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Clips from The Simpsons - The Parent Rap (S13E13)

"No!"
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"Wait. I'm to blame, Judge."
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"You see, I was pressuring my wife"
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"to make love in front of our son,"
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"you're gonna laugh when you hear this, when suddenly..."
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"Well, I thought Dad was the problem,"
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"but apparently Mom is no prize pig herself."
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"It's a miracle poor Bartholomew isn't"
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"robbing banks and chasing sweet Lady H."
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"I'm a latchkey kid."
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"You are not!"
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"Quiet, little girl!"
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"You two need to wake up and smell the java,"
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"and the first step is to admit that you're bad parents."
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"I admit it. Homer, no. We're not bad parents."
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"Yes, you are! Just say it!"
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"No, I won't! And frankly, Judge, I think you're a bully!"
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"You do, huh?"
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"You're so busy thinking up crazy ways to punish people,"
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"you can't see how much I love my kids."
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"Your Honor, I'd like to be tried separately."
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"I don't mean to be disrespectful, Judge Harm,"
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"but we are not bad parents,"
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"and there isn't a tether in this world"
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"with enough fiber optics to make me say we are."
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"Hmm."
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"She's such a butthole."
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"Ow!"
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"Do you think it's fair that you're always getting into trouble"
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"yet Mom and Dad are being punished?"
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"No, it's terrible."
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"Well, why don't you do something about it?"
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"After wrestling."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, I don't believe what I am seeing."
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"You're not even listening."
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"I know you are, but what am I?"
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"Haven't we been humiliated enough?"
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"Not yet, no."
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"Well, that explains the sign."
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"Yeah! Ooh! Here comes a car."
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"Yarr, ye scurvy dogs!"
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"Hey! No extension cords!"
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"You know, we could get out of these stupid things"
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"if you'd just tell the judge you're a bad mother."
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"And you don't even have to say "bad. ""
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"It could be "negligent" or "unfit" or "drugged up. ""
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"I just can't do that, Homer."
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"You're right. It's time to stand up to that firm-breasted judge."
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"But first, we've gotta break out of these stocks."
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"I want goggles, too!"
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"Shh! You'll wake up Flanders."
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"Hey, Marge, surf's up!"
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"Well, we tried all those other tools."
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"Gee, I always like to help you, Homer,"
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"Now, time for "Operation Judge-Get-Back-At. ""
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"If that costume shop knew we were using"
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"these burglar outfits for real,"
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"they'd be furious."
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"Okay. She lives at 1 Ocean View Drive."
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"Let's start skulking."
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"Hey, maybe I should be a milkman!"
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"Concentrate, Homer."
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"This address must be wrong."
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"She lives in a houseboat? Wow! She is so cool!"
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"We hate her, Homer."
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"Let's do this thing."
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"Cops!"
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"Ain't that sweet, Chief?"
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"Those two longshoremen found love."
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"Look at her in there, washing her body."
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"Get away from that window and help me with this banner."
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"I hate to call a judge dirty names,"
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"Let's get out of here!"
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"It's just a friendly seal."
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"Shut up!"
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"What is it, Pancho? Is someone out there?"
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"You can't hide from me."
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"She's gonna find us!"
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"Oh, Lord, guide this cinder block."
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"Oh-oh."
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"Hey, how you doing?"
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"So... It cost you nothing."
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"Shut up!"
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"and I'm gonna lock you up till frogs do fractions."
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"Your Honor, may I say something?"
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"Well, it is highly unorthodox."
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"So, no!"
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"Please, Your Honor?"
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"Oh, I can't resist that look."
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"You remind me of me when I was a little boy."
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"I'm always screwing up in school"
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"and getting in trouble with the law."
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"But if I grow up to be a halfway-decent person,"
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"I know it'll be because of my mom and dad."
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"Everyone else might give up on me, but my parents never will."
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"That's my brother."
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"anyone in this courtroom today,"
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"I ask that you punish me."
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"Bartholomew Simpson, I hereby sentence you to five years in juvenile hall!"
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"Well, I'm back from vacation."
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"But I was just about to bang my gavel, making the sentence official."
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"Sorry, I've already put my clown down."
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"But I was just going to..."
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"The clown is down."
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"Judge Snyder, motion to declare a writ of boys will be boys."
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"Motion granted. Case dismissed!"
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"Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!"
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"All right, we got lucky that time,"
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"but I want everyone in this family to raise your hand"
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"and promise not to break the law for one full year."
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"We promise. We promise."
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"That was close."
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"Please drive off me."
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"Uh... Just the radio, dear."
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"Dang me, dang me They ought to take a rope and hang me"
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"High from the highest tree"
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"Seasons don't fear the reaper"
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"Baby, take my hand"
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"Cobras!"
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"Let's never miss the school bus again."
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