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Clips from Louie (2010) - Barney / Never (S03E03)

"Were you... I knew him."
Louie (2010)
"was he a friend of yours or just. J.."
Louie (2010)
"He was my ex-wife's brother-in-law."
Louie (2010)
"I'm pretty sure that Barney"
Louie (2010)
"was the biggest piece of shit I ever knew."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, yeah."
Louie (2010)
"He was to me."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, he was the worst guy ever maybe."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, yeah, I hated him. Right?"
Louie (2010)
"Yeah. You hated him?"
Louie (2010)
"Hated him. Oh..."
Louie (2010)
"All the comics hated him."
Louie (2010)
"He bounced checks."
Louie (2010)
"Just mean."
Louie (2010)
"And I-- like when he--"
Louie (2010)
"This is weird, 'cause when he died, I felt nothing."
Louie (2010)
"Ditto. I didn't care."
Louie (2010)
"when I pictured him going in the ground"
Louie (2010)
"and nobody's there, he's alone..."
Louie (2010)
"And on top of that, he stole another 100 grand from me."
Louie (2010)
"And I couldn't go after him."
Louie (2010)
"He bought a boat with the money he stole from me."
Louie (2010)
"He kept wanting me to go out on the boat."
Louie (2010)
"Out on the boat that he bought with money"
Louie (2010)
"You know, the thing about him is,"
Louie (2010)
"he wanted everybody to like him,"
Louie (2010)
"He was like that with everybody."
Louie (2010)
"I mean, he-- he begged comics to hang out with him."
Louie (2010)
"He'd mistreat us"
Louie (2010)
"but then after the show he'd go,"
Louie (2010)
""Come on, let's hang out."
Louie (2010)
""Where do you want to go?"
Louie (2010)
""Come on, fellas."
Louie (2010)
""Let's get in the limo."
Louie (2010)
"Let's go to the strip club." The strip club."
Louie (2010)
"Right."
Louie (2010)
"What was the name of the place by"
Louie (2010)
"Every time I came to town, he kept wanting me to"
Louie (2010)
"He'd go, "Hey, Robbie, you gotta come down"
Louie (2010)
""and check out the tits on this new Chilean broad"
Louie (2010)
"He begged everybody to go there."
Louie (2010)
"Did you ever go there with him? No, not once."
Louie (2010)
"I never went there, either. No."
Louie (2010)
"I don't know anybody who went to that club with him."
Louie (2010)
"You?"
Louie (2010)
"Want a double dance?"
Louie (2010)
"So you don't want a dance?"
Louie (2010)
"Well, uh..."
Louie (2010)
"We, uh, we..."
Louie (2010)
"I wonder if I could ask you for a favor."
Louie (2010)
"Sure, what's up?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm wondering if you could watch Never for me,"
Louie (2010)
"maybe bring him home for a play date"
Louie (2010)
"Sure, you have an emergency?"
Louie (2010)
"I'm having my vagina removed."
Louie (2010)
"I'm sorry."
Louie (2010)
"No, it's elective."
Louie (2010)
"I've chosen to have it removed."
Louie (2010)
"Right."
Louie (2010)
"I have to do it now to stay on schedule."
Louie (2010)
"Okay, so you need--"
Louie (2010)
"I know we're not friends"
Louie (2010)
"that I feel I can confide in or trust."
Louie (2010)
"Daddy? What?"
Louie (2010)
"Baby, don't do that."
Louie (2010)
"But, Daddy! No, no-- shh."
Louie (2010)
"That's-- we'll be happy to have him"
Louie (2010)
"and just call me after your thing."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, also, I need you to know"
Louie (2010)
"that I don't say "no" to him."
Louie (2010)
"And he can't eat anything with carbon in it."
Louie (2010)
"It's all from China."
Louie (2010)
"Do you have any food at your house?"
Louie (2010)
"We'll, uh..."
Louie (2010)
"Look. Daddy, I really don't want to play with him."
Louie (2010)
"I know, but his mom needs our help."
Louie (2010)
"We wanna..."
Louie (2010)
"You hungry?"
Louie (2010)
"Listen, um, Never,"
Louie (2010)
"your mom told me that you can't eat anything"
Louie (2010)
"that has carbon in it."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"I can't."
Louie (2010)
"My mom says I'll die."
Louie (2010)
"That's pretty serious."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"How about some eggs?"
Louie (2010)
"I'll make you some eggs."
Louie (2010)
"Carrots? I hate carrots."
Louie (2010)
"I can have that."
Louie (2010)
"A burger."
Louie (2010)
"Want me to make you a burger?"
Louie (2010)
"I can't have it cooked."
Louie (2010)
"You want to eat it raw? In a bowl."
Louie (2010)
"You want me to give you raw meat in a bowl?"
Louie (2010)
"All right, you got it, killer."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, sorry."
Louie (2010)
"Uh, what for?"
Louie (2010)
"Um, you're playing Kansas City in two weeks"
Louie (2010)
"and ticket sales are a little soft."
Louie (2010)
"Oh, man, I told you not to book me in Kansas City."
Louie (2010)
"which should really help."
Louie (2010)
"It's not even drive time."
Louie (2010)
"Doesn't matter, the economy's really bad in KC."
Louie (2010)
"Yeah, but, Doug, I hate doing radio shows."
Louie (2010)
"I know, I know."
Louie (2010)
"and you'll make way more money next week."
Louie (2010)
"It's worth it. Can we just book me in, like, a..."
Louie (2010)
"a city where people want to see me"
Louie (2010)
"and not make any money."
Louie (2010)
"All right, I'll do it."
Louie (2010)
"Okay."
Louie (2010)
"Bye."
Louie (2010)
"Never?"
Louie (2010)
"So?"
Louie (2010)
"Hey, that's my rug!"
Louie (2010)
"Hey, that's-- that's my rug!"
Louie (2010)
"so I need something that you can do while I'm doing that."
Louie (2010)
"Can I play with Lilly?"
Louie (2010)
"My mom doesn't allow it."
Louie (2010)
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