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Clips from NewsRadio - Wedding (S05E05)

"I should have known that. You're homeless."
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"Wow, Johnny,"
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"Diamonds should be about two month's salary."
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"Yeah, but Johnny,"
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"for you, that should come up to about $30."
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"What can I say? I splurged. Uh-huh."
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"Hey, Johnny. There's some guy back there."
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"He says he had to talk to you about something."
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"Well, I better take this."
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"I'll be right back. Oh-oh."
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"Hey, Dave? Dave? Mm?"
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"I'm fine. I'm fine. I don't think so."
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"I'll fill in for you. No, no, Max."
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"Do you have the ring? Yes."
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"I don't give it to Lisa. I give it to Johnny"
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"and Johnny gives it to Lisa. Ah!"
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"Well done."
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"Listen, uh, I really appreciate this."
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"I really do. Yeah."
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"Who was that? That's the guy who tosses salad"
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"to the theme from Rocky."
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"He's, uh, waiting for the DJ."
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"Ah."
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"Oh, there's our cue."
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"♪ Hey little sister What have you done? ♪"
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"♪ Hey little sister Who's the only one? ♪"
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"Beth, what are you doing?"
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"Sing something traditional."
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"Look, look, Lohengrin, and hit it."
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"♪ Here comes the bride ♪"
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"♪ Here comes the bride ♪"
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"♪ Hmm hmm the bride Hmm bride ♪"
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"♪ Here comes the bride Here comes the bride ♪"
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"[WAILING]"
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"[SCREAMS]"
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"I gotta go."
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"[WAILS]"
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"♪ Let go of Lisa ♪"
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"♪ Let go of Liiiiiiisaaaa ♪"
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"[CRIES]"
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"In lieu of the usual ceremony, Johnny and Lisa have elected"
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"to recite vows that they have composed themselves."
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"My little surprise."
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"Lisa, radiant, pink-fingered dawn,"
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"you are more than my world. You are my universe."
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"Let us be one."
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"And in our oneness,"
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"JUDGE: Lisa."
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"I didn't know."
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"Hm. Just speak from your heart."
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"Johnny,"
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"you are my sunshine."
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"My--"
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"My--"
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"should not be married"
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"Johnny's a homeless wino"
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"and they've only been engaged for a week."
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"[CHUCKLES]"
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"Do you have the ring?"
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"Yes. Ah!"
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"By the power vested in me by the state of Connecticut"
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"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
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"You may kiss the bride."
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"You have the right to remain silent."
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"I need the ring. What?"
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"I need the ring. Hey. Hey!"
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"I'll explain later, doll-face. Save a piece of cake for me."
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"Yeah, okay."
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"All right, thanks."
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"All right, so it seems, Johnny didn't exactly"
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"buy the wedding ring. He stole it."
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"Well, so much for the legendary hobo gold."
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"It was a theory. Ah, yeah."
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"All right, according to the police report,"
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"it was, and I quote"
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""a daring daylight raid on a jewelry store.""
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"And he sort of held the salesman hostage for an hour or two."
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"Yeah. Gorgeous setting. Yeah, it was."
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"But apparently Johnny, uh, sweet-talked the cop"
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"into, uh, not arresting him until after the ceremony."
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"Mr. James, did you have him thrown in jail"
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"because he had you thrown in jail?"
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"No. Of course I did not, Joe."
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"Although, it would have been awesome."
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"Lisa,"
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"I chased the police car."
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"But it didn't stop."
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"[PANTING]: The cop mentioned something about that to me"
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"as he was peeling me off the bumper."
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"Thanks. Thanks, Leon. Thanks."
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"Say hello to Margie and the kids."
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"Go ahead there, sweetie."
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"My bride."
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"No, Mr. James. Get back in here. I-- I don't--"
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"Uh, let's not be too hasty, peapod."
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"We might want to take advantage."
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"Uh, I'm not sure they'll hold our room in Waikiki."
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"Okay-dokey. No."
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"Would you just help me out here, Mr. James?"
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"Why did you do it?"
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"I had to, purry-blossom."
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"You're a successful career woman who deserves the best."
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"So you held up a salesperson at knifepoint?"
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"Well, the knife was in my pocket."
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"It was totally unpremeditated. Totally what he said."
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"What about the dynamite strapped to his chest?"
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"That was planned."
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"Baby, you know I was gonna pay for the ring anonymously"
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"I don't know. Maybe it's me."
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"I'm getting a real gift of the magi vibe here--"
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"His heart's in prison. I can take care of that."
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"As a wedding gift, I'm gonna give you"
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"the best, the finest legal representation there is."
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"We're gonna get the charges dismissed."
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"Then we just forget about the whole thing. What do you think?"
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"Jim, you already got us that toaster oven."
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"Well, I can return that."
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"I want to beat the rap,"
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"that's what an evil guy would do."
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"Lisa Miller does not deserve an evil husband."
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