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Clips from South Park - The Entity (S05E05)

"And this little light went on in my head,"
South Park
"like, Oh, man, no wonder Kyle thought that what I said in the class,"
South Park
"But I was literally talking about a concentration camp."
South Park
"You know, where you go for a week to learn and focus."
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"You blew the deal, Cartman."
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"I knew you were going to make fun of my lame cousin."
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"So I offered you the forty bucks not to rip on him."
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"- You ripped on him, deal's off. - You did what?"
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"- Oh, no. - Serves you right, asshole."
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"You paid your friends to not make fun of me?"
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"Look, it's not because anything's wrong with you."
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"Well, I mean you didn't just start at 40, did you? You gotta lowball these things"
South Park
"Boy, it sure is dry out here."
South Park
"Gentlemen, imagine being able to travel safely at incredibly fast speeds,"
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"And what makes it possible, is ITs patented gyroscope design."
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"Gentlemen, I give you IT."
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"- Nice. - Sleek."
South Park
"Wow."
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"- This will change everything. - We're going to have to rethink cities."
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"Now, IT is easily operated using four flexi grip handles."
South Park
"There we go."
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"Now the final flexi grip is directly in front of the driver"
South Park
"so that its small switches can be operated with the mouth. As such."
South Park
"Put the four together, and we're ready to go."
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"But the way it works,"
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"do you really think people will go through that to travel?"
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"Hey, it still beats what you go through at the airports."
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"- True. - That's true."
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"I can't take it any more, Stan."
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"My cousin's been here for two weeks and he's driving me insane."
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"and this stereotype shows up and wrecks it all."
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"That somehow his mannerisms will start rubbing off on me,"
South Park
"and I'll become a stereotype."
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"Dude, a self-hating Jew. You are becoming a stereotype."
South Park
"- You see? - I'm back."
South Park
"Okay, good. Just step through here."
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"And then this is your steering and here's your throttle."
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"Okay."
South Park
"Okay, now you're just gonna feel a little pinch."
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"Doing great, Kathy. How's that ride?"
South Park
"Okay, now use your mouth to operate the turn signals and you're off."
South Park
"Great. Who else wants to give it a spin?"
South Park
"- Oh, man, is that the IT? - Yeah."
South Park
"Well, it beats dealing with the airline companies, that's for sure."
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"No matter how long the sledding run lasts, hold on."
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"How far do you think it is to Connecticut?"
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"- It's at least a couple hours. - Think he'll be all right?"
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"Are you tired of corporate airline companies"
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"But now there is an alternative to airline travel. IT."
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"IT comes in sizes available for the entire family."
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"Here you go, Robbie."
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"Hello, I'm John Travolta. I used to rely on airlines to get me to set."
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"than dealing with the airline companies. I just power up the flexi grips..."
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"And I'm ready to go. Thank you, IT."
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"So join the millions of Americans who have found"
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"a little bit more comfortable way of travelling."
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"Order yours today and remember our slogan,"
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"IT's better than flying!"
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"- Kyle Two, where is Kyle? - I don't know, Ma."
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"maybe he got so worried about his mom"
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"that he found a way to get back and see her."
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"I'm just throwing it out there as a possibility."
South Park
"I'm sorry, you must have been worried sick."
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"I got your sled tangled up with a bus."
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"- A bus? Really? - Kyle, what happened to you?"
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"I was just sledding and, the next thing I knew, my sled rope got tangled"
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"Oh, you poor thing."
South Park
"Come upstairs and we'll get you out of those wet clothes. Are you all right?"
South Park
"Oh, my ears feel like they're frozen off, and I think I have a haemorrhoid"
South Park
"Oh, hi, Jimbo. Can I help you?"
South Park
"Yeah, I wanted to order that theft alarm for my IT."
South Park
"Oh, right, right. Take a seat."
South Park
"Oh, that's okay, I'll stand."
South Park
"All set to put down a down payment on that baby?"
South Park
"Well, yeah, but I just had one question about the way it works."
South Park
"- Sure. - Well, it seems all the buttons"
South Park
"on these front and rear flexi grips are also found on the side of the vehicle."
South Park
"- Yeah. - Well, so they don't really do anything."
South Park
"Right."
South Park
"I think playing hide-and-seek in the airport might be dangerous."
South Park
"Kyle, we told you. Kids in Colorado all play hide-and-seek at the airport."
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"This is taking too long. The flight to Connecticut is gonna leave."
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"Hey! Can we speed things up here?"
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"Sorry, but ever since that IT thing came out,"
South Park
"the airlines have had to cut back on employees."
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"Dude, we're the only ones here."
South Park
"How long does it take to get five people through security?"
South Park
"Let's see. Four people plus... Times... Divided..."
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"Can't we just play hide-and-seek at home?"
South Park
"Oh, Jesus!"
South Park
"These corns are killing me."
South Park
"- I hope he doesn't suffocate. - He's fine."
South Park
"Oh, Jesus, this box is going fast."
South Park
"Oh, I did it again."
South Park
"Your vehicle is causing them to lose money."
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"Yeah, well, that was the point, dingleberry. Put that down."
South Park
"by shutting you down and making ITs illegal."
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"because of their own incompetence and their own inefficiency."
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"That may be true. But if you build, sell or ride another IT,"
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"Airline mother... You pieces of..."
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"Suck my..."
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"Oh, it's been days. Where could he be?"
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"I don't know, Ma. It's like he vanished into thin air."
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"Kyle Two, go down to the playground and look there."
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"- I'm back. - Kyle, you're back!"
South Park
"Oh, it was so dry down there."
South Park
"So, dude, did Cartman's idea work?"
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"No, I tried getting my cousin lost in the woods,"
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"- But a stupid bear brought him home. - Damn."
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"Well, Kyle, I gotta go."
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"- What? - Yeah."
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"- I've got to get back to Connecticut. - Now that things have changed for Kyle,"
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"- His mother needs him back. - Do you promise?"
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"Well, I invested in that IT thing and there was a bailout."
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"So I received a five million dollar bailout clause cheque,"
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"which I can use to help my family. So I guess, goodbye, cousin."
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"Okay. See you, cousin. Hope to see you soon."
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"- Not too soon I hope. - Yeah!"
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"Dude, dude, dude, you have five million dollars?"
South Park
"Wait. Kyle, this may sound crazy, but I think you should stay."
South Park
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