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Clips from Rick and Morty - A Rickle in Time (S02E02)

"All right, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities,"
Rick and Morty
"and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this,"
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"- How do you know... - How do you know that..."
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"Whatever your asking me, the answer is I'm amazing."
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"- Ow, ow, ow! - Oh [bleep]."
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"What the hell is wrong with you two?"
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"I-I-I-I mean you four!"
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"That hurt! That was painful."
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"I saw you. Y-you're both all over the damn place."
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"And now Summer's doing it... and now you got Summer to kiss your ass."
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"Me?! What about you? You're just as mean to me because you're jealous..."
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"All right, all right, cool it. I see what's happening here."
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"I can fix this. Morty, sit here."
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"Summer, you sit here. Now, listen."
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"I know the two of you are very different"
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"from each other in a lot of ways,"
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"I can prove it mathematically."
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"Actually, let me grab my white board."
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"This has been a long time coming, anyway."
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"Emergency! Wounded deer coming in."
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"Excuse me, you can't be back here."
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"I'm a certified horse surgeon,"
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"and this deer needs medical attention."
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"- Nurse, please move that snake. - That's my nurse."
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"And as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know"
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"that deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs."
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"As a vet, I'm sure you know that a deer"
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"is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor."
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"So let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out."
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"- It's time to save a life! - Geez."
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"That's odd. This deer's wounded."
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"Uh, yeah, I was there. You don't have to rub it in."
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"No, but you can stop helping this deer."
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"I shot it before these two hit it with their car,"
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"and I followed them when they hauled it off."
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"This deer belongs to me."
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"We don't have time for this, okay?"
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"but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm."
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"Except when sterilizing, aborting, or euthanizing them,"
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"I hope for all our sakes you're as bad a surgeon as I am a hunter."
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"In your dreams, bitch. Scalpel."
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"So, in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial,"
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"overly sensitive, clingy, hysterical, bird-brained homunculi."
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"because I don't go by height or age,"
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"I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical."
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"All right, everything resolved?"
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"Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world."
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"- Yes. - Yes."
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"All right, perfect. Sit still."
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"Arms down. I'm gonna do this again."
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"This time be like grandpa."
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"You mean drunk?"
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"What's that? You got something to say?"
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"- No. - And away we go!"
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"And away we go!"
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"- Huh, that's weird. - Huh, that's weird."
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"- Oh, my God. - What?"
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"- The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! - What?!"
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"- The son of a bitch is gonna kill me! - What?!"
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"- Don't you get it?! - Don't you get it?!"
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"The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore."
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"He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me."
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"He probably figures it's easier"
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"to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them."
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"it was always in the back of my mind, too."
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"The difference is I would never do it, until now."
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"After he takes me out, he's... He's gonna be coming for you."
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"- Who? - Me!"
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"Aah!"
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"Oh, God, now there's three of them."
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"Wait, don't... don't do that."
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"Is this what you want, you sick [bleep]?!"
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"You don't stop living until I say so!"
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"- Who's this now? - My lawyer."
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"any deer shot by a hunter"
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"It's called Brad's law."
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"but at this point, you're performing it on venison."
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"All this fear and conflict... I'm sure it's ruined the meat."
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"I'm just gonna use the head for my rec-room wall."
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"She normally works on horses."
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"Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the [bleep] out of here."
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"Jesus."
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"I know where you are, you creepy old monster."
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"I know how you think."
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"You think I'm standing here?"
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"Holy [bleep] now what?"
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"and you peed in all of your pants,"
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"doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized?"
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"What did you guys do?"
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"We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy"
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"and you caused another time fracture."
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"Myself tried to kill me first."
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"Guys, I don't expect you to understand this,"
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"but time breaking twice means our problem is"
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"Well, actually, I do expect you to understand that."
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"If I die in a cage, I lose a bet."
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"- Give me the time crystal. - Wh-what are you doing?"
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"Calling myself. Here, listen."
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"It'll probably go to voice-mail"
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"- Hello, Rick here. - Don't fall for it. It's a bit."
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"Hey, Rick. It's Rick."
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"Whoa, damn! Look at this."
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"I'm blowing up... Three new voicemails."
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"Listen, I'm sorry about earlier."
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"Hey, Rick. It's Rick."
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"Okay, well, we're still not gonna let you out of this crate."
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"Fine. I'll just do it myself."
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"If you could get out that whole time, why didn't you?"
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"Because I waited until I was certain"
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"I'm certain, and you're"
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"a walking burlap sack filled with turds."
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"You know, geez, Rick!"
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"Y-y-you're really tearing into me right now."
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"Quit yelling. What the [bleep]"
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"Your time is all ripped up to hell!"
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"Shut the [bleep] up. Oh, damn."
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"Oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could"
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"How you think you gonna move time"
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"while you're standing in it,"
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"you dumb-ass three-dimensional monkey-ass dummies?"
Rick and Morty
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