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Clips from Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake and Sophia (S02E02)

Uh... yeah.

"Uh... yeah."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's okay. I knew about that.

"It's okay. I knew about that."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

or is it Brian Davidson?

"or is it Brian Davidson?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Uh-oh. Did not know about that one.

"Uh-oh. Did not know about that one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

As in the Brian Davidson who is facing fraud charges

"As in the Brian Davidson who is facing fraud charges"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Only the judge saw me.

"Only the judge saw me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No further questions, your honor.

"No further questions, your honor."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but if we don't get new evidence by tomorrow,

"but if we don't get new evidence by tomorrow,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

we have no chance.

"we have no chance."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Great pep talk, Carl.

"Great pep talk, Carl."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, that wasn't cool.

"Hey, that wasn't cool."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Those kisses were meant for you!

"Those kisses were meant for you!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Not in a romantic way, they were psych-out kisses.

"Not in a romantic way, they were psych-out kisses."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It doesn't matter if my client did it or not.

"It doesn't matter if my client did it or not."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, Scott, beat it.

"All right, Scott, beat it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Scott.

"Scott."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I didn't watch because it looked like a book.

"I didn't watch because it looked like a book."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Kinda like your ping-pong serve.

"Kinda like your ping-pong serve."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, my God. She smells so good.

"Oh, my God. She smells so good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That avocado pit was not regulation.

"That avocado pit was not regulation."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Carl, you wanna come?

"Carl, you wanna come?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, listen up.

"All right, listen up."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We need more evidences on this guy and we need it quick,

"We need more evidences on this guy and we need it quick,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What's going on? You love chit-chat.

"What's going on? You love chit-chat."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, also, your posture seems off,

"Yeah, also, your posture seems off,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

like, it's good.

"like, it's good."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because I'm being serious

"Because I'm being serious"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It's about this woman.

"It's about this woman."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake slept with her.

"Jake slept with her."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, she's so pretty.

"Oh, she's so pretty."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

She's a defense attorney.

"She's a defense attorney."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, my God, are you kidding? Boo!

"Oh, my God, are you kidding? Boo!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, guys, let's take it easy on him.

"Hey, guys, let's take it easy on him."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Hey, I have a good rabies guy, if you need one.

"Hey, I have a good rabies guy, if you need one."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Our witness is useless, so we either need to recover

"Our witness is useless, so we either need to recover"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

the stolen gems or find the break-in tool.

"the stolen gems or find the break-in tool."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What year was the perp's house built in?

"What year was the perp's house built in?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Some of those old brownstones had dumbwaiters.

"Some of those old brownstones had dumbwaiters."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A perfect hiding spot.

"A perfect hiding spot."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Good thinking, Amy.

"Good thinking, Amy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All right, I'm gonna win this case

"All right, I'm gonna win this case"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and then we can put my horrible sexual experience

"and then we can put my horrible sexual experience"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

- behind us forever. - I don't know Jake.

"- behind us forever. - I don't know Jake."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'm afraid I'm gonna think about it every time

"I'm afraid I'm gonna think about it every time"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I look at your crotch.

"I look at your crotch."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Then stop looking at my crotch!

"Then stop looking at my crotch!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

who actually wants to run for union rep.

"who actually wants to run for union rep."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But guess what?

"But guess what?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Mine is epically bad and way too long.

"Mine is epically bad and way too long."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

There's a section where I just pick people out

"There's a section where I just pick people out"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It gets really personal.

"It gets really personal."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Did you know that Hitchcock is technically "a bastard"?

"Did you know that Hitchcock is technically "a bastard"?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Santiago, can I talk to you in my office?

"Santiago, can I talk to you in my office?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Blinds closed?

"Blinds closed?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Are we having a pow-wow?

"Are we having a pow-wow?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

with any of my detectives, but I will with you.

"with any of my detectives, but I will with you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Of course.

"Of course."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Because you're royally screwing up.

"Because you're royally screwing up."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, no, this isn't a pow-wow.

"Oh, no, this isn't a pow-wow."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You bet it is.

"You bet it is."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Stop trying to tank this election.

"Stop trying to tank this election."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You know damned well you'd make a great union rep.

"You know damned well you'd make a great union rep."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

and clashing with the brass is career suicide.

"and clashing with the brass is career suicide."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Not for me.

"Not for me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

By my very nature, I was constantly

"By my very nature, I was constantly"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Listen, you're black and gay,

"Listen, you're black and gay,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

so I think you should just take all the black, gay cases.

"so I think you should just take all the black, gay cases."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

But I still managed to rise through the ranks.

"But I still managed to rise through the ranks."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Run for union rep, Amy.

"Run for union rep, Amy."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Okay. I'll do it.

"Okay. I'll do it."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I found some damning new evidence last night.

"I found some damning new evidence last night."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

It was hidden in an old dumbwaiter

"It was hidden in an old dumbwaiter"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All his burglary tools, including a glass cutter

"All his burglary tools, including a glass cutter"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

he used to break into the store.

"he used to break into the store."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yes, but isn't it possible my client could've used

"Yes, but isn't it possible my client could've used"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

the glass cutter for something other than a robbery?

"the glass cutter for something other than a robbery?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I mean, after all, stuff can do two things, right?

"I mean, after all, stuff can do two things, right?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

That's my saying!

"That's my saying!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

People don't own sayings.

"People don't own sayings."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Please answer the question, Detective.

"Please answer the question, Detective."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Fine. In the same bag as the burglary tools,

"Fine. In the same bag as the burglary tools,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

we also found shards of glass.

"we also found shards of glass."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

And you expect us to believe

"And you expect us to believe"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that you found this new evidence yesterday

"that you found this new evidence yesterday"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

just as your case was collapsing around you?

"just as your case was collapsing around you?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I certainly hope so, because it's the truth.

"I certainly hope so, because it's the truth."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

In fact, I believe it was the great John Adams

"In fact, I believe it was the great John Adams"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Let the record show miss Perez looks stunned

"Let the record show miss Perez looks stunned"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I'd like to drop on you.

"I'd like to drop on you."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I think that the squad could really increase its efficiency

"I think that the squad could really increase its efficiency"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

if Gina spent the night re-logging all our files

"if Gina spent the night re-logging all our files"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

with keywords.

"with keywords."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The lady doth have the skills.

"The lady doth have the skills."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Funny, she was just telling me how you should work all night.

"Funny, she was just telling me how you should work all night."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Say what?

"Say what?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You've both made compelling points

"You've both made compelling points"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

about the amount of work that needs to be done

"about the amount of work that needs to be done"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

around here, so you'll both be pulling overnight shifts.

"around here, so you'll both be pulling overnight shifts."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Before you complain, I am once again turning in my chair.

"Before you complain, I am once again turning in my chair."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, sweet chair turn. That's a real power move.

"Oh, sweet chair turn. That's a real power move."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

We, the jury, find the defendant...

"We, the jury, find the defendant..."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Ow!

"Ow!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Oh, I'm in too much pain to care how cool and strong

"Oh, I'm in too much pain to care how cool and strong"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Don't take this away from me.

"Don't take this away from me."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Wow, well done. Another criminal walks free.

"Wow, well done. Another criminal walks free."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I hope you're proud of yourself.

"I hope you're proud of yourself."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Maybe stop calling my client a criminal,

"Maybe stop calling my client a criminal,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

since he was found not guilty.

"since he was found not guilty."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Well, I find myself not guilty of never seeing you again.

"Well, I find myself not guilty of never seeing you again."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

No!

"No!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You're the worst!

"You're the worst!"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake, what are you doing, man?

"Jake, what are you doing, man?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Walking angrily away towards a door

"Walking angrily away towards a door"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

that I now see says "emergency exit only" on it,

"that I now see says "emergency exit only" on it,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Look, man. Don't screw this up.

"Look, man. Don't screw this up."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I hate defense attorneys as much as any rational adult,

"I hate defense attorneys as much as any rational adult,"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

but you obviously have feelings for Sophia.

"but you obviously have feelings for Sophia."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Yeah, anger.

"Yeah, anger."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I don't know.

"I don't know."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

You said yourself how boring your dates have been.

"You said yourself how boring your dates have been."

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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