Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Archer - Deadly Velvet: Part 1 (S07E07)

"If the insurance company pulls the bond or, God forbid,"
Archer
"my investors back out, I'll be ruined!"
Archer
"I'm afraid I must."
Archer
"We'll see you there this afternoon."
Archer
"to do this, a movie set is huge,"
Archer
"so we're going to need all of you to go undercover, so..."
Archer
"So try to act like professionals."
Archer
"Professional whats? What do we have to do, more work?"
Archer
"to your skill sets, such as they are,"
Archer
"so Cyril... accounting. Get into those books."
Archer
"Find out who could benefit from cost overruns"
Archer
"or delays in production."
Archer
"And that is exactly what I was going to tell myself to do, so..."
Archer
"Wh... I'm the one who knows macramé."
Archer
"And you're also babysitting Carol."
Archer
"Wh... Why do I need a babysitter?"
Archer
"Because they've already had one fire."
Archer
"Then why not just leave her here?"
Archer
"Because we've already had one fire."
Archer
"hair and makeup, hair and makeup!"
Archer
"Finished?"
Archer
"Oh, you just sort of skulk around."
Archer
"Oh, I will."
Archer
"And I shall pose as an executive producer,"
Archer
"Yeah, it leaves him right here 'cause I'll be damned"
Archer
"- Oh, that's too bad. - Yeah, well..."
Archer
"Krieger, I suppose you'll just have to be"
Archer
"Veronica Deane's new bodyguard."
Archer
"Let's go, you dumb idiots."
Archer
"Well, one of you, anyway."
Archer
"I mean, unless you're down for road head."
Archer
"let me drive the truck,"
Archer
"so I was the road head-ee."
Archer
"Yep. Just one of the many perks of having a C.D.L."
Archer
"What's a C.D.L.?"
Archer
"Don't ask. You'll gag."
Archer
"I thought maybe you dopes had stumbled"
Archer
"onto some sort of mafia shakedown."
Archer
"Uh, just you?"
Archer
"What, I'm a flamboyant Hollywood producer."
Archer
"I said we'll keep you updated."
Archer
"Man, it really looks like the '40s."
Archer
"Like the time Star Trek went to Chicago."
Archer
"Archer?"
Archer
"Shapiro? What are you doing here?"
Archer
"Protecting my client"
Archer
"Oh, really, 'cause I'd like to meet those guys."
Archer
"Come on, stop."
Archer
"First of all, not a Smith & Wesson."
Archer
"I know, but I was going for the whole..."
Archer
"People are falling on shit. Like the ground."
Archer
"Well, I think it's all just a big dumb coincidence,"
Archer
"but even if it's not, don't worry about..."
Archer
"Yes? Oh, hello, Alan."
Archer
"Wait. That's why you're here?"
Archer
"Yeah, Crane hired us."
Archer
"Oh, um, yeah."
Archer
"I protected you in a hostage situation,"
Archer
"dressed as a clown."
Archer
"the only thing I need protection from is this clunky dialogue."
Archer
"Mr... Archer, was it?"
Archer
"I'm sorry you've wasted your time, but I can assure you"
Archer
"I have absolutely no need for a bodyguard, so..."
Archer
"Move those cans. Now!"
Archer
"Oh, for God's sakes, what now?"
Archer
"That, and I'm pretty sure my ribs are shattered."
Archer
"- And speaking of hemorrhaging... - What in the hell happened?"
Archer
"Oh, please."
Archer
"What is wrong with you?!"
Archer
"What's wrong with you, lady?"
Archer
"You killed it."
Archer
"It was beautiful, and you blew it out!"
Archer
"Goddamn you all to hell!"
Archer
"What the hell, Tunt?"
Archer
"You leave me to craft all the service by myself?"
Archer
"You mean smoke."
Archer
"Uh, no."
Archer
"Yes, it would appear your "phantom" has struck agai..."
Archer
"Back to work, you... you goldbricks."
Archer
"All right, you heard the man. Let's go, let's go, let's go!"
Archer
"I don't want you spreading around."
Archer
"Maybe this was just an accident."
Archer
"The brake line's cut, the steering wheel's tied off,"
Archer
"and the throttle linkage is jammed wide open."
Archer
"Yeah, I was gonna say..."
Archer
"to have his Ferrari trucked around on a flatbed."
Archer
"Actually, not much more than just driving it,"
Archer
"when you factor in all the repairs."
Archer
"Plus no DUIs."
Archer
"Well, fewer."
Archer
"And shut up."
Archer
"You wanna try and make me? Huh?"
Archer
"Now, listen here, you... you rounder."
Archer
"You keep a civil tone here with Ms. Kane,"
Archer
"you'll pass yourself going."
Archer
"and if he goes, you can find yourself another female lead."
Archer
"And on the off chance you plan to shoot anything today,"
Archer
"I'll be in my dressing room!"
Archer
"Yes, we probably shall."
Archer
"Damn it."
Archer
"shall we?"
Archer
"to cushion the blow about this,"
Archer
"as it were, so... hmm."
Archer
"Jealous."
Archer
"It's getting hard to tell the kettles from the pots around here."
Archer
"Well, usually, kettles have whistles."
Archer
""Malory"? What happened to "Ms. Archer"?"
Archer
"right in the middle of a mystery?"
Archer
"That's my point."
Archer
"I think I may have found a clue."
Archer
"Well, all right, Cyril."
Archer
"But you'd better just wind in that neck, Mr. Man."
Archer
"Because yes."
Archer
"And would you say he's... accomplished?"
Archer
"No, not... Wait... Look, I'm in love with Veronica."
Archer
"I'll never forget that moment."
Archer
"Yeah, you don't forget a hoof to the tits."
Archer
"Wh... How many have you shot?"
Archer
"Hmm... two."
Archer
"Anyway, since she and Crane divorced,"
Archer
Show more clips