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Clips from The Simpsons - The Computer Wore Menace Shoes (S12E12)

"Hey, open up! I've been standing here all morning!"
The Simpsons
"No one told me the plant was closed."
The Simpsons
"Hey, Carl, turn up the car radio."
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"As soon as somebody lets me out of here."
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"Oh. I'm so stupid."
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"Uh, I guess I'll take that one."
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"Hmm. Well, do you need a paperweight?"
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"Only suckers buy out-of-date machines."
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"Hey, Lisa, check out my new computer."
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"Don't worry, head. The computer will do our thinking now."
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"Now, then- Computer, kill Flanders."
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"Good start. Now finish the job."
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"Oh, you're busy. Catch you later, "computator.""
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"If you've committed a crime and you want to confess, click "yes.""
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"Otherwise click "No.""
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"- Hey! - While you wait, why not buy a police cap or t-shirt?"
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"They found a switchblade in my locker."
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"You've just stolen copyrighted material from everyone else."
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"- They could sue you for that. - I took a swing at a cop."
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"Ajoke, an opinion, an idea."
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"That lousy pothole! Why don't they fix it?"
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"I heard Mayor Quimby spent the street repair fund..."
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"- You know, it might have been Jimbo. - Beautiful!"
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"Our mayor is corrupt?"
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"despite his poor grammar and spelling."
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"What's all this about a secret swimming pool?"
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"- Aaah! - Uh, don't go in there!"
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"Oh, that's delicious. Can I have more?"
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"Good Lord! We've discovered the ruins of an ancient city."
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"How do they get those dogs to talk on the beer commercials?"
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"My bagels are nothing but week-old doughnuts."
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"I once ran over a guy in a parking lot..."
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"bagel, cruller and bear claw in the city-"
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"But I assure you, the police do not take prisoners out of their cells..."
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"and race them... anymore."
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"Yeah, all right, this press conference is over."
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"Miss Springfield isn't as beautiful as she seems."
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"Word is, she uses appearance-altering cosmetics."
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"- Oh, my God. That's shocking. - I don't believe that."
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"Well, if Mr. X were here right now, I'd buy him a tall frosty."
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"- What if I just whisper it! - No, I tells ya!"
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"# I've been sittin' on the toilet #"
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"I hope no one finds out about this."
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"Then it's agreed."
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"You are a credit to the great Satan."
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"Oh, don't worry about those fumes."
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"They'll be sucked into that air vent."
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"This place is falling apart."
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"Mmm."
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"Now we wait."
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"But I do feel bad about the starving children."
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"- Right. - Hey, guys. How's it going?"
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"Oh, don't worry about the Mr. X thing."
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"I'm just here for a beer."
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"Uh-Terrible, disturbing secrets."
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"I'll tell you later."
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"Well, you can't post news if you don't have any."
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"Let's see now. Bulletin."
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"All named Morton-"
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"but I'm getting a thousand hits an hour with grade "A" bull plop."
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"Aah! Aah! What's going on?"
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"Help! I'm being kidnapped!"
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"Wait. I'm Mr. X."
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"Hmm? Hmm?"
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"Because you know something."
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"- See you tomorrow. - No, you won't!"
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"All right, whatever."
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"Welcome, friend. I'm Number Six."
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"- Ha, ha! In your face, Number Six! - Yes. Well done."
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"Oh, that's a darling name for a dog."
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"To drive people into a frenzy of shopping."
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"Yes, it is. And we can't have you out there mucking it up, now can we?"
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"As far as your family knows, Homer Simpson is walking in the front door..."
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"right about now."
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"I'm sorry. What?"
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"Homie!"
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"You're not my husband."
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"Well, I sure don't feel like cooking."
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"- I am a new tie wearing. - Oh, yeah."
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"and the sail is made of scabs and dynamite."
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"It's small and it's smelly, but it should carry both of us to-"
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"That-That's the third time that's happened!"
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"Huh. That was easy."
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"Shut up! That's why."
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"but you're proving quite the caterpillar in our buttermilk."
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"- Huh? - We're shutting you down."
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"- Gott in Himmel! - Oh, Marge."
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"Mmm, mmm!"
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"Once you get used to the "druggings," this isn't a bad place."
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"Shh!"
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"#The Simpsons #"
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"The plant's closed for fumigation."
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"- Didn't you get the e-mail? - What's an e-mail?"
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"It's a computer thing- Like an electric letter."
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"Or a quiet phone call."
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"- I don't have a computer. - Too bad."
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"That's why you're at work while we're living it up on our day off."
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"Why not? Anything goes today."
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"That does it! I'm getting a computer-"
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"Because if you buy that machine, that's all you're gonna have, is an expensive paperweight."
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"Well, a paperweight would be nice, but what I really need is a computer."
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"Uh, you're not a sucker, are you, sir?"
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"- Heavens, no! - Oh, good."
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"I just need something to receive e-mail."
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"You'll need a top-of-the-line machine for that."
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"Five thousand dollars?"
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"You only have 10 seconds to decide, sir."
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"Absolutely. Just run the deed to your house through here."
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"- You are on your- - Fifth."
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"Dad, you shouldn't drag that around."
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"That's right. Top of the line."
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"Stupid pothole."
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"Oh, yeah. Perfect."
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"Did I hear my name? My ears are burning."
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"Oh, $5,000 for a computer, and it can't handle a simple assignment."
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"Hey! Why, you little-"
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"Okay, you're ready to go."
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"I've written down the basic commands..."
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"- Hmm. - Homer, bring that back in the house."
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"Ooh, a dancing Jesus."
The Simpsons
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