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Clips from The Golden Girls - The Competition (S01E01)

"Ma, what smells so great?"
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"I'd get naked and make love to it. God, I love you."
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"Oh, well, you certainly look black."
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"Rose, get away from that door."
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"I can't help it. I just think it's amazing that a man would look up his first love"
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"Rose dumped me as her partner!"
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"And then the two of you signed up together."
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"Ah. You and Augie have been seeing a lot of each other"
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"Augie's a terrific guy. And a gentleman!"
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"At my age, I can't worry about that. This is special."
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"Oh, I would love it!"
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"Oh, Dorothy, that was a terrible thing to do!"
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"- Did you let him get away with it? - Hell, no!"
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"No."
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"Oh, calm down, honey. They're just trying to get to you."
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"Oh!"
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"Blanche, Blanche, don't you see what's happening?"
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"They are resorting to cheap tricks"
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"Ha-ha! I can't believe you can swing that ball past your hip."
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"Don't you, sweetheart?"
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"Strike!"
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"You know what else was nice about that day?"
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"Go get 'em, Dorothy. Whip their butts."
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"So Augie and I took a bus to Palermo to look up our old friend Teresa DiFino."
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"We spent two hours on the bus."
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"- Hi, Dorothy. - Don't talk to me."
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"I know you're both still angry with me and you have every right to be,"
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"Winning doesn't mean anything if it means losing your two best friends."
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"That's why I had all our names engraved on this trophy."
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"Thank you for being a friend"
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"Traveled down the road and back again"
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"Your heart is true"
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"You're a pal and a confidante"
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"And if you threw a party"
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"Invited everyone you knew"
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"And the card attached would say"
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""Thank you for being a friend""
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"Nothing. Just a little spaghetti sauce I threw together."
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"Oh, come on. This is your special 14-hour sauce."
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"- What's the occasion? - Nothing."
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"Oh, come on."
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"You haven't made this sauce since Uncle Dominic married off"
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"that daughter of his. You know, the one who looks like Tony Bennett?"
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"Now tell me what's going on. Mmm."
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"I told you, nothing."
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"Oh, Sophia, that smells heavenly! Is it Chef Boyardee?"
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"Stick it in my heart, Rose. It'll hurt less."
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"Oh, girls! I cannot believe how extravagant I've been!"
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"It cost too much money, but when I saw it in the window, I had to have it."
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"- What? - Look at this."
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"What do you think about that?"
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"It's hard to tell, Blanche. We'd need to see both earrings on."
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"You silly."
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"I bought it to help Rose and me win the bowling tournament this year."
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"You think you have a shot at the trophy?"
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"I thought the Nielsen twins were unbeatable."
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"I don't really care whether we win or not. I just like to have fun."
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"And we sure had a good time last year, didn't we, partner?"
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"It was OK."
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"You know, maybe I should get a partner and enter that tournament."
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"I used to be a pretty decent bowler."
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"Decent bowler? You were a fabulous bowler - 180 average."
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"- 180? - Come on."
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"Come on, Ma, you were always a better bowler than I was."
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"I know. I do everything better than you."
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"Hey, Ma? Ma, you know that doubles bowling tournament is next weekend."
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"What do you say you and I team up and enter, huh?"
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"No, I can't. I'm too busy."
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"I'm sure I could find you a partner, Dorothy."
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"You're too busy doing what?"
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"Here."
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""Will be in Miami Thursday. Hope to see you."
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"Respectfully yours, Augustine Bagatelli. " Who is Augustine Bagatelli?"
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"Nobody. Just a boy I knew from my village in Sicily..."
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"...that I was engaged to once. - What?"
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"Well, what do you know? Sophia has a past!"
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"Ma, you never told me you were engaged. What happened?"
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"The war happened. Augustine went off to fight"
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"and I never heard from him again until today."
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"I wonder why he looked you up after all this time?"
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"Are you kidding? He was crazy about me."
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"I was the only girl in the village who didn't want to be a nun."
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"Hey, hey, hey!"
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"- How do I look? - Like a widow in mourning."
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"Perfect. He'll know I'm available."
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"- Hi, Dorothy. - Oh, hi."
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"Oh, Sophia, did your friend die?"
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"Rose, he hasn't come here yet."
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"Rose, did you get me a partner for the bowling tournament?"
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"- Sure did. You're all signed up. - (doorbell"
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"- It's him! - Want me to get it?"
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"- Sophia? - Augustine?"
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"You shrunk!"
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"Hello, I'm Dorothy. I'm Sophia's daughter."
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"Augustine Bagatelli."
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"I'm sure you two have a great deal to catch up on."
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"Nice to have met you."
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"Oh, Ma, I'll be right here in the kitchen in case he gets fresh."
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"Sorry."
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"So, uh, what's new?"
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"- Not much. You? - Not much."
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"My condolences on your husband's passing."
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"Thank you. I've been in mourning 22 years."
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"My wife's been dead 31 years. Philomena Del Nero,"
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"she was from our village."
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"Is she the one whose father used to stand outside of town, drink Chianti,"
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"- and play with a top all day? - Yes."
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"He lived with us for two years after we get married."
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"Thank God he drank himself to death."
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"- You feel like going for a walk? - Oh, I'd love it!"
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"Thank you, thank you."
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"This is so cute! I think they're going for a walk."
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"after all these years."
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"Well, I wonder why Italian men are so romantic."
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"It's the tight pants, Rose."
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"So who did you sign me up to bowl with?"
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"Oh, I wanted to talk to you about that."
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"Well, I am stunned! Just stunned!"
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"Stunned is the only way to describe how... stunned I am!"
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"Just a minute, just a minute, Blanche."
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