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Clips from Married with Children - A Three Job, No Income Family (S03E03)

"Food. Pride."
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"Underwear."
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"At least we're going to have movies."
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"I sent your mother"
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"to Bob's Betas and Bell Bottoms in Milwaukee."
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"How come Mom can cross state lines, and I can't?"
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"in a van with a bumper sticker that read,"
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""Don't come a-knockin' if you see this van a-rockin'.""
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"That could be taken a lot of different ways."
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"Mm-hmm."
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"AL: Well, it's about time."
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"What do we have,"
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"The Predator, The Terminator?"
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"Oh, Heavenly Dog!?"
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"Al, I am really upset with your wife."
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"Kill her."
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"of my fine German automotive machinery,"
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"when a reckless driver cut me off."
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"Well, live and let live, I say,"
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"your wife leans over and gives him the finger."
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"[CHEERING]"
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"All right, Mom, way to go!"
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"I would've done the same thing."
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"Uh, excuse me,"
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"really kicks in..."
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"I might mention that the guy"
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"had a bumper sticker that said "I heart San Quentin.""
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"Did you spit on the hood?"
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"Well, I spit in that direction,"
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"but Steve's window was up."
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"Yeah, yeah, enjoy, enjoy, but I'm the guy he followed."
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"with those defensive driving moves I made."
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"You see, a fine automobile"
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"Look at the size of him."
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"He looks like acid must've been thrown in his face."
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"This guy's fresh out of the asylum!"
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"Oh, that's my date."
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"Have a good time, honey."
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"Thanks."
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"Hey, here's another car."
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"He's slowing down. Now he's coming..."
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"That's him."
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"There's the "I heart San Quentin" bumper sticker."
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"He wrote down my license plate number."
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"He's pulling away."
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"Hey, you!"
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"Yeah, you found us."
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"So, what are you going to do about it?"
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"Come on, you nose rag."
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"Anytime."
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"You know, every now and then, she makes me so proud."
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"Gee, Mr. Rhoades, you seem scared."
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"I'm not a man who runs from trouble."
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"[DOORBELL RINGS]"
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"It's trouble."
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"Steve?"
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"What's going on?"
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"and I noticed"
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"your car smelled like chicken,"
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"but when I looked closer,"
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"I found six pigeons roasting on your radiator."
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"I told you not to drive through the park."
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"Oh, now life means something to you."
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"Bud?"
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"I'm way ahead of you, Dad."
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"Oh, my God. You didn't eat here, did you?"
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"No, I couldn't decide which color wine goes with slop."
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"Hey. Tapes."
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"Look, The Predator, Dirty Harry,"
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"Judy's Huge Date?"
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"Those are private tapes, Al."
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"Well, why can't we get tapes like these, Peg?"
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"They're VHS, Al."
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"Well, of course they're VHS."
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"Only an idiot would own Beta."
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"Or someone who believes"
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"a woman's orgasm is brought on"
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"by yelling, "C'mon, will ya?""
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"What happened to your date?"
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"He wanted to study,"
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"so I just had to tell him I am not that kind of girl."
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"Hey, guys! The Colonel's here!"
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"Oh, Steve, let's go home."
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"If they don't have a virgin to sacrifice,"
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"they may turn on us."
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"Uh, listen, Marcie."
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"I've been thinking."
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"We don't have the Bundys over at our house nearly enough."
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"That's your rule, Steve."
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"Remember the speech that began, quote,"
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""I'd watch a colorized version of Casablanca"
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"with our neighbors and good friends, the Bundys."
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"Well, pigeon is better the second day."
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"Let's go!"
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"What's this all about, Steve?"
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"Hey, Kel, some guy's going"
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"to beat the tar out of Mr. Rhoades."
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"Oh, cool."
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"[TIRES SCREECH]"
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"[EXPLOSION]"
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"Yeah, but here, Bud isn't on the floor"
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"trying to look up girls' dresses."
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"Shh."
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"Didn't even look, just cut me off."
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"You know, if he had just"
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"gotten out of his car when it had happened,"
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"he and I could have settled it mano a mano."
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"for having walked away, Steve."
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"Oh, yeah."
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"Twice the man of this wimp Eastwood here."
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"[GUNSHOT, GRUNT]"
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"Well, Clint said he didn't want mayonnaise."
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"Oh, I just wish I had a second chance."
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"I tell you, I'd do things"
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"Shh."
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"I know you would, Steve,"
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"but you chose not to unleash your fury,"
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"Uh-oh. They refused Clint's credit card."
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"Hey, we're trying to watch a movie here."
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"Will somebody get that?"
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