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Clips from Family Guy - Bri-Da (S18E18)

"This sucks. I don't want to be here."
Family Guy
"Come on, Glenn. If I'm gonna be dating your mom,"
Family Guy
"it's important that we spend some time together."
Family Guy
"Hi, we have two guest passes from a museum member, Ida Davis."
Family Guy
"I'm not seeing an "Ida Davis.""
Family Guy
"(quietly): Uh, try "Dan Quagmire.""
Family Guy
"-"Lieutenant Dan Quagmire." -Ah, the lieutenant."
Family Guy
"And how's he doing? Still have his penis?"
Family Guy
"No, he doesn't."
Family Guy
"And that's a weird question to ask."
Family Guy
"I'm a weird guy, I work at a museum."
Family Guy
"See? It's not so bad."
Family Guy
"It's like Night at the Museum in here."
Family Guy
"-How? -Well, you know,"
Family Guy
"like, the guys are gonna come to life."
Family Guy
"-Like, who? -Um, the guys, you know?"
Family Guy
"When it's, when it's nighttime."
Family Guy
"-You didn't see the movie, did you? -No."
Family Guy
"Why did you bring up a reference to something"
Family Guy
"you know nothing about?"
Family Guy
"I-- it just, it reminded me of, uh..."
Family Guy
"Brian, don't bring up a reference to someone"
Family Guy
"whose favorite movie it is,"
Family Guy
"because you'll just embarrass yourself."
Family Guy
"this is a science museum."
Family Guy
"You think this moon rock is gonna walk across the room"
Family Guy
"and riff brilliantly like Robin Williams"
Family Guy
"playing Teddy Roosevelt, God rest both their souls?"
Family Guy
"Be very, very careful treading around Night at the Museum."
Family Guy
"Okay, let's get this game started."
Family Guy
"-Do you believe it still fits? -From when?"
Family Guy
"Thank you for throwing this barbecue."
Family Guy
"It's so good for the boys to spend real time together."
Family Guy
"Okay, let's play. Kids versus the parents."
Family Guy
"All right, we're gonna destroy those kids."
Family Guy
"Uhp, someone's on the wrong team."
Family Guy
"Your time will come, trust me."
Family Guy
"I'm older than the adults. I'm older than all of you!"
Family Guy
"It seems like that sometimes, I bet."
Family Guy
"-Get down there, champ. -(sighs)"
Family Guy
"All right, as the one adult on a team full of children,"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna act good-natured"
Family Guy
"while being subtly furious at all your mistakes."
Family Guy
"Okay? Break on three."
Family Guy
"One, two, three..."
Family Guy
"-Break! -Football!"
Family Guy
"Let's focus, Chris. Can we just focus for a minute?"
Family Guy
"Okay, I'm gonna call the plays"
Family Guy
"while I'm covering my mouth with this play card."
Family Guy
"Peter, that's not a play card, it's a Denny's menu."
Family Guy
"Let's run Moons Over My Hammy on three."
Family Guy
"Hey, guys? Gonna need your help over here."
Family Guy
"They got a real All-American at QB."
Family Guy
"Down. Hut! Hut!"
Family Guy
"Way to hut!"
Family Guy
"Shut up. Stop complimenting things that don't need it."
Family Guy
"Hike!"
Family Guy
"Uh-oh, look who's on the loose."
Family Guy
"Yeah! Six points, bitches."
Family Guy
"(chuckles): Whoa, that was some great move, buddy."
Family Guy
"-(dings) -Aw."
Family Guy
"Did you see and hear the wink?"
Family Guy
"That means he did it on purpose."
Family Guy
"No, no, way. He did it all by himself."
Family Guy
"(dings)"
Family Guy
"What're you talking about? I beat him."
Family Guy
"I wish I had a dad like that."
Family Guy
"Me, too, bud."
Family Guy
"Brian, you're very sweet to do that."
Family Guy
"To do what? I'm the one who scored the touchdown."
Family Guy
"-You sure did, Glenn. -He's not my dad!"
Family Guy
"I already have a dad, and it's my mom! All right, Brian?"
Family Guy
"Stop trying to be my dad, you fraud."
Family Guy
"No, I'm not gonna calm down. I can't take this anymore."
Family Guy
"Listen, Dad, the first time you hooked up with Brian,"
Family Guy
"it was awful, I hated it."
Family Guy
"But you were confused, you'd just gone through a huge change,"
Family Guy
"you didn't know if you had any options, so you settled."
Family Guy
"But you're a beautiful, intelligent woman."
Family Guy
"And now you've had time to adjust and your choice is Brian?"
Family Guy
"Why in God almighty would you choose him?"
Family Guy
""Because I love him," a resolved Ida said."
Family Guy
"You're also a pompous, pretentious,"
Family Guy
"hypocritical blowhard."
Family Guy
"-Who attended Brown. -For one semester."
Family Guy
"-You went to Brown? -For two months."
Family Guy
"See? See, that's what I mean."
Family Guy
"His whole life is a lie."
Family Guy
"I can't take this anymore. It's either him or me."
Family Guy
"-I choose Brian... -Yes."
Family Guy
"...to talk to first."
Family Guy
"Brian, I've loved every minute that we've spent together."
Family Guy
"I never thought I'd meet someone"
Family Guy
"who I connected with on so many levels,"
Family Guy
"-much less an Ivy Leaguer. -Come on..."
Family Guy
"-But Ida... -He's my son."
Family Guy
"I've made my decision."
Family Guy
"Bye-bye, Brian. You're history."
Family Guy
"And this time, history's not coming back to life."
Family Guy
"Night at the Museum."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, Brian."
Family Guy
"I'll never forget what we had together."
Family Guy
"I see Peter coming with some kind of problem from the game."
Family Guy
"(crying): Quagmire, we agreed that it was a two-hand touch,"
Family Guy
"and then Chris hit me with one hand,"
Family Guy
"and I said that didn't count,"
Family Guy
"but he still wouldn't count the touchdown."
Family Guy
"So I drilled him in the head with the ball,"
Family Guy
"and now he's not moving."
Family Guy
"He can blink his eyes, but nothing else."
Family Guy
"-So, is my dog still your dad? -Uh, no."
Family Guy
"Chris, he said the touchdown counts!"
Family Guy
"(characters shouting over TV)"
Family Guy
"(both laughing)"
Family Guy
"Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH"
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: Only on Fox."
Family Guy
"¶ Laugh and cry ¶"
Family Guy
"into a mud pit"
Family Guy
"and if you are, get that shirt off!"
Family Guy
"and smoke a cigarette with her."
Family Guy
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