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Clips from Superstore - Magazine Profile (S01E01)

"You think I want to be wearing maternity clothes"
Superstore
"We have someone else to think about now."
Superstore
"Ah, no thanks, Sal."
Superstore
"Maybe I can get some eggnog from up front."
Superstore
"When you chug that, it feels like you're drowning."
Superstore
"You ran off halfway through the tour."
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"Yeah, I had to finish some stuff back here."
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"Uh, hey, listen."
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"You should really talk to Glenn."
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"I know he's kind of awkward,"
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"but he's, like, the heart and soul of this place."
Superstore
"Maybe you could show me around back here."
Superstore
"- Oh, back here? - Yeah."
Superstore
"There's not really much to see back here."
Superstore
"There's a water stain in the shape of a crescent moon, so..."
Superstore
"um, I Instagrammed it."
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"It's, uh, got seven likes."
Superstore
"You're cute."
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"You're cute."
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"That's so... specific."
Superstore
"Um, but..."
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"I'm not just cute, right?"
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"Like I... I'm not just style over substance..."
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"But you're really pretty, and you smell like a pear."
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"Hey, uh, can I ask you a question?"
Superstore
"Yeah, sure. What's going on?"
Superstore
"Uh, which of these headphones would you recommend?"
Superstore
"They got Bluetooth technology, which is great."
Superstore
"This has nothing to do with you."
Superstore
"I'm just making this gesture"
Superstore
"to make sure any photo of me is unusable."
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"- Hey. - Hey!"
Superstore
"Hey. Hey. Ha-hah!"
Superstore
"About before..."
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"I was just trying to cheer Glenn up,"
Superstore
"but I should not have said that the reporter was only interested"
Superstore
"in your ideas because she was attracted to you."
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"So..."
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"Don't worry about it."
Superstore
"But for the record,"
Superstore
"if someone had said that to you, as a woman,"
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"Yeah, I know. That's wh..."
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"Don't worry about it. It's done!"
Superstore
"Teachable moment."
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"Uh, you know, if the roles were reversed..."
Superstore
"Oh, okay. Nope, sure."
Superstore
"Attention, Cloud 9 employees:"
Superstore
"emergency meeting in the break room."
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"Now!"
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"I'm sorry to interrupt all of your days,"
Superstore
"but I think this would be a good time"
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"for me to go over Cloud 9's policy"
Superstore
"on inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace."
Superstore
"You said this was an emergency!"
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"I know what I said."
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"I was peeing!"
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"I had to cut myself off."
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"It's very uncomfortable."
Superstore
"Now, before I start this seminar,"
Superstore
"does anyone have something they'd like to say?"
Superstore
"Okay, fine."
Superstore
"Sal and I are having sex in the dressing rooms."
Superstore
"I don't even like him."
Superstore
"I have self-esteem issues,"
Superstore
"and I think being with him is a way of me punishing myself."
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"It's messed up."
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"Shut up, Sandra."
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"God, you are such a whiner. Sit down."
Superstore
"Anyone else?"
Superstore
"Okay."
Superstore
"Well, then without further ado, please watch this video"
Superstore
"on inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace."
Superstore
"Oh, my."
Superstore
"Okay!"
Superstore
"- Jonah! - Well, well, well."
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"Oh, my goodness."
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"My boy! That is my boy!"
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"Ugh! I just ate!"
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"Is that how people really kiss now?"
Superstore
"I think we've seen enough."
Superstore
"Why would anybody be attracted to Jonah?"
Superstore
"He looks like a villain on the CW."
Superstore
"Uh, maybe it's because she thought"
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"all of his brilliant ideas were inside his mouth,"
Superstore
"so she had to, like, get in there with her tongue"
Superstore
"- Mm-aww, aww! - Oh, my God."
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"You will spread your legs for anyone"
Superstore
"who will write a story about you, won't you?"
Superstore
"- That has nothing to do... - Jonah."
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"There's about 50 store rules"
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"broken on that tape."
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"I'm sorry."
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"You're..."
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"safe now."
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"Bring it in."
Superstore
"Wow."
Superstore
"You fit right in there perfectly, don't you?"
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"You've been sexually assaulted."
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"- What? - And..."
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"I was hoping you could start to heal"
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"by admitting that here in a safe place, but..."
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"No. No, no."
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"Hey."
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"You didn't do anything wrong."
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"I wasn't assaulted."
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"It wasn't an assault. It was..."
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"- That's what happens. - No, it was..."
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"The person thinks it's their fault."
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"No, he's a victim."
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"You're the only slut in here, Sandra."
Superstore
"Maybe we should all just stop talking about this."
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"No."
Superstore
"and then do the voices of what they're thinking."
Superstore
"- Mm-hmm. - Great."
Superstore
"Sorry ev... Nope."
Superstore
"Let's all give Jonah a round of applause, everybody."
Superstore
"Sorry about the rape, dude."
Superstore
"I guess my philosophy of life is "dare to dream...""
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"But also dream to dare."
Superstore
"Okay, so the article that I'm writing"
Superstore
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