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Clips from New Girl - Neighbors (S02E02)

"It's not even a real spice, man."
New Girl
"The Spice is coming back. The guy with the horse?"
New Girl
"Classic cologne fight."
New Girl
"SCHMIDT: They're gonna hear! Stop it!"
New Girl
"JESS: Guys! - Shh!"
New Girl
"Hi."
New Girl
"Zander and Raj went to Pate's thing so tonight's been notched down to a chill hang."
New Girl
"- No, can't do this. - Have fun, kids."
New Girl
"What are you guys doing, huh? What is that?"
New Girl
"Is that Top Gun? Oh, look at that. Look at Anthony Eds. The Goose Man."
New Girl
"- Goose dies? - Not cool, man."
New Girl
"No, it's... Look, nobody does an on-screen death like Anthony Eds."
New Girl
"He's like the Hilary Swank of bald men."
New Girl
"- He's like the Hilary Swank of bald... - Hold everything,."
New Girl
"- Is that Cass Shant? - Casserole Shanty? That's where I work."
New Girl
"Your chicken broccoli fuels my night bikes."
New Girl
"I'm very happy to help."
New Girl
"Some of my friends don't appreciate it."
New Girl
"CHAZ: No. - You're just figuring it out."
New Girl
"- Just like us. - Yeah."
New Girl
"I am figuring it out. Thank you, Brorie, I am. I'm just figuring it out. And that's okay."
New Girl
"- What do you do? - I work at home."
New Girl
"- I'm a DJ. - Was I not clear?"
New Girl
"I work for a single-national corporation called Associated Strategies."
New Girl
"FIFE: Moo! ALL: Ha, ha!"
New Girl
"I know. Yeah, totally, like, I get that."
New Girl
"[SCHMIDT MOOING]"
New Girl
"[SCHMIDT LAUGHS]"
New Girl
"Right, that's a thing, right? Moo?"
New Girl
"Schmidt. You know, whatever..."
New Girl
"Jess."
New Girl
"[IMITATES URKEL] Did I do that?"
New Girl
"[ALL LAUGHING]"
New Girl
"How did you come up with that? Where'd you get that?"
New Girl
"[IN NORMAL VOICE] It just came to me. - Where did that come from?"
New Girl
"I just thought of it."
New Girl
"Hey, Nana, Pop-Pop. You missed an unreal hang last night."
New Girl
"- Unreal, with a capital "Un" WINSTON: Really?"
New Girl
"It's a different world over there. A world where it's okay to only have a part-time job."
New Girl
"A world where it's okay that I'm still finding myself."
New Girl
"A world where I have not one, but two catchphrases."
New Girl
"Five hundred dollars."
New Girl
"[ALL LAUGH]"
New Girl
"How rude!"
New Girl
"BRORIE: I can't take it!"
New Girl
"There's just one tiny hitch."
New Girl
"- It's very awkward, and I don't know how to... - They hate Schmidt."
New Girl
"So much."
New Girl
"- How did you know? - If I had a dollar..."
New Girl
"...for everybody I couldn't hang out with because they hated Schmidt, I'd be rich."
New Girl
"Like "fill my gas tank all the way up" rich."
New Girl
"He was all over the map. He spent 20 minutes talking about aioli."
New Girl
"- Don't worry about it. I'm on it. - What do you mean, you're on it?"
New Girl
"You're gonna prank him, aren't you? I knew it. You're gonna prank him."
New Girl
"Can I help? I'm really good with pranks."
New Girl
"- You cannot help with the pranks. - Why not, man? I'm the best."
New Girl
"- They call me "Prank" Sinatra. - No, you call you Prank Sinatra."
New Girl
"- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are."
New Girl
"You either go way too small..."
New Girl
"Hey. Let's pour a little juice near her shoe."
New Girl
"Or you go way too big."
New Girl
"Hey. Let's hit her in her throat with a ski."
New Girl
"You don't have a pranking sweet spot."
New Girl
"Speaking of..."
New Girl
"- Are you limping? - My hip is achy."
New Girl
"I wonder if it's your shoes. Have you tried different shoes?"
New Girl
"- What did you do? - He could try on a hundred different pairs..."
New Girl
"...it's not gonna matter."
New Girl
"The left heel is an eighth of an inch shorter on every single pair."
New Girl
"[WINSTON & NICK LAUGH]"
New Girl
"- This is so crazy, Nick. - Oh, my God, you know what we should do?"
New Girl
"We should take those shavings and then sprinkle them by his car."
New Girl
"Let me just get this clear. Take the little bit of dust..."
New Girl
"- Yes, the... ...and go outside and put it near his car?"
New Girl
"- Yes. - That's not a prank."
New Girl
"- Yes, it is. - That's just littering."
New Girl
"- His whole ride to work, he's thinking, "What?" NICK: Okay, you got it."
New Girl
"So we're pranking him so he thinks while we're not around, "What?""
New Girl
"It's too small. You've got to go bigger than that."
New Girl
"Well, anyway, I gotta fill this up with pee."
New Girl
"- Ew! Why? - So I can pour it over Schmidt's bed..."
New Girl
"...and make him think he's incontinent."
New Girl
"- That's disgusting, Nick. - Sometimes up close, art is ugly."
New Girl
"Got an idea. Instead of urine, we use acid. Ha-ha."
New Girl
"We put it on his face. All right?"
New Girl
"Jess, do these pants seem long to you?"
New Girl
"Nick picked them up from the dry-cleaner for me today and I swear they seem longer."
New Girl
"I think your pants look fine."
New Girl
"Okay, Jess, tonight you're obviously gonna want to follow my lead."
New Girl
"I don't know how to tell you this. Actually, I do."
New Girl
"- Um, they hate you. - Heh. That's crazy."
New Girl
"It is crazy, how much they hate you."
New Girl
"Watch. Every time you say something, they're gonna change the subject immediately."
New Girl
"That's how you tell if people hate you."
New Girl
"I'm pretty sure I know how to crush it with the kids."
New Girl
"[GROUP CHATTERING]"
New Girl
"Watch this. Hey guys."
New Girl
"What up, yo? Throw your damn hands up. We hanging out tonight?"
New Girl
"- Jess, I love your hair. - It is so good today."
New Girl
"- Flowy. - Really curly."
New Girl
"What do you guys think about the length of my sideburns?"
New Girl
"Daring or gauche?"
New Girl
"I got my plane ticket home for Easter. Thank you for reminding me."
New Girl
"Yeah, no, of course. I've got, like, a little calendar."
New Girl
"You know, I've got a great, um... I've got a great plane-ticket guy."
New Girl
"That you..."
New Girl
"We're having another hang tonight, Jess. We got chokes, hula hoop, sitar."
New Girl
"- You should come over. - Yeah."
New Girl
"Totally."
New Girl
"You too, Schmidt."
New Girl
"[CHAZ SIGHS]"
New Girl
"Oh, hey, I gotta take this."
New Girl
"Ferguson? Is that you?"
New Girl
"Yeah. Tonight? Well..."
New Girl
"I mean, I made plans with..."
New Girl
"Well, look, if that's the comptroller's timeline, then that's the comptroller's timeline."
New Girl
"Well, hell, yes, send a car!"
New Girl
"Jess, do you wanna hula-hoop with me all night-slash-forever?"
New Girl
"[ALL CHATTERING]"
New Girl
"Oh, gosh."
New Girl
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