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Clips from The Office - E-Mail Surveillance (S02E02)

"then I would need to know in order to take over."
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"I'm in the best shape of my life. Look at this."
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"I'm not going to get... ... or hit by a car..."
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"I'm not... Okay, if I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and die,"
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"you can have my job, okay?"
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"Why don't you just go away?"
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"There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees."
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"His salary, that would depress them."
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"His bed."
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"that I'll be reading their e-mails."
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"So how do you search?"
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"Try profits."
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"No, try Michael Scott."
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"Michael, boss and funny."
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"Oh, my God. Wow!"
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"E- mail from Stanley."
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"I can't go to the game tonight because my boss, Michael,"
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"Hey, what's the deal, Michael?"
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"Oh, no! Everybody, Oscar's gone crazy."
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"What other ghost stories do you have for us?"
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"That I'm a robot?"
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"I will destroy everything in my path."
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"Okay."
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"Oil can."
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"Actually, we just got a memo from IT"
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"What? No, that defeats the whole purpose."
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"So it's true? You have access to our e-mails?"
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"they immediately think it's scary or bad."
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"I gotta erase a lot of stuff."
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"A lot of stuff."
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"I know. Good."
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"Hey!"
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"Dwight just told Angela that she has to delete"
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"Do you think that they're, like... No."
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"Right. No, no."
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"It's like squishing a spider under a book."
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"It's going to be really gross, but I have to look"
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"So if you guys see anything..."
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"Nice."
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"and the other one is short and blond"
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"Does he have access to their medical records?"
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"I think one of the greatest things about modern America"
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"is the computerization of medical records."
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"As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records"
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"from that old bread factory."
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"Meredith has an evite from Jim."
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"Barbeque at Jim's tonight."
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"Wonder where my evitation is."
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"Angela, Stanley, Oscar, Meredith,"
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"Phyllis, Kevin, Creed."
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"Hey, Angela. How's it going? Hey."
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"It's okay."
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"No. Are we supposed to?"
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"No. I mean, I don't know. I don't think so."
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"There is always a distance between a boss and the employees."
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"It is just nature's rule."
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"It's intimidation mostly."
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"It's the awareness that they are not me."
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"But maybe I need to be even approachabler."
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"Are you going to eat with us? Of course."
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"Hanging with my crew, crew that I am one of."
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"Hanging with my cup of noodles."
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"This is a meal in a cup. Right here. Hot, tasty."
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"Reminds me of college."
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"Lived on this stuff. Brain food."
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"You know what I really, really miss about college?"
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"Everybody would go, the athletes, the nerds, professors."
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"The professors would go to the parties?"
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"Yeah. They were the most fun."
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"We always invited them."
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"I've got three cases of imported beer,"
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"And it's nothing personal. I just think that if he were there,"
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"And my roommate wants to meet everybody."
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"Question."
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"On the Internet, there are several different options"
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"to get to your house for the party tonight,"
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"and I was wondering... Could you keep that down?"
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"Why?"
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"Like who? Who doesn't know?"
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"Why just Michael?"
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"So, Dwight thinks that tonight is a surprise party for Michael."
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"Oh, man."
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"Oh, you know, speaking of which, I was just trying to get"
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"a handle on numbers for food and stuff,"
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"so do you think Roy's gonna come, or..."
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"Oh, no, he can't make it."
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"Hey, there. Hey."
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"One more hour to take care of anything you forgot to do."
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"Hey, you know, I don't know if you have any plans tonight,"
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"Oh, um..."
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"I can't."
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"You have plans? Yeah, I do."
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"You do? Big plans. I do. Yeah."
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"Tonight? I can't do it tonight, no."
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"Hanging out with my improv buds."
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"Really? Yeah."
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"That sounds like a lot of fun."
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"But if something else came up, I would definitely not go."
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"Improv sounds great."
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"It is."
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"Okay."
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"What?"
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"Hey, Pam. Do you need me to walk you to your vehicular transport?"
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"No, thanks. All right."
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"Okay. Kevin. Big man, big man, what are you doing tonight?"
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"Where are you off to? My brother is in town"
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"and we are going to see the Alaska Film Festival..."
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"Hey, Angela. Rushie, rushie! Where're you rushing off to?"
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"I'm just leaving for the day."
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"Yeah, well, duh! Where're you headed?"
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"Charity bake drive."
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"Liar! You are a liar."
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"Dwight! Oh, Dwight, my loyal compadre."
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"You and I are hanging tonight."
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"The two of us. We are celebrating our freedom"
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"that you've been wanting to watch? That stupid Battleship Galaxy."
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"Battlestar Galactica."
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"That's... Whatever stupid show you want to watch,"
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"Unfortunately, I've got plans. I have to go to practice."
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"Soccer practice."
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