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Clips from NewsRadio - Our Fiftieth Episode (S03E03)

"say goodbye."
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"I'd love to stay, but..."
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"well, without my constant supervision,"
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"the real world goes to hell in a hand basket."
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"It's tough being prime minister."
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"Especially your beautiful stories."
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"just tune in to 585 AM between 10 and 6."
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"I'll be there for you."
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"Yeah. Okay."
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"Well..."
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"thanks again, Bill."
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"Ulysses S. Grant,"
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"[TEARFULLY] I was talking to the cigarette."
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"Mm-hmm. I love the Mets."
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"Can you explain... why you like sports?"
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"I like sports, sir,"
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"Therefore, I like violent activities"
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"Say, Joe,"
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"[♪]"
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"[♪]"
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"I didn't want to say anything in front of everybody, but..."
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"Bill might not be coming in today at all."
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"Oh, why not?"
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"This isn't some sort of brain teaser, okay?"
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"All right, let's go bail him out."
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"Well, that might be tough. Hm?"
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"Apparently, when he got down to the police station,"
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"he kept on arguing and arguing and arguing--"
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"is noncooperative or hostile,"
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"it's standard procedure to give them"
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"a routine psychiatric evaluation."
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"Oh, no. Oh, yes."
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"Bill has been committed to a psychiatric hospital"
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"[CLEARS THROAT]"
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"How are we doing today, Mr. McNeal?"
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"I'm fine. Really?"
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"If I tried to explain, you wouldn't believe me."
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"and then you'd go type them up and use them"
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"Uh, er, may I call you "Mike"?"
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"No one here is "crazy.""
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"Who amongst us has never had the urge to make out..."
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"Hi, can you excuse us, please?"
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"I'm in the middle of an evaluation."
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"I'm gonna have to revoke your TV privileges."
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"[SARCASTICALLY] Oh, ouch."
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"Cigarette?"
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"Now, if you'll excuse us, please."
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"You're crazy."
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"Garçon!"
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"Name?"
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"Bill McNeal!"
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"There you go, Mike."
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"I know, I know."
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"But it's just easier to play their game."
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"Hey, if you'd like, I-- I could call you "Bill.""
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"Thank you. You're welcome."
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"18th president of the United States."
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"You're not the 18th president of the United States."
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"That's just my name, not my job."
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"Yeah, well, what about older women?"
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"Mr. James? Yeah, yeah."
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"Uh-huh. Thank you."
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"Yeah, no, no, just-- All right."
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"What do we do on The Real Deal with Bill McNeal?"
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"I gonna fill in till Bill gets back. We're fine."
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"That's not what my audience-research people say."
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"What audience-research people?"
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"These audience-research people."
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"with a-- Ahem. A cohost."
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"That's fine. I have no problem cohosting a show with Catherine."
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"No, no, no. Common man wants to hear you do a show with Joe."
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"[LAUGHS]"
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"You want me to do a serious, issue-oriented show with Joe?"
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"Yeah. Unless, of course,"
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"Fine. Good, good."
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"Huh? Yeah. No-- Wait, she's gone. Yeah."
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"Okay. Talk to me, talk to me."
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"Now, what--?"
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"BETH: Sir, I'm afraid the data is still inconclusive."
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"I'm gonna have to do a little more snooping around."
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"Well, like you suggested,"
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"I've infiltrated a midtown business establishment"
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"but I need for you to stay out in the field"
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"until I get this show fixed. Okay,"
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"but this type of research could get kind of expensive."
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"Is the Swedish massage here administered by an actual Swede?"
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"Very troubled."
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"No, no. He really isn't. No."
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"Oh, no, I'm afraid he's quite crazy."
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"We work with Bill. We know him very well."
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"Well, then you will have noticed that Mr. McNeal"
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"is a textbook paranoid psychotic."
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"He has difficulty forming"
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"emotional relationships with others."
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"Well, that may be so, but-- He exhibits"
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"Well, you know, sometimes he makes it hard, but--"
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"And his feelings about his parents are..."
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"Ah, which brings me to my next point."
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"Ever since Bill came here,"
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"Sure, Bill has his problems. We-- We all do."
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"But I've been working with him for nearly three years now,"
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"CATHERINE: Can we talk to him? Oh, I'm afraid not."
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"No visitors for the first 24 hours."
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"Sorry you feel that way, Mr. Nelson,"
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"but we will keep you updated as to his condition,"
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"Mr. Nelson. Hm?"
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"Sorry."
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"Joe and I will be discussing the problems"
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"There's a lot of room for improvement."
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"why a prominent board member recently declared"
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"the city schools a disaster."
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"Easy. Because he is dumb, and I am smart."
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"City SAT scores are down 9 percent. [TSKING]"
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"You're making that up. No, I'm not."
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"I'm reading it from this report from the secretary of education."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, she is holding a cup of coffee"
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"and pretending it's a government report."
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"Yes, you are. And what the report really says"
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"is that one year in a New York City public school"
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"If you had went to New York City public schools,"
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