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Clips from Arrested Development - Fakin' It (S03E03)

"We're doing a tech rehearsal for my new show... Judge Reinhold."
Arrested Development
"- It's a reality courtroom show. - You know that there's an actor by that name, right?"
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"This is what they put me in. Why did I lose all the weight..."
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"if they're gonna put me in a pool cover?"
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"- I'm sorry. Are you an actual judge? - No. That's just a coincidence."
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"I read somewhere Judge Judy made $25 million last year."
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"I'm, like, hey, I never even heard of the guy."
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"So you just... You're doin' this because your name is Judge?"
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"Honestly, this is the first time I put those two things together."
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"and go with my original title: Mr. Reinhold's Courtroom."
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"No, no, no. We're changin' the name."
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"My name is Judge."
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"- Hear you wanna do a mock trial. - Mmm."
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"'Cause I'm looking for Judge Reinhold to have a little practice too."
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"- Uh-huh. - I'll be acting as the prosecutor."
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"That way, I can see how your family holds up."
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"Families that do well are the ones that stick together."
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"Well, that's-that's us."
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"Um, we are going to need a defense attorney, right, for the mock trial?"
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"- And that's not gonna be cheap. - You know the case. Why not you?"
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"I'll-I'll-I'll show him. I'll make a fool out of him..."
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"while sticking together."
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"- Excuse me one minute. - And that's when Michael found out..."
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"his brother Buster was in a coma."
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"- What happened? How is he? - We're waiting for the doctor."
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"and when it's over he wakes up and gets a big toy."
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"Did you put one of your sons into a coma so that he can't testify?"
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"Michael, how dare you! Of course, it crossed my mind, but this was all Buster."
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"- He got into your brother's pills. - Not the Forget-Me-Nows?"
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"My mother's been in that bed for two years."
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"Oh, how awful! We don't have a private room."
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"They won't let me take out her feeding tube. And I'm lucky."
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"I have the resources to pay for these medical bills."
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"You have resources?"
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"- What good is my money if I can't bring her back? - But you can't."
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"Money should be spent on dating. Is that what you were gonna say?"
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"- Let's go ahead and wait outside. - So, you come here often?"
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"Cute button."
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"- How is he? - We're still waitin' to find out."
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"- Looks a little bit more like Red Prawn, Dad. - It's the shrimp fest."
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"Oh, the shrimp."
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"Do you realize Buster's probably in this state because of you and Mom?"
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"He's obviously afraid of what he knows, and he's just trying to forget."
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"Does he know who N. Bluth is?"
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"I am going to be pretending to be your attorney..."
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"You're the lawyer? That's the same representation Captain Hook had."
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"- Oh, it feels good. - It does."
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"They say seven minutes heals all wounds."
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"Wait. Not the Judge Reinhold show from all those magazine ads?"
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"- They're all over the place. Look at this. - My name is Judge."
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"I didn't even know that this kind of technology existed."
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"I could use this in my ventriloquism act."
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"There a bar here?"
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"Well, Buster's in what we call a light-to-no coma."
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"In layman's terms, it might be considered a very heavy nap."
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"Although, there doesn't seem to be very much brain activity."
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"- No. That's him. - I think it's very important we remember he's fully insured."
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"- I say we see how this plays out. - Absolutely."
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"We're gonna be here every day."
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"I don't care if it takes from now till the end of shrimp fest."
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"- Or there's a mall across the street. - Oh, you want excitement?"
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"Well, we have a group of young people..."
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"who put on fake weddings for our Alzheimer's patients."
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"- Would I have to touch the old people? - Only their hearts."
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"You could be a groom. Bring a little girlfriend up there with you."
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"- I don't have a girlfriend. - Sister then, or a cousin."
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"Of course, you're gonna have to kiss."
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"Guess who liked that idea?"
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"He says he doesn't wanna do it. I'm actually trying to respect his choices lately."
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"Great. I was just... Well, don't answer for... I, um..."
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"Yeah, 'cause I know exactly the cousin. I mean, the girl."
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"I would want to give, and she'll wanna give too."
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"It's a great day..."
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"for being sad."
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"And later, Michael was preparing for his case."
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"I mean, it's just a picket for them to pull the plug on our loved ones."
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"Listen, I know Buster. I know what he wants."
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"Oh, I love soup."
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"I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube."
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"That would actually be better, 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth."
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"Yeah, he wants out. Anyway, you and I both know he's probably just faking."
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"- Busy? - Actually, I'm..."
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"Check this out. My lips don't move. You'll call me up to the stand."
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"Say something like, "Who is this little friend?" And he'll say:"
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"- My name is Judge. - Whose name is Judge?"
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"- My name is... - Okay. - That's a silly name."
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"- That's enough. - Judge. My name..."
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"- Yes, I am judging your name. It am silly. - Is..."
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"- Please stop. - Now you're correcting my grammar?"
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"Gob, not gonna put Franklin on the stand. And your lips are moving just a little bit."
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"- Judge. - He's right. His name is Judge now."
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"You know, I think Dad might actually have a case here."
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"I mean, I am concerned about this N. Bluth."
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"But if it is indeed just a ploy on their part, then the only bombshell they've got..."
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"is a blueprint of an Iraqi model home..."
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"the same blueprint as ours with no record..."
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"Although, this is strange. Looks like there's a secret room in this one off the hallway."
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"I wonder if we've got that. I'm gonna go check that out."
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"- Okay, and we're gonna go back to the hospital. - Yeah, good. Check on Buster."
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"We do need to stick together as a family on this."
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"Actually, gonna go swipe some more talking magazines, but I'll make sure to poke the head in."
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"Bye."
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"And Michael found that there was indeed a secret room..."
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"where his father had stored the family mementoes, including his birth certificate."
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""Nichael Bluth"?"
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"Am I N. Bluth?"
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"Nichael was worried."
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"where all the family secrets were stored."
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"- Huh. - That's what it says according to my birth certificate."
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"- All of our family records are up here. - Hmm."
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"And for some reason, this stack of bodybuilding magazines."
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"Well, I guess your dad must've had these from way back when, huh?"
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"- My name is... - That seems kind of current."
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"Oh! Who am I trying to kid, Michael?"
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"I was trying to beef up to impress that wife of mine."
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"But now she's after some rich guy who's trying to kill his mom."
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"I gotta go talk to my dad. You comin' out?"
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"No. No, I have to fight for my wife."
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"I'm gonna keep my marriage alive."
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"One room over, George Michael..."
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