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Clips from Married with Children - Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me (S03E03)

"so how'd you get the money?"
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"I'm a Patty Brite girl."
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"I sell cosmetics in my spare time."
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"So it's a full-time job?"
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"No, but it's full-time pay."
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"Do we still have to call him "Dad"?"
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"Well, I think the check speaks for itself."
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"Dad, can you pinpoint for us"
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"the exact moment that life passed you by?"
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"Son, life didn't pass me by..."
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"Well, I still love you, Daddy."
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"I just don't have any respect for you."
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"Well, pumpkin, the feeling is mutual."
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"Aw."
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"Well, I guess when you come right down to it,"
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"all a guy has is his dog."
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"[GROWLS]"
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"what do you want to be when you grow up?"
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"YOUNG AL: President of the United States."
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"WOMAN: Then someday you will."
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"[DOORBELL RINGS]"
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"Oh, what do you want, Steve?"
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"I was about to eat and fight cavities."
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"Well, actually, I didn't hear it."
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"You sure it was paint?"
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"Or was it man blood?"
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"Aw, buck up, Al."
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"Does that make you less of a man?"
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"But, that aside, there are plenty of positives"
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"Like what, begging the wife for some extra cash?"
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"Well, if you ask her just right,"
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"you can walk away with some nice pin money."
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"I know, you give up a little--"
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"A little is all I've got."
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"I know, Al,"
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"but the important thing is,"
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"women have to work for their self-esteem."
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"I'm proud of Marcie."
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"I mean, even if we have to share the cooking duties"
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"because she's tired from work."
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"Of course, my mother worked and she cooked every day."
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"Good too."
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"But I'm happy."
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"A happy Tater-Totting, fish-sticking man."
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"Pretty pathetic, Steve."
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"Well, at least yours has a skill."
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"I mean, if Peggy could nag in sign language,"
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"How can she earn more than me?"
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"I can't..."
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"Would you like some floss with that, Steve?"
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"What I have to do"
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"is get a second job and not tell Peg."
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"and I'll get back my self-respect."
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"CAPTAIN [OVER INTERCOM]: Beam me up a burger, Bundy, warp speed."
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"People out there dying for kangaroo, huh?"
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"That's right. Tell the world, Bundy."
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"You didn't make the noise, Bundy."
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"Whoosh."
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"Hey..."
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"Oh, um, like, okay, like, old dude..."
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"we've had lots of complaints about this burger."
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"What's wrong?"
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"You tell me what's wrong."
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"Some pouch get in there?"
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"Look, there's no place at Burger Trek for a rebel, Bundy."
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"Come on, you know, we've got, like,"
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"Okay. Yeah, right. That's good."
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"Well, let's just start from the beginning, okay?"
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"What goes on a hamburger?"
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"Tomato, onion, ketchup, pickle,"
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"and a squirt of beef squeezings."
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"Okay, now, that is our special sauce, Bundy,"
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"Get with the program, Bundy."
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"You're a disgrace to the hat."
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"Aw, clean your station."
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"Marry a redhead."
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"[GROANS]"
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"You know, when I took this job,"
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"Ugh."
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"And why isn't Bundy doing this?"
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"The captain didn't think he was ready."
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"I mean, look at the poor old guy."
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"I mean, why would"
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"want to work in this dump?"
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"To meet chicks."
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"Oh, Bundy, Bundy, Bundy."
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"Whoosh!"
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"No, no, no, no. It's not that."
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"Look. You pulled another burger boner."
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"What did I do, send one out hot?"
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"No, you sent one out without onions."
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"Damn."
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"Look, Bundy,"
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"hey, I'm not a bad guy."
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"See, I'm up on the bridge,"
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"flunk out of school and become, like, a bum or a shoe salesman?"
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"Would the crewman who overflowed the toilet"
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"please report to the bridge?"
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"Here's another commission check"
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"How can she make more money"
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"Al, I made more than you losing a tooth when I was a kid."
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"Well, how would you like to make a fortune tonight, Steve?"
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"I can't believe it."
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"She can't sell more than me."
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"Her customers must be morons."
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"A list of idiots like that"
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"could really be worth a fortune"
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"to a good salesman."
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"Damn! I wish I could find that list."
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"Well, maybe there's a clue"
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"in this book that says, "Peggy's customers.""
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"Give me that, Steve. That might be it."
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"Now, get a pen, write this down."
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"Ah! Here we go."
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""Peggy Bundy,"
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"Peggy Bundy.""
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""Peggy Bundy.""
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"and get to the people"
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""Peggy Bundy,"
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""Peggy Bundy,"
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