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Clips from Seinfeld - The Boyfriend: Part 1 (S03E03)

"But the big problem is gonna be the convertible sofa."
Seinfeld
"When you move it, it tends to open up..."
Seinfeld
"...so it's going to be difficult getting it downstairs."
Seinfeld
"- There's no elevator? - No, it's a brownstone. Three floors."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry, I can't do this. - What?"
Seinfeld
"I can't do it! I can't! It's too soon."
Seinfeld
"I can't help you move, I'm sorry. I can't! I just can't."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"- No. Should I? - Yeah, yeah, you should..."
Seinfeld
"...because I certainly remember you."
Seinfeld
"June 14th, 1987."
Seinfeld
"Mets-Phillies. You made a big error. Cost the Mets the game."
Seinfeld
"Then you're coming up the parking lot ramp."
Seinfeld
"You said, Nice game, pretty boy."
Seinfeld
"- You remember. - And then you spit on us."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, I didn't spit at you. - Yeah, right."
Seinfeld
"- No, no. Then who was it? - Look, the way I remember it..."
Seinfeld
"...I was walking up the ramp. I was upset about the game."
Seinfeld
"That's when you called me pretty boy."
Seinfeld
"Hey, that tick ed me off. I was turning to say something..."
Seinfeld
"...and as I turned around..."
Seinfeld
"...I saw Roger McDowell behind the bushes..."
Seinfeld
"...over by that gravelly road."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, he was talking to someone, and they were pointing at you."
Seinfeld
"I tried to scream out, but it was too late."
Seinfeld
"It was already on its way."
Seinfeld
"Maybe because we were sitting in the right-field stands..."
Seinfeld
"...cursing at him in the bullpen all game."
Seinfeld
"He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head."
Seinfeld
"- It was McDowell. - Oh, boy."
Seinfeld
"- Look, Keith, we're sorry. - Yeah, I couldn't be sorrier."
Seinfeld
"Guys, don't worry about it."
Seinfeld
"- Well, I guess I better get going. - What are you doing?"
Seinfeld
"Okay, guys. We got to be careful of one thing."
Seinfeld
"Some of the stuff is very fragile We'll have to handle it like a baby."
Seinfeld
"Hey, no sweat."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hi, Elaine. What's going on?"
Seinfeld
"No, he just left."
Seinfeld
"You broke up with him?"
Seinfeld
"What happened?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, smoking. You know, you're like going out with C. Everett Koop."
Seinfeld
"Me? No. I couldn't go through with it."
Seinfeld
"So, what are you doing now?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, great idea. Okay."
Seinfeld
"I'll meet you there in, like, 30 minutes."
Seinfeld
"Okay, bye."
Seinfeld
"- What happened? Where's Keith? - You just missed him. He just left."
Seinfeld
"I need you to go to the unemployment office with me!"
Seinfeld
"The guy from the locker room!"
Seinfeld
"I'm the chucker!"
Seinfeld
"Well, Biff..."
Seinfeld
"...what's next?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"I was walking behind you, and you..."
Seinfeld
"When you're moving, your whole world becomes boxes."
Seinfeld
"That's all you think about, is boxes. Where are there boxes?"
Seinfeld
"You just wander down the street, going in and out of stores."
Seinfeld
"I mean, you can't even talk to people because you can't concentrate."
Seinfeld
"Shut up! I'm looking for boxes!"
Seinfeld
"So after a while, you become really into it. You can smell them."
Seinfeld
"There's boxes here."
Seinfeld
"Don't tell me you don't have boxes. Damn it! I can smell them!"
Seinfeld
"You become, like, obsessed."
Seinfeld
"I love the smell of cardboard in the morning."
Seinfeld
"At a funeral, everyone's crying around. You're looking at the casket:"
Seinfeld
"That's a nice box."
Seinfeld
"Does anybody know where that guy got that box?"
Seinfeld
"When he's done with it, you think I could get that?"
Seinfeld
"It's got some nice handles on it."
Seinfeld
"And that's what death is, really. It's the last big move of your life."
Seinfeld
"The hearse is like the van."
Seinfeld
"The pallbearers are close friends."
Seinfeld
"The only ones you could really ask to help you with a big move like that."
Seinfeld
"And the casket is that great, perfect box..."
Seinfeld
"...you've been looking for your whole life."
Seinfeld
"...so that we'll be in shape for when we have to do our exercise."
Seinfeld
"Keith Hernandez, the baseball player?"
Seinfeld
"- He's such a great player. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Well, he could say hello to me. I wouldn't mind."
Seinfeld
"Whatever the group is you've got now, that's who you're going with."
Seinfeld
"You like cherry soda? I like cherry soda! We'll be best friends!"
Seinfeld
"Then you say you were struck..."
Seinfeld
"- What is that? - You're in latex."
Seinfeld
"If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit..."
Seinfeld
"Sure. That would be great."
Seinfeld
"- No, no, no. I can cancel. - Sure. We'll do something next week."
Seinfeld
"You have a very nice place here."
Seinfeld
"It's in the bottom drawer of our dresser."
Seinfeld
"Glad you enjoyed it."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my father's half-drunk."
Seinfeld
"Then... I'll see you then."
Seinfeld
"I mean, I hardly know the guy."
Seinfeld
"I wish you never mentioned it to me."
Seinfeld
"I don't know you."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, me too!"
Seinfeld
"Keith! Keith!"
Seinfeld
"Keith! Keith! Up here!"
Seinfeld
"I-I'm Jerry's friend!"
Seinfeld
"It'll take five minutes!"
Seinfeld
"When you're a kid..."
Seinfeld
"Specific. Let's see..."
Seinfeld
"- A marble coffee table. - Is that a thick marble?"
Seinfeld
"Don't bother."
Seinfeld
"I hate those couples. I could never be one of those couples."
Seinfeld
"Go ahead, shake his hand. I'm Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
Seinfeld
"- Let me tell her. - No, you can't-"
Seinfeld
"This week end. Wow!"
Seinfeld
"I'm not driving him to the airport!"
Seinfeld
"I saw every inning that year."
Seinfeld