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Clips from The Office - The Fight (S02E02)

"That is weird."
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"This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional."
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"I think you should retrace your steps."
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"Colder."
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"Hot. Very hot."
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"Dwight Schrute. Hi, Dwight."
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"What sort of discounts are we giving on the 20-Ib. White bond?"
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"Okay, thank you. Got to get back to work."
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"Sensei, hello, it's Sempai."
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"Yes, I just had a question... Yes, Sensei."
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"No, that was my sensei."
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"Oh, I thought it was your mom."
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"Okay."
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"I am a practitioner of Goju-Ryu Karate"
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"SENSEl: Two!"
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"And gave me the duties of a sempai."
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"I don't wanna stay until 7:00 again this year."
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"I don't really have any control over that, Stanley."
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"Time cards, he has to sign these every Friday."
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"And expense reports,"
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"Did you ask me here for any specific reason?"
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"Hello. Oh, God. Busywork. Oh, get away, cretin."
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"Stop Pam-MS-ing. That's pretty good."
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"because Pam said it wasn't a priority."
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"Think. Think with your head, Pam."
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"and when you are cool they walk all over you."
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"calling from Wonderland."
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"This is Tito."
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"Calling from..."
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"I am just following the website."
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"Thanks."
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"Pick up!"
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"This is Mike Tyson."
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"Okay, give that back to me."
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"Please? Please!"
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"Arigato."
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"So that everyone can see that I am capable of physically dominating them."
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"Left brain, right brain, or duality of man."
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"No women or children, unless provoked."
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"Okay."
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"Michael. Could you beat up Michael?"
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"Because I would kick his ass."
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"I've beat up black belts. Yeah."
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"Is your wife still your contact?"
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"You don't need to write Ex."
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"Michael! Oh, wow!"
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"Sleeper hold! Bedtime for Bonzo."
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"and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up."
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"I can't, 'cause I just got a manicure, so..."
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"Oh, queer! Eye..."
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"a ton of 14-year-old girls who could kick his ass."
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"Okay, I'll punch you."
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"All right, come on."
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"Are you okay? Yes."
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"I come from a long line of fighters."
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"World War II veteran, killed 20 men,"
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"then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp."
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"I don't know."
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"French onion?"
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"I haven't signed them, okay?"
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"but Dwight can't stop you from being mugged."
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"That's ridiculous. I can murder him."
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"It's just that out there you..."
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"Okay, all right."
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"All right. Here we go."
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"he might sucker punch you."
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"Tit for tit. Give it your best shot. Two punches. Go!"
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"Me punching you and you hitting the floor."
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"Yeah. You know what,"
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"I got the key."
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"Why don't you leave right now?"
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"Pam, make an announcement."
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"Figure out car pools."
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"I'm coming. Fight!"
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"I recognize that."
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"No, it's not."
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"Oh."
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"Look closer."
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"Okay, gentlemen, listen up."
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"No kicks to the groin, home for dinner."
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"Okay, purple belt, okay."
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"I got his pants. That was my pants."
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"No points for pants."
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"One point, two points, three points!"
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"Open your mouth! No, Michael!"
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"You talking to me?"
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"Oh, I have to get back to work. I have lots of work to..."
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"Mr. Temp having lunch by the car."
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"Yeah. Come in."
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"Oh, hey, Karate Kid."
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"I need to change my emergency contact information"
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"You know what,"
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"and I will call the hospital."
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"I have the emergency contacts."
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"So, what you up to this weekend?"
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"Hanging out with some friends, probably."
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"Yeah. All right, I will see you Monday."
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"Well, you don't even have anybody to go home to, Toby, so..."
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"The shipping place closes in a half hour."
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"but I have been carrying the load on my back all day."
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"And if everyone would just chip in a little bit,"
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"it might help me out."
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"What do you say? Let's gang-bang this thing and go home."
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"I wouldn't be offering it if I didn't think you could handle it."
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"I can handle it. I can."
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"So, I guess, this will just be my office."
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"Three month probationary period."
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"Michael,"
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"Sensei."
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"And, ditto."
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"which is what I just did for Dwight."
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"Would I rather be feared or loved?"
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"Easy. Both."
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"Where is my desk?"
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"Hey, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?"
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"Okay, who moved my desk?"
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"Okay, I am going to tell Michael"
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"and this entire office will be punished."
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"Warmer."
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"A little warmer."
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