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Clips from The Simpsons - Jaws Wired Shut (S13E13)

""What beverage brewed since ancient times"
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""is made from hops and grains?""
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"How about ancient hop grain juice?"
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"Beer! Beer! Beer!"
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"Beer, beer, beer!"
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"What are you doing? You're getting some kind of booze all over me!"
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"Time's up! The answer is beer!"
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"Ooh. Duff luck."
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"I never would've figured that out."
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"Most people with their jaws wired shut don't gain weight."
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""How was your day?" Do you really want to know?"
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"Uh-huh."
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"Well, let's see."
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"I was in the kitchen counting the corncobs on the curtains,"
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"when who should ring the doorbell but Ned Flanders."
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"It seems he wants to ban culottes in the schools."
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"Marge thinks Flanders is annoying."
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"This marriage just got interesting."
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"She's so cute."
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"Ah!"
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"You want to know what happened?"
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"Really?"
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"We were playing foursquare and I called no double taps,"
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"and Ralph double taps."
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"And I said, "You're out," and he says, "I can do a summersault,""
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"Aw!"
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"Maybe a hug will cork her cry hole."
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"Thanks for listening, Dad."
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"We gotta coordinate on this thing."
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"Uh-huh."
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"So the substitute teacher comes in"
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"and everyone's looking at me like, "Take it, Bart. Run with it. ""
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"Then it hits me. I've become a clown."
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"A class clown. And it sickens me."
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"Wow, Bart has feelings."
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"Mrs. Doody."
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"Three wars back we called sauerkraut "liberty cabbage,""
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"and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw!""
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"And back then, a suitcase was known as a Swedish lunchbox."
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"'Course, nobody knew that but me."
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"Anyway, "Long story short""
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"is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling."
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"You know, tomorrow is the Annual Springfield Formal Event."
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"That donkey is such a bad influence on you."
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"But breaking your jaw has made you so sweet."
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"Mmm. I better polish those jaw wires for tomorrow."
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"Uh-huh!"
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"So, how are we enjoying the festivities?"
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"Yes. The music is from southern Hungary."
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"That's quite an ear. Have some money."
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"Your husband is quite the gentleman."
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"Most people laugh at my googly eye."
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"Well, I've never seen a man"
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"My husband, Maxtone Witherball, has already had three shrimp!"
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"Thank you."
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"This has been one of the most magical evenings of my life."
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"I'm horny."
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"Oh, Homer. This is the kind of night"
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"I thought we could never have together."
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"Mmm-mmm."
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"and I can remove those jaw wires."
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"You'll be just the way you used to be."
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"And Reverend, I'll put in those pec implants on Thursday."
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"Super."
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"Homer, your breath smells terrible."
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"I'll have to take off my shoes to cover the odor."
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"Nicely done."
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"And when I couldn't talk, I learned to listen."
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"I learned so much about my family."
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"You'd be surprised how much you hear"
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"if you just listen once in awhile."
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"Really? Let's try it."
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"Hello? Yeah. I'd like to arrange for an escort, please."
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"Oh! Hey. How you doing?"
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"I was just telling all the guys"
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"how losing the power of speech made me a better man."
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"You're today's modern, enlightened man,"
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"the kind we television producers"
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"have been booking since the mid '70s."
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"Hey, what are you doing in here?"
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"I'm an alcoholic."
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"Homer, will you appear on my show?"
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"Today we will meet a man who couldn't open his mouth,"
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"so he learned to open his heart."
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"Please welcome Homer and Marge Simpson."
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"So, Marge, tell."
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"What's it like kissing a man with a mouth full of metal?"
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"My boyfriend has a metal tongue stud."
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"Who cares what's on his tongue,"
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"as long as he's a stud where it counts!"
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"I'm talking downtown!"
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"Marge, what was Homer like before he broke his jaw?"
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"Well, he would eat all the time."
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"We'd be making love"
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"and he'd have a mouth full of Hershey's Miniatures."
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"Krackel was my favorite."
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"I'm talking downtown!"
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"And before he broke his jaw he never listened,"
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"but now he takes to heart everything I say."
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"Well, as much as humanly possible."
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"Well, Marge told us when you didn't listen,"
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"it led to weckless, criminal behavior."
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"He did such crazy things. Roll the clip."
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"Ostrich burgers! Get your ostrich burgers!"
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"I'll take one."
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"Hmm."
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"Hey there, little sweet..."
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"Dude, I thought we were friends!"
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"Well, I'm not proud of that clip."
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"Homela, it's easy to change, but what's hard is not changing back."
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"Do you promise not to revive your weckless, weckless ways?"
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"I don't know. The Demolition Derby is next month."
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"Please, Homie? No more craziness? For me?"
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"Well, okay. For you, I'll be as dull as Dilbert."
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"Very good. Our next topic, "My Son Still Wets the Bed. ""
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"You told me we were going to Red Lobster!"
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"I'm gonna kill you!"
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"Well, so much for the new Homer."
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"What's going on?"
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