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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Junior Professor Solution (S08E08)

"What a sick use of science."
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"I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals."
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"A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass."
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"you can stop them with marbles."
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"The answer is cuddly soldiers with big flat noses. Moving on."
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"the materials I gave you?"
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"I'm sensing awkwardness, am I right?"
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"It seems like you could use this time to get a head start."
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"They'll tell me everything I need to know."
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"already familiar with the material."
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"Who here has ever been hurt"
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"It was like the rest of the class wanted Ms. McDonald"
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"♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪"
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"♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x02 ♪ The Junior Professor Solution Original Air Date on September 22, 2014"
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"Mrs. Davis."
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"I believe you went last, so, uh, please?"
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"Pouting and running away actually worked."
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"So, um, what is the solution?"
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"If we promote you to junior professor,"
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"But if I'm a professor, then I'll have to teach a class."
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"You people are sick."
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"from two years ago."
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"No, I just..."
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"I-I'm sorry. I just need a little break from her."
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"I'm saying, in the spirit of science,"
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"what is that little skank's problem?"
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"or Koothrapemily?"
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"Hey, how'd it go with human resources?"
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"What a stupid question."
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"I can't believe I have to waste my time"
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"Just because I enjoyed that one doesn't mean I always do."
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"It's like an earful of melted caramel."
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"some of his students actually had wings."
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"That's rich."
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"after my entire class fails the midterm."
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"Measuring starfish serotonin levels in response"
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"You like that, don't you?"
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"Hey."
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"I do, I see it."
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"that instead of studying, she went out to lunch"
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"That's outrageous!"
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"I know!"
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"so we can mutually disparage this unpleasing third party."
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"Hey. We just wanted to see"
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"Well, that's not your fault."
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"I called the department secretary to see what happened."
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"Apparently, I have a reputation for being obnoxious."
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"No, it's fine."
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"The cookies are named after a town in Massachusetts."
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"And then I'd throw the cookies away."
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"Yeah, why would you do that? What's wrong with you?"
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"I appreciate the gesture,"
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"I don't think you'd understand"
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"Sheldon, I'm more than smart enough to take your class."
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"No."
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"Yes."
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"differentiate under the integral sign."
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"Okay."
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"Um..."
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"to every measurement, they are all equally correct."
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"for a couple more years than me, but guess what--"
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"engineers are just as smart as physicists."
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"You take that back!"
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"No."
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"to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine."
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"Oh, I'm working on my lesson plan for Wolowitz."
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"Even I don't really understand it."
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"Sheldon, why are you doing this?"
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"and you can't deal with it."
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"Interesting point."
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"thus causing me to lash out at anything or anyone"
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"Leonard?"
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"And if you're gonna"
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"spend all your time trying to belittle me"
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"by making this class unnecessarily hard,"
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"then I'm out."
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"But if you're interested in making"
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"I suppose that's a fair request."
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"Okay."
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"It's an inverted cycloid."
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"Wonderful."
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"The good news is I'm grading on a curve,"
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"Now, where was I?"
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"Oh, yes. Over here."
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"What are you doing now?"
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"Making a straw."
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"I am your professor,"
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"Can I get a what what?"
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"What?"
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"Close enough."
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"Thought maybe we could hit up Color Me Mine,"
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"I mean, you're not a bicycle;"
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"Plus, I really want to do well at this job. So..."
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"Hey, girlfriend."
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"She's probably off getting another manicure."
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"Well, don't worry-- everything's back to normal."
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"Hey, boyfriend."
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"Asking me a bunch of questions"
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"how do you quantify the strength of materials?"
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"Young's modulus."
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"You don't know, do you?"
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"Don't know Poiseuille's law?"
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"Yes."
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"Those are also the side effects"
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"Nah, you got this."
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"Okay, good. She seemed like she really wanted to go out tonight."
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"Yes!"
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"60 vertices and 120 edges?"
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"I recently read that during World War Two,"
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"Joseph Stalin had a research program"
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"to create supersoldiers"
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"by having women impregnated by gorillas."
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"Hey, as long as the baby's healthy."
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"Hippos are the deadliest creature."
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"Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry,"
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"You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked."
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"But half-man, half-owl could fly..."
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"So, Penny, when's the new job start?"
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"Next Monday."
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"Did you get a chance to look over"
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