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Clips from Family Guy - Connie's Celica (S18E18)

"I-I don't make the rules."
Family Guy
"Oh, and I suppose now I'll have to start every road trip"
Family Guy
"What am I supposed to do? Masturbate comfortably in bed?"
Family Guy
"The law's the law."
Family Guy
"And I guess I'm gonna have to be on time to every party"
Family Guy
"And so long, Handmaid's Tale, I guess."
Family Guy
"Two or three more jokes, Peter."
Family Guy
"So long, This Is Us."
Family Guy
"Last one, maybe."
Family Guy
"So long, seeing my dining room."
Family Guy
"You got a stronger one to end on?"
Family Guy
"So long, bitchy 2:00 a.m. blanket pulls."
Family Guy
"Ah, there we go."
Family Guy
"(bleep), Peter."
Family Guy
"Whatever I want whenever I want?"
Family Guy
"Yeah, I was right here when you were doing that."
Family Guy
"Oh. I-I didn't hear your laugh."
Family Guy
"I'm more of a smile guy."
Family Guy
"Peter, we have got to prove Lois is innocent."
Family Guy
"That's right. And the best way to crack"
Family Guy
"any high-profile crime case"
Family Guy
"-Okay. -And the key to any podcast"
Family Guy
"is poor sound quality and tons of commercials."
Family Guy
"All right, we've got Lois calling in from prison."
Family Guy
"LOIS (staticky): Thanks for looking at my case, guys."
Family Guy
"You bet, Lois. My first question is..."
Family Guy
"do you get a good night's sleep?"
Family Guy
"No, 'cause I'm in prison, and my cellmate is bipolar."
Family Guy
"Well, if you get a Casper mattress now,"
Family Guy
"if it's the right mattress for you."
Family Guy
"Peter, I don't have time for this."
Family Guy
"I don't have time for underwear that bunches up."
Family Guy
"That's why I wear MeUndies. Perfect underwear"
Family Guy
"for hanging yourself in your jail cell."
Family Guy
"Can we talk about the case? I have 30 seconds"
Family Guy
"before they haul me off to the freaking cafeteria."
Family Guy
"Sounds like you could use Blue Apron."
Family Guy
"Have you ever wanted to receive a vegetable in the mail?"
Family Guy
"Then you need Blue Apron."
Family Guy
"Brian here likes the Moroccan beef."
Family Guy
"I-I have no opinion on the Moroccan beef, Peter."
Family Guy
"Brian, this is not art. This is commerce."
Family Guy
"Peter, before I go, I need a new lawyer."
Family Guy
"This one made a sexual pass at me."
Family Guy
"Oh, boy. Everyone knows hiring is a nightmare."
Family Guy
"At least it was before ZipRecruiter."
Family Guy
"ZipRecruiter: we vastly overestimate"
Family Guy
"how many podcast listeners are in a position to hire someone."
Family Guy
"and look for clues. If you find any, let me know."
Family Guy
"And if you find the yo-yo she took from me,"
Family Guy
"definitely let me know."
Family Guy
"Stupid Lois."
Family Guy
"I'm not gonna use it in the house."
Family Guy
"The Wendy's employee gave it to me"
Family Guy
"if I promised to calm down."
Family Guy
"Peter, this is a dead end."
Family Guy
"All I see here is your Nerf gun from last summer."
Family Guy
"Oh, no way. She said I lost that."
Family Guy
"She deserves to be in jail."
Family Guy
"PETER: Hey!"
Family Guy
"That was very close to my eyes, Peter."
Family Guy
"It wasn't close to your eye."
Family Guy
"-That's why I took it. -It was so far from your eye."
Family Guy
"What are we doing here?"
Family Guy
"Doesn't matter. Everybody knows the way you solve a murder"
Family Guy
"is to ask a barkeep if he knows anything."
Family Guy
"When he says no, you turn around,"
Family Guy
"and then he says "wait" and gives you an important clue."
Family Guy
"Hey, Jerome, do you know anything about Connie's death?"
Family Guy
"No, man. I've just been working here."
Family Guy
"All right, Brian. Let's get out of here."
Family Guy
"-Peter, wait. -Yes?"
Family Guy
"One of the waitresses says you put her tip down her pants."
Family Guy
"Huh. How long were you planning to sit on that little nugget?"
Family Guy
"You just did it."
Family Guy
"Okay, Jerome."
Family Guy
"here's my number."
Family Guy
"Oh, and here's a nickel for the watered-down beer."
Family Guy
"Keep the change."
Family Guy
"How are we gonna solve this case, Peter?"
Family Guy
"I've been thinking about that."
Family Guy
"You're a dog, and I'm a man. Right?"
Family Guy
"So we're basically Scooby-Doo."
Family Guy
"-So, what are you saying? -We go around town"
Family Guy
"and rip off faces until we find the real killer."
Family Guy
"Unless..."
Family Guy
"Which can only mean..."
Family Guy
"(screams)"
Family Guy
"Twins? Guess again."
Family Guy
"The newspaper is embarrassing me."
Family Guy
"Well, kids, we tried."
Family Guy
"I'm afraid your mother's a murderer."
Family Guy
"No, Peter, I'm right here."
Family Guy
"Lois, you escaped!"
Family Guy
"Careful, kids. She killed before."
Family Guy
"-She'll kill again. -JOE: No, Peter, look wider."
Family Guy
"We're all here."
Family Guy
"Turns out Lois didn't kill anyone."
Family Guy
"-(all gasp) -Gasp!"
Family Guy
"We found Connie an hour ago at a motel outside of town."
Family Guy
"Turns out she put a pig in a blonde wig"
Family Guy
"behind the wheel of her car."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, our coroner has been pretty sloppy lately."
Family Guy
"She's been dealing with some substance abuse."
Family Guy
""She"? Interesting."
Family Guy
"And what of the pig?"
Family Guy
"That was a very tough house call."
Family Guy
"Do you have a daughter named Peppa?"
Family Guy
"You're gonna want to sit down."
Family Guy
"Well, Lois, I got to say,"
Family Guy
"it's great to have you home from prison."
Family Guy
"Ah, it's great to be home."
Family Guy
"Hey, I-I got to ask,"
Family Guy
"are-are you gonna stay that jacked forever?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. Do you like it?"
Family Guy
"I-I-I do and I don't, you know?"
Family Guy
"It-it was... it was nice being held up against a wall,"
Family Guy
"but when you made me suck the hairdryer, I-I..."
Family Guy
"I enjoyed it, I did,"
Family Guy
"but I-I don't want to do that specific thing again."
Family Guy
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