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Clips from Please Like Me - Beluga Caviar (S04E04)

"- ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ Oh, the good Lord knows it ♪"
Please Like Me
"I mean, he looks adult. I promise he looks like an adult."
Please Like Me
"- (GRINDR ALERT) - He's 18."
Please Like Me
"That's quite young. Who do you think you are?"
Please Like Me
"He's 18."
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"Oh, no..."
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"Sounds fun. Maybe I'll join you. Maybe I'll do some boxing."
Please Like Me
"I'll only hit bad guys."
Please Like Me
"I'm sick of sexuality being fluid."
Please Like Me
"I mean, it's such a controlled environment."
Please Like Me
"Like, in the grand scheme of things, like the billions people"
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"You know?"
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"- He cured me, Bastion. - Yeah."
Please Like Me
"Hey, Ma. I'm sorry, I can't really talk."
Please Like Me
"Josh, Hannah has been ignoring me."
Please Like Me
"Thank you."
Please Like Me
"Sure, of course."
Please Like Me
"Uh, well, I waited for him to finish smoking his meth and then we had sex,"
Please Like Me
"after they smoked meth, but no, there I was doing it."
Please Like Me
"Oh, I don't go out in unironed shirts."
Please Like Me
"Okay."
Please Like Me
"He's trying to mark you."
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"What? That is just the stupid..."
Please Like Me
"Of course, of course."
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"Well, it's a shit shtick."
Please Like Me
"Hannah Banana."
Please Like Me
"When?"
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"but I didn't mean out of the house."
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"I just wanted her out of my knee circle."
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"Hi, Ma."
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"I've worn myself out."
Please Like Me
"Boo."
Please Like Me
"What?"
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"The condom broke."
Please Like Me
"Let's have a shower."
Please Like Me
"Isn't Hermione's only downfall her hygiene?"
Please Like Me
"She's a hot mess."
Please Like Me
"Right."
Please Like Me
"It's fine."
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"Only, like, two. Yeah."
Please Like Me
"Um... Then it's like 16, I think. Is that a lot?"
Please Like Me
"Just trying to meet people and exist in the world."
Please Like Me
"Hey, do you want to hear something interesting?"
Please Like Me
"It's fine."
Please Like Me
"My first fight went better than expected."
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"I'll think of something."
Please Like Me
"I want a second opinion."
Please Like Me
"which boy I'm talking about?"
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"We've been chatting, I invited him out again,"
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"Oh, no! Why did I do that, Tom?"
Please Like Me
"Hi, I'm Josh. I'm not here. I'm sorry. Leave a message. Goodbye."
Please Like Me
"I'm lonely!"
Please Like Me
"Yeah, Joshua!"
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"I tell everybody how much he loved holding my hand"
Please Like Me
"Josh."
Please Like Me
"Fuck. No, no, no, no, no!"
Please Like Me
"Beluga caviar?"
Please Like Me
"Fuck!"
Please Like Me
"All of a sudden I'm housemates with Vladimir Putin."
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"(LAUGHS)"
Please Like Me
"Arnold got that for me for Valentine's Day."
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"Oh, it expired on Sunday."
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"Shit."
Please Like Me
"How much is that?"
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"- Like, $150. - $150?"
Please Like Me
"How did you forget to eat $150 worth of caviar?"
Please Like Me
"Well, Tom, we were waiting for the perfect moment"
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"Well, that's poetic."
Please Like Me
"Maybe it's still good?"
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"That was fucking creepy."
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"That's how you taste caviar!"
Please Like Me
"Is it okay to eat?"
Please Like Me
"I don't know. I've never had it before and it tastes sort of off"
Please Like Me
"but, like, in a good way."
Please Like Me
"- Yeah, I'm into it. - 'Cause it tastes like pussy?"
Please Like Me
"Mm."
Please Like Me
"If that's what you taste like then I just... you need to change something."
Please Like Me
"Hey, do you know what I think you'd really love?"
Please Like Me
"Like, a really pretty guy with, like, cute curly hair,"
Please Like Me
"and a very good BMI, like,"
Please Like Me
"- does lots of nice compliments... - Oh, yeah?"
Please Like Me
"Very smart and does surprisingly romantic things"
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"and maybe he's got a bit of money but he's not arrogant."
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"- Yeah, Arnold is quite good. Yep. - Yeah."
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"But you just can't make yourself love him."
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"Not anymore."
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"For me, the question here is, what's wrong with you?"
Please Like Me
"Face."
Please Like Me
"Is that a speck of mould?"
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"I don't know."
Please Like Me
"Just eat around it."
Please Like Me
"I love you."
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"I am feeling optimistic and enthusiastic about my dating future."
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"♪ One, two. One, two, three, four ♪"
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"♪ Ooh ♪"
Please Like Me
"- ♪ Yeah, I'll be fine, yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ Ooh ♪"
Please Like Me
"- ♪ Ooh ♪ - ♪ I left better behind ♪"
Please Like Me
"♪ I'll be fine, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪"
Please Like Me
"♪ Make my mamma turn another blind eye ♪"
Please Like Me
"♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪"
Please Like Me
"Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"
Please Like Me
"♪ I'll be fine ♪"
Please Like Me
"A bus is here. I mean, this just must be him."
Please Like Me
"Why is Tom still talking to the real estate agent?"
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"Is it a girl with low self-esteem?"
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"This house is so ugly and he's pretending it isn't."
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"No one got out."
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"Why did no one get out?"
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"(GRINDR NOTIFICATION ALERT)"
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"He just messaged and said that he's ten minutes away."
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"He's said that quite a lot."
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"- Many times. - (GRINDR NOTIFICATION ALERT)"
Please Like Me
"Oh, no, Ella, he just said he's in school uniform and hopes that's okay."
Please Like Me
"Is that okay?"
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"Josh, how old is this boy?"
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"I don't know, it doesn't say on his profile."
Please Like Me
"- Ask him. - Yeah."
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"- Tom? - (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)"
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"- (GRINDR ALERT) - Oh, God."
Please Like Me
"What?"
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