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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.4 (S01E01)

"And then a dude will see one of y'all walking by,"
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""man, you got some great boobs.""
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"on their breasts and they will not get angry."
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"Hi, everybody, I'm Lyle,"
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"standing in New York City,"
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"boob capital of North America,"
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"looking for great New York boobs."
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"Do the hustle."
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"Pardon me, can I talk to you for my TV show?"
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"Please, don't run."
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"Hi, guys, I'm Lyle, and you have great New York boobs."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"Jeannie. Jeannie?"
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"You have great New York boobs."
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"Oh!"
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"What?"
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"You have great New York boobs."
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""D" cups, perhaps?"
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"Yes, "C", "C" cups."
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"Well, I'd drink from those "C" cups any day."
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"They rest on my arm like an eagle on a perch."
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"Br-br-br-bromsky."
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"Do the hustle."
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"and this is Joe Rogan from NBC's Fear Factor."
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"Can I tell you something? Yes."
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"you have fabulous genetics."
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"That's all I can tell you"
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"because you helped make a great set of New York boobs."
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"Turn on your TV. Ow."
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"What you gonna see?"
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"(announcer) And now more "Reparations 2003" with Chuck Taylor."
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"If you're just joining us,"
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"black people got their reparations checks today,"
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"and, in short, all hell has broken loose."
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"In sports, the Philadelphia 76ers"
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"took on the New York Knicks,"
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"with Travis Knight."
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"Macculloch had 75 points, beating Knight by 7."
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"but upbeat because he,"
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"quote, finally, feels like he has a big penis."
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"Welcome to the club, buddy,"
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""By whom," you ask?"
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"A Harlem resident named simply... Tron."
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"So, how did you become"
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"the world's wealthiest man, Tron?"
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"Six hours straight, talking 'bout,"
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"clackity, clackity, clackity clack!"
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"Now, you looking at the world's richest man,"
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"and I'm black."
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"Kiss my black ass, America!"
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"I think what everybody wants to know now is,"
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"what are you going to do with all this money?"
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"Uh, I'm gonna reinvest my money into the community."
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"(laughing)"
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"Okay, is that your son?"
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"No, straight up, though, I'm gonna do the real thing,"
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"and spend this money before y'all honkeys"
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"change your minds."
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"On that note, Chuck, we're gonna send it"
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"back to you in the studio now."
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"Hold up, Chuck, I got your girl."
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"Oh, well, if you put it that way..."
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"Anyhow, here with the weather is our old pal,"
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"(nasal) Happy Reparations Day, Happy Juneteenth."
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"Just kidding."
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"at Newscenter 3 hours ago."
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"And I'll tell you something else"
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"This is not my real speaking voice."
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"I talk like straight-up gangster, bitch."
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"Uh, Big Al, seriously,"
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"Oh, I don't know, Chuck."
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"which looks a lot like my big fat ass."
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"and go straight into the Holland Tunnel."
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"here comes a big brown truck."
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"Wait a minute, that ain't no truck!"
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"My God, Big Al, that's disgusting!"
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"I'm paid. I'm paid."
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"Is that "beat boxing?""
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"You old, pasty bastard."
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"Look at you, Chuck, you look sick, man."
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"I'm out."
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"And there you have it."
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"Excuse me."
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"Incredible, I'm receiving word that Colin Powell"
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"has just bitch-slapped Vice President Dick Cheney."
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"White people, run for cover, we'll be right back."
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"Hey, man, we're gonna take a quick commercial break,"
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"with more Chappelle's Show."
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"Kiss the rings, bitch!"
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"Better not bring your kids!"
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"Everybody in this room,"
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"I'd like to thank you for coming to my show."
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"Everybody at home,"
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"clap-clap clap-clap clap."
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"All right, thanks for coming, see you next week."
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"(Chappelle) I'm rich, biatch!"
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"(horn honking)"
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"What is your personal feelings on reparations?"
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"I'll beat the (bleep) out of one of you (bleep)."
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"Heh-heh-heh-hey, that's right."
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"could throw combinations, I'm from the streets."
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"Respect mine."
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"Yeah, yeah."
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"Man, I'm glad that we're not cancelled yet."
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"Uh, tonight I wanted to tackle something kind of serious."
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"And I thought we was just gonna be talking,"
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"I have the tape,"
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"I'd much rather be called "an affirmative action hire""
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"see what else we got here."
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"I will take it a step further..."
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"but if we do, we black people have got to get together,"
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"I'm rich, biatch!"
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"Chuck, a lot of activity,"
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"These people are spending money like hotcakes."
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"these people just seem to be breaking their necks"
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"with their taste for expensive clothes,"
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"on an already amazing day, Chuck."
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""Cigarette smoking can result in feelings of euphoria,"
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"Man, we're just having us a blast here in the studio."
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"'Scuse me, pardon me, miss."
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