009)
"- My God, so insulting. - What?"
Hung (2009)
"I mean, come on, Tanya."
Hung (2009)
"I got rights too, you know?"
Hung (2009)
"Not every customer is gonna be some perfect, big-breasted 10."
Hung (2009)
"...and getting turned on by a woman's mind?"
Hung (2009)
"The car's a closed environment, kids. I thought I'd play it safe."
Hung (2009)
"Why are outdoor movies always so violent?"
Hung (2009)
"Blood and gore plays great on the big screen."
Hung (2009)
"- Where are you going? - I need popcorn."
Hung (2009)
"Forget about him, Darb. Just ignore him."
Hung (2009)
"- Let's leave. Pretend you don't know him. - Shut up."
Hung (2009)
"Can we talk for a second, please?"
Hung (2009)
"You mean, like now?"
Hung (2009)
"- You Hammer? - Yes, sir."
Hung (2009)
"- Damester. Hey, man, you crying? - No."
Hung (2009)
"- Why's your face all wet? - I'm not crying, Dad."
Hung (2009)
"If you like lemonade."
Hung (2009)
"- The point is? - There... There is no point."
Hung (2009)
"I don't think you should spend time with Tanya, Ray."
Hung (2009)
"That young woman should be surrounded..."
Hung (2009)
"Oh, by the way, how's the vintage-car business coming?"
Hung (2009)
"It's good."
Hung (2009)
"It's great."
Hung (2009)
"- Are you done with the Circuit City thing? - Oh, God."
Hung (2009)
"So that's just enough for about a half a structural beam, right?"
Hung (2009)
"I mean, I had the flu shot."
Hung (2009)
"You're so..."
Hung (2009)
"He... He doesn't..."
Hung (2009)
"But he's terrible at sex."
Hung (2009)
"...challenging."
Hung (2009)
"I wouldn't mind just looking at your penis."
Hung (2009)
"I've been sitting here, Ray, about to shoot myself."
Hung (2009)
"Coach Ray Drecker..."
Hung (2009)
"... a West Lakefield legend."
Hung (2009)
"He started out as West Lakefield's star athlete..."
Hung (2009)
"...and a member of the legendary Wolves class of '84..."
Hung (2009)
"...when he lettered in three sports."
Hung (2009)
"After attending University of Central Florida on a prestigious baseball scholarship..."
Hung (2009)
"...Coach Ray chose to return to West Lakefield High..."
Hung (2009)
"Like my contract with the Braves, and my ligament injury."
Hung (2009)
"Like how I tasted and came close to greatness."
Hung (2009)
"Since then, Coach Ray has been with us through thick and thin..."
Hung (2009)
"...through the good times and the bad times."
Hung (2009)
"Coach Drecker's always there when we need him."
Hung (2009)
"Is that what I was to them?"
Hung (2009)
"The guy who was there?"
Hung (2009)
"The guy they could count on to stay behind when they leave?"
Hung (2009)
"- And go to college and forget our high-school days..."
Hung (2009)
"...Coach Drecker will be here."
Hung (2009)
"Coach Drecker is always here for us, which is why the student council..."
Hung (2009)
"...has chosen to make Coach Ray..."
Hung (2009)
"...the recipient of our fall fundraiser, Meet You at the Car Wash."
Hung (2009)
"Okay."
Hung (2009)
"So we thought we'd buy you a structural beam."
Hung (2009)
"...depending on the quality of the wood."
Hung (2009)
"Then they gave me the pickle jar."
Hung (2009)
"This is Ray. I lost my old phone in the fire..."
Hung (2009)
"... so make sure and leave your number."
Hung (2009)
"...because this train is really leaving the station."
Hung (2009)
"- Well, how can I choose then? - You have to trust me. I choose for you."
Hung (2009)
"L... It's a responsibility I take very seriously."
Hung (2009)
"Very seriously in every way. It's what I do."
Hung (2009)
"What if you send me some kind of freak?"
Hung (2009)
"I really just want somebody calm and normal."
Hung (2009)
"That's why a service like mine can come in so handy, Molly."
Hung (2009)
"I personally vet every individual who works for me."
Hung (2009)
"A normal person sitting across the table."
Hung (2009)
"I don't like the idea..."
Hung (2009)
"And anonymous sex ads, they're a turnoff..."
Hung (2009)
"...but that doesn't mean that I don't feel very sexy sometimes..."
Hung (2009)
"Yeah, it's really true."
Hung (2009)
"Yeah, I can understand what reasonable women want..."
Hung (2009)
"...because I am one of those women."
Hung (2009)
"That's why we're called Happiness Consultants."
Hung (2009)
"Here, let me give you one of our refrigerator magnets."
Hung (2009)
"It's a freebie."
Hung (2009)
"Yeah."
Hung (2009)
"Make sure you throw me a good-Iooking one then."
Hung (2009)
"- Naturally. - And make sure he doesn't have a small..."
Hung (2009)
"...you know... - Yeah."
Hung (2009)
"...wiener."
Hung (2009)
"Look, I get enough teeny-weeny dick already."
Hung (2009)
"Molly, relax. We have no problems in that arena."
Hung (2009)
"Oh, my God. Can you believe the things Lenore introduces me to?"
Hung (2009)
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