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Clips from Girls5eva - Cease and Desist (S01E01)

"Do you think you could come get a drink with me?"
Girls5eva
"I can't open cans with my nails--pfft."
Girls5eva
"- [softly] Sure."
Girls5eva
"- Why did you invite Scott?"
Girls5eva
"- I didn't. He surprised me."
Girls5eva
"Oh, God, looks so concerned."
Girls5eva
"Is it more than just sucking?"
Girls5eva
"Does he have secret information that I'm dying or something?"
Girls5eva
"- Look, you have to ignore him. We have a show to do."
Girls5eva
"So where's Fledge?"
Girls5eva
"- Driving a Miata somewhere. - Oh, God."
Girls5eva
"Your imagination is so lame."
Girls5eva
"You gotta get together."
Girls5eva
"[energetic pop music] Fledge is fearless,"
Girls5eva
"Fledge is sexy,"
Girls5eva
"Fledge is gonna take a shot"
Girls5eva
"off of the Skinny Boy Vodka luge right now."
Girls5eva
"Go get it, Fledge!"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- Whoo!"
Girls5eva
"* Seize the tonight! *"
Girls5eva
"- Go. Okay."
Girls5eva
"- Cease and desist, bitch! - Oh!"
Girls5eva
"You are out of order! - [giggles]"
Girls5eva
"- Wickie, Zander."
Girls5eva
"Your work in "The Maskical" changed my life."
Girls5eva
"All tea, no shade. Thank you."
Girls5eva
"- You're welcome, darling baby snuggles baby."
Girls5eva
"[both giggling]"
Girls5eva
"[camera shutter clicks]"
Girls5eva
"[laughter] - Okay, bye."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, bye."
Girls5eva
"- You slay my ass. I have no skin."
Girls5eva
"- Wickie, didn't "The Maskical" close after like a week?"
Girls5eva
"- Only because the signature green cocktail"
Girls5eva
"dyed everyone's anuses green."
Girls5eva
"- So how did that guy ever see it?"
Girls5eva
"He would be like ten. And it was in Pasadena."
Girls5eva
"- I don't know,"
Girls5eva
"but he must have been in the crowd feeling seen."
Girls5eva
"If this is jealousy, it isn't a good color on you."
Girls5eva
"Next!"
Girls5eva
"[hoots and hollers] - Cease and desist!"
Girls5eva
"- Let's go. [indistinct excited chatter]"
Girls5eva
"[quirky downbeat music]"
Girls5eva
"- Thanks. Do you have gum?"
Girls5eva
"- I'm not the bathroom attendant."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, sorry."
Girls5eva
"- Hey, hey."
Girls5eva
"Just out of queeriosity,"
Girls5eva
"how did "Maskical" change your life, Zander?"
Girls5eva
"- Really? - Mm-hmm."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, you're cute that you don't know."
Girls5eva
"I'm a lip-sync-fluencer. I lip-sync to divas going off."
Girls5eva
"I've done all the classics."
Girls5eva
"Katherine Heigl losing it on the script supervisor"
Girls5eva
"on "State of Affairs,""
Girls5eva
"Wendy Williams dressing down a CVS self-checkout machine..."
Girls5eva
"- Hmm. - I rode the Karen wave, obvs,"
Girls5eva
"did both sides of the David O. Russell-Lily Tomlin fights,"
Girls5eva
"whoever they are,"
Girls5eva
"but then last month, I was panning deep"
Girls5eva
"in a community theater subreddit and struck gold."
Girls5eva
"- * Funky, weird *"
Girls5eva
"* Mask-y mask *"
Girls5eva
"No, no!"
Girls5eva
"Stop "The Maskical"! [audience murmuring]"
Girls5eva
"I see you! I see you, lady."
Girls5eva
"Cease and desist!"
Girls5eva
"When you snap a photo of my performance,"
Girls5eva
"you disrespect me, you disrespect the work,"
Girls5eva
"you disrespect Sir James Eugene Carrey."
Girls5eva
"[audience gasping] Cease and desist, bitch!"
Girls5eva
"- My lip-sync blew up gay Twitter."
Girls5eva
"I got a verified check"
Girls5eva
"and now I'm a spokesman for CBD pacifiers."
Girls5eva
"Blessed!"
Girls5eva
"[quirky upbeat music]"
Girls5eva
"- Come on!"
Girls5eva
"[thumping techno music]"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- I'll get the Shit Stirrer."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, it's vodka, bubbles, and opinions."
Girls5eva
"- Who are you?"
Girls5eva
"- I'm Tipper Gore."
Girls5eva
"And I'm on-theme."
Girls5eva
"- Cool."
Girls5eva
"- Why are you out here with the normies?"
Girls5eva
"You got a VIP bracelet on."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, I'm giving my wife space,"
Girls5eva
"letting her get into pop star mode."
Girls5eva
"- Mm-hmm. - What?"
Girls5eva
"- Nothing. - Come on."
Girls5eva
"- Well, you're handsome and all."
Girls5eva
"Big eyes like a Margaret King painting."
Girls5eva
"But you don't seem like the kind of guy"
Girls5eva
"that'd be married to a pop star."
Girls5eva
"I can see the outline"
Girls5eva
"of your Kindle through your cargo shorts."
Girls5eva
"- For the commute."
Girls5eva
"I'm finally reading "Team of Rivals.""
Girls5eva
"- It's just like tends to find like."
Girls5eva
"JLo and A-Rod, Beyoncé and Jay-Z."
Girls5eva
"Lisa Bonet is with Jason Momoa."
Girls5eva
"Not, like, a teacher."
Girls5eva
"- I'm a guidance counselor."
Girls5eva
"- Ooh, did I just stir shit"
Girls5eva
"'cause I'm paid in bar cherries and bored?"
Girls5eva
"[quirky downbeat music]"
Girls5eva
"- Would you like to know the real reason"
Girls5eva
"that you are top doggy around here?"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- And you!"
Girls5eva
"Chomping on Raisinets like it's your identity?"
Girls5eva
"Your wet mouth disrespects the work of our director,"
Girls5eva
"the recently deceased Richie Tompkins."
Girls5eva
"And you..."
Girls5eva
"your leather pants noises disrespect the theatre."
Girls5eva
"Take 'em off."
Girls5eva
"Or I will cut them off"
Girls5eva
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