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Clips from New Girl - Control (S01E01)

"Look. We got the birds in the sky."
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"The sea and the sand."
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"The wind in our hair."
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"You lost your kite!"
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"Have fun flying your string all day!"
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"Sorry, I forgot my wallet. Thank you for paying, it's delicious."
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"- I still forgot it. You said that. - You still forget it."
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"- We're getting older. - Okay, this is a good segue."
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"Can I talk to you about something that's kind of tough?"
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"Yeah, man. Shoot."
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""The subject of this talk is the debt of money between us."
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"- I feel that..." - Oh. Man!"
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"I thought this was about something serious."
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"You set that up like it was different. This is about the poker?"
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"I'll pay you your money. Relax."
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""If I am reading this section, I can only assume you have told me to relax.""
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"- You wrote that. - "Let me assure you..."
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"I am relaxed, although, I have reason not to be..."
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"as you owe me a very large sum." - I will pay you the money."
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""I am aware that we're both broke."
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"One of us, embarrassingly so. Points to Nick."
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"I have recently tumbled down the socioeconomic ladder, hit rock bottom..."
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"where you, Nick Miller, have been waiting patiently for the past 15 years."
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"But I want that money. Give me my money."
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"I really mean it. It's my money."
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"You owe me that money, so give me my money, seriously.""
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"- Finished? - "Where's the money, dude?""
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"- You wrote "dude"? - "But I am not without pity."
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"I am willing to just call it an even $200.""
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"- Everything? Like the... With just $200? - Right."
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"All right, I can do 200."
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"- Two hundred dollars? Two hundo clean? - Yeah."
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"- All right. - Yeah."
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"I did pay for gas here, though."
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"So that's, let's say, 10 bucks."
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"So we're at 190. We'll say a clean 190."
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"I hate to be this guy."
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"But I got the fights on Friday, so that's 30."
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"So let's call it 160 and be done with it."
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"Twenty dollars for beer that night, so 160 takes us to 140. Just to be fair."
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"I didn't write a stupid letter about it. But let's say right now 140."
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"You ate a lot of the nachos!"
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"Littering! Fifteen dollars for littering!"
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"What a way to live a life"
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"How fun is this?"
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"It's not my cup of tea."
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"Don't you know that life don't wait for death?"
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"No, no, no! Jess, no!"
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"I can't believe I never noticed this before, but Schmidt, you are legitimately crazy."
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"We're all a little bit crazy, don't you think?"
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"No, you're like aging-ballerina..."
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"child-chess-prodigy, professional-magician crazy."
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"It's my mom's fault."
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"I come from a Jewish family..."
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"but she told me Santa didn't come to our house because my room was dirty."
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"The only thing I ever controlled was what I ate, so I got fat."
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"I got fat because I ate Concord grape jelly from the jar using a candy bar as a fork."
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"Because you didn't have any structure. Know what I mean?"
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"It's what happens when you don't have any rules."
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"None of these people have rules."
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"Especially that guy. He's wearing ladies' bikini bottom."
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"Jess, I'm not like these people, okay? I don't have dreadlocks, I don't own a snake."
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"And I don't understand how they think they're relaxed, they have nothing to do."
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"- It's not me. It's not that easy for me. - Sounds to me like a lot of excuses, Schmidt."
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"Just be spontaneous."
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"Hey, Nick."
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"Look, I'm sorry to bother you while you're clearly working hard, making money."
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"- All right. - Kindly pause that for one second..."
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"I have a few accounts that I'd like to settle."
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"Account number one: A $15 receipt for a Chinatown box turtle."
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"- Bam. Here we go. - We're doing this?"
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"- Yeah, we are. - Great."
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"Item number two: Cancelled $35 check..."
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"for registration of a domain name: LtsNickMillerTime. Com"
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""Hey, guys, I've got a good idea. I'm gonna be a blogger.""
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"I have to go to work at a bar where you drink for free."
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"- Wow. - How much does 400..."
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"cognac and colas add up to? - You wanna go there?"
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"How about all the times I sat listening to you bitch about how..."
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"saw my mom naked before she stopped exercising..."
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"and let herself get chubby. Okay?"
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"So how much is that in terms of money? I haven't gotten over that."
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"Now I'd say 4 to 5 thousand dollars."
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"Hey, guys. - Winston saw my mother naked in 8th grade."
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"- In terms of money... - I went in the ocean without my aqua socks."
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"- He did it. He let go. - I did it."
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"He washed his hands in a public restroom."
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"And there was a man in there using the toilet..."
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"That's not letting go, that's cruising."
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"Hey, Schmidt."
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"- There's a spill. - I know."
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"Do your exercise. You know."
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"Yeah, okay, the exercise, yeah."
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"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10."
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"I feel great."
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"I'm gonna go take a shower with Nick's bar of soap like a common ranch-hand."
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"- No, no, no. - What is going on?"
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"- You messed with the ecosystem. - And you guys said it couldn't be done."
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"- You have no idea what you're getting into. - You're welcome."
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"Schmidt, you're killing me with that drumming! You're killing me!"
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"Look at this mess. How did this happen?"
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"So this is your fault."
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"No. No. This is good for Schmidt."
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"You guys have been taking advantage of him for years."
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"- You make him cook, make him clean. - Where is my money, dude?"
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"Frankly, it's..."
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"sexist. Oh, my God. Ew. - How is it sexist?"
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"- Who's cleaning up? - I cleaned this morning."
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"All right, fine. I'll clean. You go to the store."
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"- I'm not going with him. - I'm not going."
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"Stop throwing things at each other. - Where's my money?"
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"Come on. You're gonna get hurt."
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"- You're a child. - Silence, friends."
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"- I made you necklaces. - Hey, do you wanna go to the store?"
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"Please, God, yes."
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"A hundred dollars? How does Schmidt buy groceries with 100 bucks?"
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"- It's only $100? - A hundred."
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"We have way too much stuff."
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"- Sorry about that. - Really? Really?"
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"- Two cake mixes? All these soups? - Pizza? Frozen pizza, you fat-ass?"
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