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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Smoking Jacket (S05E05)

"- Really? - It's a roselli."
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"- Uh-huh. - One of a kind."
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"- You know what? - Hmm?"
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"I got it right out in the car."
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"- Well, I'd like to see it. - Would you?"
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"- Sure. - Can I go get it?"
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"- Sure. - Then stay right here."
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"I'll go get the smoking jacket. Stay right here."
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"Hey."
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"What?"
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"You ruined my wish."
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"It could have been a coincidence."
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"They ran away from you, Larry."
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"Well, it was obviously something about you that made them do that."
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"- Do me a favor, hand me that jacket. - Why?"
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"Come on, hand me the jacket."
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"- No. - What?"
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"- No. - What's the matter with you?"
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"- Just get in the car, come on. - Huh?"
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"- I wanna go. - Look, you little shit..."
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"- what the... give me that jacket! - No!"
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"Hey."
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"I didn't knock. I figured you knew I was going out..."
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"- I could just come in... - Sure."
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"So I took that Liberty. I hope it's okay."
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"What do you think? Huh?"
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"- I'm amazed. - It's the same thing."
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"Well, it's not a roselli but it's a great knock-off."
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"- Really? - Yeah, let me try it on."
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"There you go."
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"( Chuckles ) it even fits."
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"Wait till my father hears that Hugh Hefner"
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"was trying on his smoking jacket."
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"- Bridget: It looks good. - Holly: Yeah."
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"Let me look at it in the mirror."
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"Where do you live?"
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"In Los Angeles."
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"Yeah."
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"I noticed they got some..."
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"- What, they got some monkeys out there, huh? - Yeah."
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"You don't got much pockets in there, huh?"
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"I couldn't live without pockets."
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"They're monkeys, they'll attack you. They'll claw you to death."
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"Are you saying I have dirty feet?"
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"- And you are? - Holly."
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"Maybe we should go bowling sometime?"
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"Bridget: Maybe."
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"I don't think you want to go bowling with me."
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"Let's pretend to be ventriloquists, okay?"
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"Remarkable. They do impressive work in Korea."
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"You're wanted at the grotto now, baby."
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"- Ah. Excuse me. - Holly: See you later."
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"- Larry: Bye. - Hefner: Bye bye."
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"You didn't think that I would mind"
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"There's no nude women. They covered all up when they saw me."
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"You have no idea how hard I've been working on your birthday present."
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"- which you threw out. - I-I'm sorry."
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"And I finally got it back."
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"I have arranged for you to have lunch"
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"and play a round of golf with Gary player."
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"- Gary player? - Yes, because he's a huge "Seinfeld" fan,"
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"- What are you doing? No, no, no! - I'm going to rip it up..."
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"Wait, wait."
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"- No, I don't think you deserve this. - Oh, my god."
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"But what can I say?"
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"I knew you were already mad at me for the magazine, okay?"
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"So I figured, I might as well go to the mansion,"
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"- so one apology would cover both of them. - That was your logic?"
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"He knows he's getting sent to the doghouse,"
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"and he was your favorite. You liked him more than Palmer..."
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"- You remembered that? - I remembered that."
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"Andy: Okay, watch the step."
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"- Cheryl: Hi. - Larry: Hey!"
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"Pop-sicola."
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"Hey, you know what I did last night?"
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"- I had a date. - The playmate?"
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"You betcha. Bobbi sue."
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"- It's going great. She's terrific. - Cheryl: Fantastic."
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"- Andy: I know, huh? - How about your nephew over here, huh?"
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"Eh, I don't like it there so much. You know."
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"They steal from me. I am telling you something, Larry."
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"- They're stealing from me. - They're stealing?"
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"You know my beautiful jacket, my smoking jacket?"
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"With the red and the..."
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"Yeah, sure. Your smoking jacket."
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"- They took it. - Andy: No, no, no."
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"- They took my smoking jacket. - Uncle nat, no, no. You sent it to me."
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"You actually probably meant to send it to me for my birthday."
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"No, you sent it to me because my name was on the package."
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"All right, hold on."
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"What?"
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"What's that?"
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"This is not my smoking jacket."
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"Take a look at the seams here. It's a shmata, man."
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"It's not my... this is a knock-off of my jacket."
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"What? - How did you get a hold of this dreck?"
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"It's a cheap, cheap imitation."
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"This is not a roselli?"
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"This is not a roselli. How did you get it?"
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"( Mutters ) holy shit."
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"All right. I'll get your jacket back."
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"- All right. - Hugh Hefner. He's got my jacket."
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"Sorry for bothering you but..."
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"The other day when I was here, I mistakenly"
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"took the wrong smoking jacket and..."
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"I'm sorry, this is your smoking jacket. That one's actually my father's."
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"I apologize."
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"That's the knock-off. That's my father's."
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"I can tell the difference. That's the knock-off."
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"Well, here. Maybe you should take another look at it."
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"- I'm sorry. - That's my father's jacket."
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"Who's waiting for you upstairs?"
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"( Beeps slowly )"
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"Has he gotten any worse?"
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"I have to tell you that I'm quite impressed with your dedication..."
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"- Really? - To visiting this patient."
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"That's very nice of you though."
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"Yes."
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"Well, it's pretty simple. There's no heartbeat,"
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"no brain activity, and if anything happens..."
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