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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Gary Blauman (S09E09)

"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"Those seem like two things that do not fuse."
How I Met Your Mother
"How are you? Oh, duh."
How I Met Your Mother
"Shh."
How I Met Your Mother
"...small-town Minnesotans next to liberal New Yorkers with grace and aplomb."
How I Met Your Mother
"Grandma sitting next to the band, divorced couples one table away from each other?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't believe you have this book."
How I Met Your Mother
"I just finished reading it. Teddy Roosevelt was the coolest guy ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"It was a stroke of luck on par with the 50-page manuscript in Roosevelt's pocket..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Is that the Teddy Roosevelt biography? Coolest guy ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"- So cool. - Uh..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Dude, come on. I gave you one."
How I Met Your Mother
"ALL: The archetype of the modern politician. Ha-ha-ha."
How I Met Your Mother
"STEPH: Oh, my God. TED: Dude, knock it off."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: The hell you are. My name is Ted."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ALL LAUGH]"
How I Met Your Mother
"So let's just tell Robin this can't be done and send Gary Blauman packing."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Did you just say "Gary Blauman"? - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"What? He's the devil."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Sugar Ray's "Fly." - You know it."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: Neither of us was gonna back down."
How I Met Your Mother
"So finally we decided to take it to the groom."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, he's gone."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's just too soon for me to be dating. I think I should head home."
How I Met Your Mother
"...Iove that we have the opportunity..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...oh, God, it makes me furious to this day."
How I Met Your Mother
"He was not "good, thanks" at all."
How I Met Your Mother
"...that day Blauman took..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Mm, mm. Mm."
How I Met Your Mother
"You don't take a man's accidental curly."
How I Met Your Mother
"I just met him earlier today."
How I Met Your Mother
"He has all six of my collections."
How I Met Your Mother
"...hate..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...that I once thought I loved Gary Blauman. - Ooh, this sounds good."
How I Met Your Mother
"...and now the kids are from a broken home."
How I Met Your Mother
"Wait, wait, wait. Blauman's gay?"
How I Met Your Mother
"And the prize was this guy."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ALL SHOUTING]"
How I Met Your Mother
"I can't go higher than 10."
How I Met Your Mother
"What? But that's not even my move."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Well, good night. - Good night."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: And that's how it goes, kids."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, not that Val Kilmer. She narrowly avoided prison time..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Ranjit made a couple really good stock picks, and, well, he owns the limo service now."
How I Met Your Mother
"WOMAN [OVER PHONE]: Sometimes I just feel like he never listens to me."
How I Met Your Mother
"Gosh, caller, that's a real pickle. You know, my grandma always says..."
How I Met Your Mother
"WOMAN: Damn it, Patrice, I'm not finished!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Sorry, sorry, go on."
How I Met Your Mother
"... to win the American Humanities Medal for Literature."
How I Met Your Mother
"[YELLS]"
How I Met Your Mother
"He met a girl at work, and it was love at first sight."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: I'm not sure what happened to Blah-Blah."
How I Met Your Mother
"[IN RUSSIAN]"
How I Met Your Mother
"It took some doing, but James finally convinced Tom to take him back."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: Hi. - Hi."
How I Met Your Mother
"So I thought we'd try this new restaurant around the corner."
How I Met Your Mother
"It's Scottish-Mexican fusion."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Scottish-Mexican fusion? - Scottish-Mexican fusion."
How I Met Your Mother
"Perhaps you'll change your mind when you try their signature haggis enchiladas."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Ha, ha. Okay. Lead the way. - All right. Yeah. Come on."
How I Met Your Mother
"I was surprised when you called."
How I Met Your Mother
"Isn't there some universal guy rule to wait four days to call a girl?"
How I Met Your Mother
"That does not ring a bell. And it's three days."
How I Met Your Mother
"[CHUCKLES]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Here we are."
How I Met Your Mother
"[BAND PLAYING "MEXICAN HAT DANCE"]"
How I Met Your Mother
"Uh, I did not realize there would be live music."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, uh, should we...?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Eat anywhere but here? Yeah. - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yeah. I'm sure we can find a place... - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother
"...where we don't need reservations. - You think it's easy?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Stroll in off the street and get a meal?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, let me tell you the tale of Gary Blauman."
How I Met Your Mother
"There's the blushing bride."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh. - Mwah."
How I Met Your Mother
"Gary Blauman."
How I Met Your Mother
"Like I need to ask. You're getting married."
How I Met Your Mother
"Don't let me keep you. You have things to do. I'll see you walking down the aisle."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'll be the guy in the eighth row going like this:"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Ha, ha. Right? ROBIN: Right."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Ah, good luck today. Okay. - Thank you. Ha, ha."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Why the code red?"
How I Met Your Mother
"If it's about your hair, I didn't even notice. Especially not from the back."
How I Met Your Mother
"- What? - Nothing."
How I Met Your Mother
"Gary Blauman's here. I had no idea he was coming. His reply card got lost."
How I Met Your Mother
"Where's he gonna sit? It took us weeks to plan the seating chart."
How I Met Your Mother
"Robin."
How I Met Your Mother
"- I got you. - Huh?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You're talking to the seating-chart master. At my wedding, I managed to sit..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Table 27 still gets together once a year for a reunion."
How I Met Your Mother
"Perhaps you've seen their photos on Facebook?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[DOOR OPENS]"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Hey. - Code red!"
How I Met Your Mother
"No coherent singles table? This is the Robin's hair of seating charts."
How I Met Your Mother
"Singles tables are cruel. What if you went to a wedding with a table of fat guys?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- That'd be awesome. - It would."
How I Met Your Mother
"Let's crack this Blauman nut, then work on the fat-guy table."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Wait. Did you say "Gary Blauman"? - Yeah, why?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Remember a few years ago I read that biography of Teddy Roosevelt?"
How I Met Your Mother
"For weeks after I read it, I only wanted to talk about one thing."
How I Met Your Mother
"Teddy Roosevelt was the coolest guy ever."
How I Met Your Mother
"[ALL GROAN]"
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't like the person you become when you read."
How I Met Your Mother
"Here's the deal: You get to tell us one more interesting fact about Teddy Roosevelt."
How I Met Your Mother
"One more, and then you're done forever. So make it a good one."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"He went blind in one eye..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...from getting hit too hard in a boxing match..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...while he was president."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Wow. - That's a pretty good one."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Right? Oh, and when he was at Harvard... - Shut up!"
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: Well, one night, we were throwing a party to celebrate something..."
How I Met Your Mother
"... I can't remember what, when a pretty girl noticed the book on the table."
How I Met Your Mother
"A unicorn."
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: I couldn't believe it."
How I Met Your Mother
"... that slowed that would-be assassin's bullet."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Dude, come on. - Sorry. Anyway, enter Gary Blauman."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Right? Right? - Right? Right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Right? Right? - Right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"TED: The three of us started talking Teddy Roosevelt."
How I Met Your Mother
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