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Clips from Fresh Off the Boat - How to Be an American (S03E03)

"Mrs. Huang, I need to ask you a few more questions"
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"regarding your criminal record."
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"Ean lliminal record?!"
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"There was a small misunderstanding."
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"Simple property damage a long time ago."
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"Statute of limitations have passed."
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"Here we go. Just a little stamp, stamp."
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"- Stamp. - No."
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"I'm sorry."
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"I have to know the details or I can't approve your file."
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"I'll tell you."
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"It was a hot night in Brooklyn,"
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"A trash can through the window of Sal's Pizzeria?"
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"That's from "Do the Right Thing.""
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"Yes, and that is so much worse than what I did."
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"Seriously, if we get away with this,"
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"I'm never getting behind the wheel of a car again."
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"Not even a Yukon with rims?"
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"Well, yeah. I mean, a Yukon with rims, obviously."
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"_"
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"Lavender."
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"_"
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"Apricot."
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"No. Leather."
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"No."
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"My sinuses! I can't do this."
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"_"
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"Mrs. Huang, I need to know"
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"It was just simple property damage."
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"No. I want to know what happened."
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"Fine."
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"I don't think I can ever eat octopus again."
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"Poisoning us was its last and best defense."
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"So, uh, yeah, call me. I'd love to go out sometime."
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"I'll give you my number."
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"It's 555..."
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"Um, do you want a pen or something to write this down?"
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"No, I'll remember it."
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"I just met the man I'm going to marry"
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"and I need to write down his number before I forget it."
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"But that's permanent marker."
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"Hey! You're destroying my property!"
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"Oh, please, it's just a piece of an old canoe."
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"I'm so embarrassed."
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"yet really, you fell in love with me at first sight."
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"Louis, stop saying it!"
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"why did you say no all those other times I proposed to you?"
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"Because I wanted to enter the marriage on equal footing."
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"Get my Visa situation sorted out first"
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"so that when I did say yes,"
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"you wouldn't think that I was just marrying you"
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"for a green card."
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"When I got denied that day, I didn't have a choice."
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"It was either marry you"
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"or get deporte and never see you again."
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"This right here... This is why I do the job."
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"Well, I have everything I need."
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"Jessica Huang, your application for naturalization is approved."
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"Congratulations, you two."
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"Oh, thank you!"
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"Oh, let me help."
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"Baby, let's go fill up the Accord with cheap, cheap gas."
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"Louis."
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"They gave me a pocket copy of the Constitution."
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"That you have a criminal record?"
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"Yes, and also that I... you know..."
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"Yes."
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"Okay, everyone, we're ready to begin."
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"that I will support and defend the Constitution"
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"and laws of the United States of America"
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"That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same."
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"And that I take this obligation freely, so help me God."
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"Welcome, all of you new American citizens."
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"- Which one? - The blue one."
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"Because you boys were born here."
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"and pulled us together."
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"I told him shop closed after two."
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"See? You're doing it again."
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"I don't know."
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"Actually, photography is prohibited."
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"Also, I put $1 into the meter."
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"We just need you to confirm"
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"You were a teacher."
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"Crap."
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"Oh, my God, you put me in it?"
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"about the criminal incident in your file."
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"Swear on it."
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"I, Jessica, take you, the United States of America,"
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"Fell in love with me at first sight?"
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"Even your mom was a little teary."
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"Wait, was this the night we met?"
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"We went to the same college but didn't even know it"
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"and racial tensions were boiling over."
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"And also the teacher thing. Especially the teacher thing."
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"Cheese."
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"_"
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"and Mom and Dad are out of the house?"
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"Hold that stamp!"
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"But wait, if you knew you wanted to marry me"
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"not the real people involved."
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"Oh."
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"No, it's your brother."
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"♪ Never break the chain ♪"
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