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Clips from Workaholics - To Friend a Predator (S01E01)

"off your roof first."
Workaholics
"- I would mind if you didn't take a piss off our roof."
Workaholics
"- Oh, man."
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"Oh, yo, I had some tight-ass plans for today,"
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"but I knock on the wrong door, and I meet you fellas."
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"Dude, that's balling."
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"- Topher is the man,"
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"and he's pissing off our roof right now."
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"That is balling."
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"- Yeah, for sure. - Okay, yes."
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"It's safe to say that he's the ballingest guy"
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"we've ever met."
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"But let's not forget why he came here-"
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"to butt-ram a boy."
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"So let's focus, please."
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"- It sounds so gross when you say it that way."
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"- Yeah, I forgot he was here to do that."
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"- Gross. - Hey, you guys."
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"What do you say we take this party downtown"
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"and go to Club Damnation, huh?"
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"- I'm afraid we got some bad news, Topher."
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"- I'm in. Ders?"
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"- I just got to get my deep V-neck."
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"- Except you guys got to take off those hats."
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"- ♪ I love it when she make her booty bounce ♪"
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"♪ Bounce, b-bounce, bounce, make her booty bounce ♪"
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"- There's, like, 50 Beyoncé Knowles in here,"
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"And I like it. It's great."
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"Smells like laser tag. - Mm-hmm."
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"- Yeah, it does. That's that smell."
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"- In a good way, though. - Yeah."
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"Let me introduce you to my friends."
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"- HEY-"
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"- So where are you girls living at nowadays?"
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"- We live at the Penthouse penthouse."
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"- Oh, you do do?"
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"- I do do what?"
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"- Uh, you said, "Penthouse penthouse,""
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"so I repeated, "do do," 'cause-"
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"- Hey, bro, chill out."
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"They live in the Penthouse penthouse."
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"only this time, it's much more doper."
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"All these pretty chicks running around,"
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"if that's what you're into."
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"- Ah!"
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"- Oh, and we met Topher at one of the Penthouse parties."
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"- Oh, my God."
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"- You gonna bring them next Saturday?"
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"- Maybe if they want to come."
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"- Yeah! - For sure."
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"- I mean, we'll see. - We'll see, yeah."
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"We'll probably be a little busy."
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"we're getting into, checkin' out the-"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Are you beating my high score on Brick Breaker?"
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"Don't you dare. What?"
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"Hello. Okay, that's a number."
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"It's, uh-it's official. All right."
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"Ah!"
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"- Hey, why don't you guys meet me back at the VIP booth"
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"in, like, five minutos?"
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"That's Spanish for "minutes.""
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"- ♪ 'Cause watching you is driving me insane ♪"
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"- You're so hot. - Oh, ho, ho, ho!"
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"" Oh!"
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"Whoa, my God."
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"She just totally touched both my nipples"
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"with one hand at the same time."
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"- I like her mouth. - Chill out."
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"It's on, because I told them that you guys were coke dealers."
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"And all three of them have really bad coke problems."
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"- Appreciate it, Toph, but got to check one thing for-"
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"How mow."
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"She actually gave me her real number."
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"This is real. This is happening."
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"This is my life! This is my life!"
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"- Hey, Topher."
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"So how do you know the bouncer?"
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"- Oh, Vince?"
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"We went to middle schools together."
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"- Wait, uh, schools?"
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"- School. Middle school."
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"- Yeah, I- You said "schools.""
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"- No, I didn't. School. One school."
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"- Look, Topher, we know what the deal is."
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"Um, or should I call you bieberhole69?"
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"- Hey, ladies, you know what?"
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"Can you give us a second, please?"
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"- Wait. - No."
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"- No, you know what? They need to leave."
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"Can you please excuse us for a second?"
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"Thank you very much."
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"- I don't get you, dude."
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"You're, like, handsome as hell."
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"- Thank you."
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"- And you have just swagger for days."
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"You could get those chicks if you wanted."
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"- Okay, thank you. - You're a swagger hound."
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"You take everyone else's swagger."
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"You hound it."
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"You know? It's, like, wasted talent."
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"and just started fucking little dudes every day."
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"- I'm understanding where you're coming from."
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"You guys are not understanding where I'm coming from, okay?"
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"Because it's like,"
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"do we really need to talk about this right now?"
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"- All we're saying"
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"is that you were coming over to our house"
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"to bang a little dude."
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"- Yes."
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"I was gonna have sex with a little dude, yes."
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"- Okay, shh. Let's bring it down."
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"Music's loud, not that loud."
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"What if you just had sex with men"
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"that were of legal age?"
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"- That's a great idea. - I'm not gay, dude."
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"You're offending me."
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"- Gay? You're not gay? But you-"
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"- Okay, well, you know what I know?"
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"Maybe actually you guys aren't ready"
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