Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - How to Be an American (S03E03)

"No bigs."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Where'd I put the keys?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Okay, after teaching didn't work out,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"it says your next application"
Fresh Off the Boat
"was for an Extraordinary Ability Visa."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Yes, that's right."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I was sitting with my college roommate, Honey..."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Wait, I thought Honey was a teacher at the school you... oh."
Fresh Off the Boat
"White people all the same. Got it."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Jessica, I am so sorry the teaching thing didn't work out."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Why should I waste my talent and my work ethic"
Fresh Off the Boat
"when really I should have..."
Fresh Off the Boat
"an Extraordinary Ability Visa."
Fresh Off the Boat
""For someone who possesses superior talents"
Fresh Off the Boat
"that enrich our nation.""
Fresh Off the Boat
"What kind of superior talents do you have?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"What kind don't I have?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Acting, singing, puppeteering."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Your shrimp po' boys."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Yes. Then it wasn't shrimp, it was octopus."
Fresh Off the Boat
"No, it was shrimp. No, it was octopus."
Fresh Off the Boat
"It was the night we met. I wouldn't forget."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You know what, I am so sick and tired"
Fresh Off the Boat
"of men always changing a woman's narrative,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"just like Joan of Arc."
Fresh Off the Boat
"What does Joan of Arc have..."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Jessica, they were octopus"
Fresh Off the Boat
"because that's why we both got food poisoning"
Fresh Off the Boat
"and met in the bathroom line,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"and I know for a fact that it was octopus"
Fresh Off the Boat
"because Olivia Yang had just dumped me that morning"
Fresh Off the Boat
"and she was allergic to octopus, so I never got to eat octopus,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"so my friend Barry took me out to get octopus."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You told me Olivia Yang was your girlfriend in Taiwan."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You dated her here in America"
Fresh Off the Boat
"We'll set the car on fire and blame it on vandals."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Or even better... Hobos!"
Fresh Off the Boat
"You know Mom hates hobos. She's always saying that."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I think we should just run away and find a new family."
Fresh Off the Boat
"If we split up, we'll have a better chance of being adopted."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Or we can call AAA to come and unlock the car."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Evan, I know we've had our differences in the past,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"but you're the real MVP."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Do I get a trophy?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"No. You get this."
Fresh Off the Boat
"This moment right here."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I'll take it."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Now who's keeping secrets?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"All those years,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"you said you fell in love with me at first sight."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I did! I wasn't lying."
Fresh Off the Boat
"with Olivia Yang falling out of love with me."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"I was worried it would scare you off."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Why? Because she dumped you?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"And I'm a dumped man's rebound bride."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Jessica, if you're just a rebound,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"I don't know, maybe that's a question for Olivia Yang!"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Okay, how's about we get back to that Extraordinary Ability Visa?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"So, I went down to the immigration office in Baltimore"
Fresh Off the Boat
"How can I help you?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Of course it is. Everybody loves Jeremy."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I am here to apply for my Extraordinary Ability Visa."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Where is your pianist?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"I will need he or she to accompany me."
Fresh Off the Boat
"- There is no pianist. - Okay. A cappella then."
Fresh Off the Boat
"♪ Listen to the wind blow ♪"
Fresh Off the Boat
"♪ Watch the sunrise ♪"
Fresh Off the Boat
"♪ Damn your love, damn your lies ♪"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Ma'am, ma'am."
Fresh Off the Boat
"That's not what we're looking for here."
Fresh Off the Boat
"No problem. I've got more."
Fresh Off the Boat
"- Oh, boy. - ♪ And if you don't love me now ♪"
Fresh Off the Boat
"♪ You will never love me again ♪"
Fresh Off the Boat
"♪ I can still hear you sayin' you would never break the ♪"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Ma'am, this isn't "Star Search.""
Fresh Off the Boat
"In order to qualify for an Extraordinary Ability Visa,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"you need to prove this is your paid profession..."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Awards, letters from noteworthy peers,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"articles written about you."
Fresh Off the Boat
"But I don't have any of those things"
Fresh Off the Boat
"and my Student Visa runs out in a week."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I have no other way of staying in this country."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I was so upset, I cried all the way back to my dorm room."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I know you've said no five times already,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"but I'm gonna keep asking."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Will you marry me?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Yes. I will marry you."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Wait."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You had just gotten rejected for your Visa"
Fresh Off the Boat
"right before you finally said yes?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Did you only agree to marry me so you could get a green card?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"Yes. Obviously, yes."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Dude."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You married me for a green card?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"It's not that big of a deal. I liked you and everything."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Liked me?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"I fell in love with you the first moment we met."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I thought our love story was one for the ages."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Now I'm finding out I was just a marriage of convenience."
Fresh Off the Boat
"What? I'm practical."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You love that about me."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I like that about you."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Thank you so much."
Fresh Off the Boat
"And thank you, sir, for your seven years of membership."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You've been a member since you were 2?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"I wanted to join earlier, but I didn't know how to talk"
Fresh Off the Boat
"and make my wishes known to Mom."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Hmm. Well, you guys are all set,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"as long as you didn't make any changes in the car."
Fresh Off the Boat
"You know, adjust the seats, change the radio presets,"
Fresh Off the Boat
"move the mirrors..."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Things the car's primary driver would notice immediately."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I see you later, boys."
Fresh Off the Boat
"99.8, Cool Jazz."
Fresh Off the Boat
"102.2, Drive Time Classic Jazz."
Fresh Off the Boat
"I've answered all your questions."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Can I please just have my citizenship?"
Fresh Off the Boat
"I'm sorry it's taking so much time, ma'am."
Fresh Off the Boat
"Evhing seems to be in order."
Fresh Off the Boat
Show more clips