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Clips from Superstore - Integrity Award (S02E02)

Oh, I didn't mean that in, like, a Latino way.

"Oh, I didn't mean that in, like, a Latino way."

Superstore

Hey, Dad, you know, Jonah is a real art lover.

"Hey, Dad, you know, Jonah is a real art lover."

Superstore

- Oh. - Oh, really?

"- Oh. - Oh, really?"

Superstore

Powerful, aren't they?

"Powerful, aren't they?"

Superstore

Yeah... yeah, yeah,

"Yeah... yeah, yeah,"

Superstore

you have a... a real eye for composition.

"you have a... a real eye for composition."

Superstore

They're celebrities.

"They're celebrities."

Superstore

Yeah. Yeah, I caught that.

"Yeah. Yeah, I caught that."

Superstore

I knew you'd appreciate them.

"I knew you'd appreciate them."

Superstore

- Yeah... - Pick your favorite one.

"- Yeah... - Pick your favorite one."

Superstore

Oh, me? No, no, no. Come on, I couldn't.

"Oh, me? No, no, no. Come on, I couldn't."

Superstore

No, no, no, I insist.

"No, no, no, I insist."

Superstore

I don't have room for them anyway in the new place.

"I don't have room for them anyway in the new place."

Superstore

Oh, okay, thanks.

"Oh, okay, thanks."

Superstore

- Why? - Well, I...

"- Why? - Well, I..."

Superstore

that's just because... I mean, I... I'll take any of them.

"that's just because... I mean, I... I'll take any of them."

Superstore

No, no, no, no, fine. You want Putin, take him.

"No, no, no, no, fine. You want Putin, take him."

Superstore

Thank you. This, uh... this mean a lot.

"Thank you. This, uh... this mean a lot."

Superstore

Let's say, um... $30 sound fair?

"Let's say, um... $30 sound fair?"

Superstore

Yeah... yeah, $30's... $30's cool.

"Yeah... yeah, $30's... $30's cool."

Superstore

$30's good. Yeah.

"$30's good. Yeah."

Superstore

Hey, Cheyenne.

"Hey, Cheyenne."

Superstore

I was just reading your recommendation.

"I was just reading your recommendation."

Superstore

It is so nice.

"It is so nice."

Superstore

But three sentences?

"But three sentences?"

Superstore

Can I really be summed up in three sentences?

"Can I really be summed up in three sentences?"

Superstore

Oh, should it be longer?

"Oh, should it be longer?"

Superstore

Well...

"Well..."

Superstore

I'm just wondering if we could up the wow factor.

"I'm just wondering if we could up the wow factor."

Superstore

I mean, it's not about making it longer.

"I mean, it's not about making it longer."

Superstore

It's about making it better and longer.

"It's about making it better and longer."

Superstore

So do you want me to write another one?

"So do you want me to write another one?"

Superstore

I think you want you to write another one.

"I think you want you to write another one."

Superstore

- That's what I'm hearing. - Oh, okay.

"- That's what I'm hearing. - Oh, okay."

Superstore

I'll do it as soon as I'm done with this customer.

"I'll do it as soon as I'm done with this customer."

Superstore

Oh, I'll take over,

"Oh, I'll take over,"

Superstore

so... so you can get to it while it's fresh in your head.

"so... so you can get to it while it's fresh in your head."

Superstore

- What is? - I can't wait to find out.

"- What is? - I can't wait to find out."

Superstore

- Okay. - Okay.

"- Okay. - Okay."

Superstore

Hi.

"Hi."

Superstore

Are you ready to be your best self?

"Are you ready to be your best self?"

Superstore

Okay.

"Okay."

Superstore

That's it?

"That's it?"

Superstore

The exterminator was here. You just missed him.

"The exterminator was here. You just missed him."

Superstore

Oh, yeah, I saw him. Really skinny guy.

"Oh, yeah, I saw him. Really skinny guy."

Superstore

Huh, I didn't think so.

"Huh, I didn't think so."

Superstore

Well, you can't tell in a jumpsuit.

"Well, you can't tell in a jumpsuit."

Superstore

Anyway, thanks for making Jeff send him.

"Anyway, thanks for making Jeff send him."

Superstore

Sure. I'm a good man to know,

"Sure. I'm a good man to know,"

Superstore

so let me know if you need anything else.

"so let me know if you need anything else."

Superstore

Cool. Well, I'd love to get

"Cool. Well, I'd love to get"

Superstore

- Utility room's a mess. - Okay...

"- Utility room's a mess. - Okay..."

Superstore

seems like a lot to ask all at once.

"seems like a lot to ask all at once."

Superstore

Come on now, you just need to make it worth his while, right?

"Come on now, you just need to make it worth his while, right?"

Superstore

Bedroom-wise? Kitchen-wise? Dungeon-wise?

"Bedroom-wise? Kitchen-wise? Dungeon-wise?"

Superstore

Whatever it is you guys do.

"Whatever it is you guys do."

Superstore

This would just really help me out.

"This would just really help me out."

Superstore

- Okay, sure, no problem. - Great.

"- Okay, sure, no problem. - Great."

Superstore

Let me know if you need any good sex moves.

"Let me know if you need any good sex moves."

Superstore

Nope, I'm good.

"Nope, I'm good."

Superstore

You're gonna wanna take his whole mess of parts,

"You're gonna wanna take his whole mess of parts,"

Superstore

and just twist 'em up fast, okay?

"and just twist 'em up fast, okay?"

Superstore

Like a... like a windup toy.

"Like a... like a windup toy."

Superstore

Uh, pretend it's a jar of pickles that won't open.

"Uh, pretend it's a jar of pickles that won't open."

Superstore

Excuse you, this is a private conversation.

"Excuse you, this is a private conversation."

Superstore

Okay someone's ready for the dance.

"Okay someone's ready for the dance."

Superstore

Hi, boy! Hi.

"Hi, boy! Hi."

Superstore

I was looking everywhere for him.

"I was looking everywhere for him."

Superstore

Aww, hi, boy.

"Aww, hi, boy."

Superstore

Oh, what's going on here?

"Oh, what's going on here?"

Superstore

Garrett didn't just find a dog.

"Garrett didn't just find a dog."

Superstore

He found a veteran's dog.

"He found a veteran's dog."

Superstore

Thank you. You're a hero.

"Thank you. You're a hero."

Superstore

Oh, no, sir, thank you. You're the real hero here.

"Oh, no, sir, thank you. You're the real hero here."

Superstore

- You are. - Well, okay, I'll take it.

"- You are. - Well, okay, I'll take it."

Superstore

All of us are heroes.

"All of us are heroes."

Superstore

Connie, you have more necklaces

"Connie, you have more necklaces"

Superstore

made out of coins than I have ever seen.

"made out of coins than I have ever seen."

Superstore

Until now, the record was zero.

"Until now, the record was zero."

Superstore

I'm hungry.

"I'm hungry."

Superstore

Connie, I'm hungry.

"Connie, I'm hungry."

Superstore

Okay, I will order pizza, and we will keep packing until it gets here.

"Okay, I will order pizza, and we will keep packing until it gets here."

Superstore

Pizza?

"Pizza?"

Superstore

This is our last meal in this house.

"This is our last meal in this house."

Superstore

- I mean, we could. - I'll make tamales.

"- I mean, we could. - I'll make tamales."

Superstore

- Ooh, that sounds good... - Oh, yeah.

"- Ooh, that sounds good... - Oh, yeah."

Superstore

But so does pizza.

"But so does pizza."

Superstore

Mom, we don't have twelve hours for you to make tamales.

"Mom, we don't have twelve hours for you to make tamales."

Superstore

I'll hurry.

"I'll hurry."

Superstore

I just have to find that steamer.

"I just have to find that steamer."

Superstore

Mom, please, no. Don't... do not open that...

"Mom, please, no. Don't... do not open that..."

Superstore

I just packed...

"I just packed..."

Superstore

I can't.

"I can't."

Superstore

Jonah, I'm feeling like $30 was a little low.

"Jonah, I'm feeling like $30 was a little low."

Superstore

So all of us at corporate would like to congratulate you

"So all of us at corporate would like to congratulate you"

Superstore

on some find work today. Really impressive.

"on some find work today. Really impressive."

Superstore

Ah, just doing what I do.

"Ah, just doing what I do."

Superstore

Right, but you're the one who saved

"Right, but you're the one who saved"

Superstore

the life of a war hero's dog.

"the life of a war hero's dog."

Superstore

I mean, that deserves recognition.

"I mean, that deserves recognition."

Superstore

Well, hold on.

"Well, hold on."

Superstore

I think you mean allegedly saved a life

"I think you mean allegedly saved a life"

Superstore

- of an alleged dog. - It was definitely a dog.

"- of an alleged dog. - It was definitely a dog."

Superstore

And who knows if that guy was even a real war hero.

"And who knows if that guy was even a real war hero."

Superstore

Maybe he was one of those veterans

"Maybe he was one of those veterans"

Superstore

that, you know, shot up a village of innocent people.

"that, you know, shot up a village of innocent people."

Superstore

Lot of folks snap under the fog of war.

"Lot of folks snap under the fog of war."

Superstore

What are you doing?

"What are you doing?"

Superstore

Um, well... I'm not sure how...

"Um, well... I'm not sure how..."

Superstore

Garrett just called you a bad name,

"Garrett just called you a bad name,"

Superstore

and now he's giving you the finger

"and now he's giving you the finger"

Superstore

Attention, Cloud 9 employees,

"Attention, Cloud 9 employees,"

Superstore

I am now accepting recommendations

"I am now accepting recommendations"

Superstore

for the Integrity Award,

"for the Integrity Award,"

Superstore

not because I care, but largely out of spite.

"not because I care, but largely out of spite."

Superstore

Hey, uh, so I'm not exactly sure what this means,

"Hey, uh, so I'm not exactly sure what this means,"

Superstore

but your mom said, "You better come down.

"but your mom said, "You better come down."

Superstore

You're not too big to get the chancla"?

"You're not too big to get the chancla"?"

Superstore

She's threatening to throw her sandal at me.

"She's threatening to throw her sandal at me."

Superstore

Why? Did she have it out?

"Why? Did she have it out?"

Superstore

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