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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - Boy II Man (S02E02)

"Why are Americans so obsessed"
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"I have no children friends."
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"- Okay, sure, but don't... - Look, your job isn't to be buddy-buddy."
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"even if she doesn't like it."
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"Oh, but Marvin and I did meet playing twister."
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"you have to think several moves ahead."
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"Like how Eddie doesn't want to learn piccolo"
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"go unclaimed every year at colleges!"
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"That may work with Eddie, but Nicole's a teenager now,"
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"so I can't just force her to do what I want."
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"Children are the pawns, and you are the queen."
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"And as the queen,"
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"you control all the other pieces on the board."
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"Then the king just stands around and takes credit for your work."
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"I could do this all day."
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"Ah, would you look at that, huh?"
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"That's what I see every time I look at Nicole."
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"No matter how old she gets,"
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"Must be nice."
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"She probably still hugs you."
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"I have always wondered what it would be like."
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"Just because she's married"
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"doesn't mean she can get fat."
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"So magical."
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"I can't believe I've got to go to tutoring."
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"At least you don't have to go to piccolo."
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"Why do I have to learn instruments?"
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"That's all I have so far."
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"Afternoon, Nicole."
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"Ooh, this must be your tutor."
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"Normally, the older students tutor the younger ones,"
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"but you're obviously the exception."
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"My wife's Asian, so I get it."
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"- Tutor?! No, I... - Yes!"
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"Uh, Eddie's my tutor. Just one second."
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"Tutor?! I can't teach!"
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"I can educate sucka MCs, but that's not the same!"
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"This way, you and me can just hang out all period"
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"and, like, listen to music and stuff."
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"Yeah."
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"My mom will love that I'm tutoring."
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"How can you not love tutoring?!"
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"Because it's one step away from teacher,"
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"which is one missed paycheck away"
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"from homeless man with dirty dog and socks for gloves."
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"That doesn't even make any sense."
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"Because you said so!"
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"You better not be going into the kitchen to eat ravioli!"
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"But you don't even know what I'm asking."
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"You called me "sweetie," so you probably want something extravagant"
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"like a boat or a new party shirt."
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"Let's have another baby... a girl one!"
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"Are you crazy?! Shop is closed!"
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"A daughter?"
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"- I have horrible news. - Grandma finally caught that bird?"
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"Worse. Dad wants a daughter."
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"We'd have to move in with Eddie."
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"But only until he goes to college."
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"- Eddie in college?! - It just came out!"
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"It just came out!"
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"And I didn't give her any!"
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"Good, because you are the queen."
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"You tell her "no.""
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"Uh, well..."
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"Honey! Where's your purse?!"
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"Can't hear you! I'm in the shower!"
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"But I didn't give her any money."
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"Okay, well, it's a start."
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"I give you a c-minus."
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"Learning to be a good parent takes time."
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"Speaking of learning,"
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"Eddie who?"
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"Jessica! You joke machine!"
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"Your son has been tutoring her every day this week."
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"Another master chess move by you."
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"Getting Eddie to study more..."
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"You really are the queen."
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"Wait, how did you know?!"
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"I know everything!"
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"You're going to ride that metal mouth tube"
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"I said "no.""
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"Tutoring is the one chance I get"
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"to hang out with Nicole alone."
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"I'm not switching."
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"Yes, you are."
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"I will call the school and have them switch you."
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"Even if you switch me,"
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"I will breathe through my nose."
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"Your move, mom."
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"A girl."
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"The closest I ever came to defying my mother"
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"_"
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"Maybe I was too aggressive in my opening gambit..."
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"- Oh, uh, Mary Janes. - Going at him made him defensive."
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"That's what they're called."
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"- On a girl... - I need to outmaneuver him."
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"- Which we could create... - Make Eddie think he chose the piccolo."
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"- In under one minute. - Huh?"
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"Your father does not want another baby, Evan."
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"He seems pretty serious about it."
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"Trust me, he just thinks he does."
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"- Mm. - I'm sure it's hormones."
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"It's probably just his time of the month..."
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"You know, when the mortgage is due. Mm-hmm."
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"Just get him a puppy..."
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"I just bought him a drill."
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"So, you must be Eddie's mother, or "mu-chin," yes?"
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"My wife's from Asia, so, I, uh..."
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"I would like you to give Eddie more tutoring students, please."
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"so while I'm sure Eddie excels in all subjects"
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"A-a-and likely a stringed instrument..."
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"my wife plays viola..."
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"uh, I just can't assign him more than one student."
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"For white students."
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"As the husband of an Asian wife,"
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"I'm sure you're familiar with the tale of Zong Dingbo."
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"Oh, yeah. Zong Din... yes."
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"It would be like asking Zong Dingbo"
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"to carry the ghost only halfway into the town."
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"Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I see what you mean. Yeah, yeah."
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