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Clips from Girls5eva - Cease and Desist (S01E01)

"- Have you seen the space heater?"
Girls5eva
"I don't know where it is. Wickie moved everything."
Girls5eva
"- No, sorry. Wait."
Girls5eva
"Did you make"
Girls5eva
"the "Maxim" hotlist?"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, yeah."
Girls5eva
"Oh my God, we got this swag bag"
Girls5eva
"from the women's empowerment luncheon"
Girls5eva
"at the Victoria's Secret Trampoline Park."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, a temporary tramp stamp."
Girls5eva
""October Sky" now on VHS."
Girls5eva
"- I was saving this for the right time."
Girls5eva
"[clicks tongue] Life lesson."
Girls5eva
"- This is signed by Derek Jeter."
Girls5eva
"- Yeah, we sang the national anthem at Yankee Stadium,"
Girls5eva
"and then some of us got a gift basket"
Girls5eva
"the next morning for..."
Girls5eva
"[sighs] fucking Derek Jeter."
Girls5eva
"- That is so unfair. You don't even like baseball."
Girls5eva
"But no judgments--we both hooked up with celebrities."
Girls5eva
"- [laughs]"
Girls5eva
"The girl that was in her dad's bedbugs commercial?"
Girls5eva
"- It aired in three states."
Girls5eva
"- * Gonna be famous 5eva *"
Girls5eva
"* 'Cause 4ever's too short *"
Girls5eva
"* Too short *"
Girls5eva
"* Gonna be famous 3gether *"
Girls5eva
"* 'Cause that's one more than 2gether *"
Girls5eva
"* Gonna be famous 5eva *"
Girls5eva
"* 'Cause 4ever's too short *"
Girls5eva
"* Girls5eva *"
Girls5eva
"[chimes ring]"
Girls5eva
"[upbeat music]"
Girls5eva
"- So I made our offish booking page."
Girls5eva
"So far, we've mostly gotten hit up for foot pics."
Girls5eva
"- You said you had good news? - Yes."
Girls5eva
"Then-- [giggles]"
Girls5eva
"a DJ asked us if we wanted to headline this."
Girls5eva
"Y2Gay, an early aughts-themed pride party."
Girls5eva
"We got our first gig! - Oh!"
Girls5eva
"- Yes! - We're icons."
Girls5eva
"We're Kylie Minogue."
Girls5eva
"We are Robin."
Girls5eva
"We are Cher."
Girls5eva
"I can do a five-minute plank, too."
Girls5eva
"- Oh. - Wait, isn't Pride in June?"
Girls5eva
"- RuPaul said every month is Pride Month."
Girls5eva
"- Thanks, Rusty."
Girls5eva
"- Stop listening to my private conversations."
Girls5eva
"- Oh. - Anyway, we get to do"
Girls5eva
"a performance, there's a meet and greet"
Girls5eva
"with VIP guests, and ladies..."
Girls5eva
"there's a glam budget."
Girls5eva
"- Oh, we can debut "Four Stars.""
Girls5eva
"- Yes! - This is perfect."
Girls5eva
"I know you're not gonna believe this,"
Girls5eva
"but I've actually never been to a Pride party before."
Girls5eva
"- How? What?"
Girls5eva
"- I was too busy drilling, filling, and building."
Girls5eva
"- Oh! Oh, God."
Girls5eva
"Okay."
Girls5eva
"[chuckling] That was six minutes, easy."
Girls5eva
"- Eh."
Girls5eva
"- Gloria, you know I understand the struggle."
Girls5eva
"- Aw. - I've worn a mask myself."
Girls5eva
"- Mm."
Girls5eva
"- When I starred in "The Maskical," the musical."
Girls5eva
"* I'm smokin'! *"
Girls5eva
"[dramatic musical chords]"
Girls5eva
"* I'm smokin'! *"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"* Alrighty, then *"
Girls5eva
"- Wasn't "alrighty, then" from "Ace Ventura"?"
Girls5eva
"- Yes. - Yeah."
Girls5eva
"- It was a pastiche of the Jim Carrey oeuvre."
Girls5eva
"- Neat."
Girls5eva
"Well, all I know is I can't wait"
Girls5eva
"to gay out and bask in the love of my people."
Girls5eva
"- Okay, well, let's all agree"
Girls5eva
"tomorrow is Gloria's day, because you deserve it."
Girls5eva
"- Yes, baby girl."
Girls5eva
"- And, obviously, whomever I take home"
Girls5eva
"will get a gift basket because I'm classy."
Girls5eva
"[upbeat music]"
Girls5eva
"- You can make Max some of those"
Girls5eva
"Dr. Craegner's spinach dinosaurs for lunch."
Girls5eva
"- I reject those."
Girls5eva
"- Okay. You make whatever you want."
Girls5eva
"- I'll do cauliflower steak... - But just maybe not"
Girls5eva
"the cauliflower steak. - With tapenade."
Girls5eva
"I read that you have to offer a child capers"
Girls5eva
"15 times before they understand umami."
Girls5eva
"- Hey, do you think it's too cold for these?"
Girls5eva
"If I wear thick Beyoncé tights under 'em?"
Girls5eva
"- Did Jeter buy you those? - No!"
Girls5eva
"Drew Barrymore and Tom Green sent them 'cause they wanted--"
Girls5eva
"[chuckles] It was a different time."
Girls5eva
"[inhales deeply]"
Girls5eva
"But they still fit because leather stretches like skin,"
Girls5eva
"because it is skin."
Girls5eva
"What is that face? - What face?"
Girls5eva
"- [huffs] That face."
Girls5eva
"You look like Gordon the Train"
Girls5eva
"after Percy and Thomas made fun of him"
Girls5eva
"for his rattling firebox."
Girls5eva
"God, I hate that weird show."
Girls5eva
"- There's no face. It's great, you look great."
Girls5eva
"Have a great show."
Girls5eva
"Just remember Max and I love you."
Girls5eva
"[quirky dramatic music]"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- [inhales deeply]"
Girls5eva
"* *"
Girls5eva
"- Obergefell v. Hodges."
Girls5eva
"Is that a reference to the Supreme Court"
Girls5eva
"marriage equality case?"
Girls5eva
"- It is. - Oh."
Girls5eva
"- But when I bought it,"
Girls5eva
"I did think it was just those two old, mean Muppets."
Girls5eva
"- Oh. - But then, today,"
Girls5eva
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