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Clips from NewsRadio - Wedding (S05E05)

I did the crime. I'll do the time.

"I did the crime. I'll do the time."

NewsRadio

Hm, I didn't think it was necessary.

"Hm, I didn't think it was necessary."

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But if, uh,

"But if, uh,"

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you want to get this whole thing annulled,

"you want to get this whole thing annulled,"

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All right.

"All right."

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Guard!

"Guard!"

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No, that's okay. I got it, sweetie.

"No, that's okay. I got it, sweetie."

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But know this.

"But know this."

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Even as my body endures the nightmare world of imprisonment,

"Even as my body endures the nightmare world of imprisonment,"

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my spirit soars free,

"my spirit soars free,"

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just remembering the sweet fragrance of Lisa Miller.

"just remembering the sweet fragrance of Lisa Miller."

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Oh, Johnny.

"Oh, Johnny."

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[CRIES]

"[CRIES]"

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I always thought I'd be the one to marry a prisoner.

"I always thought I'd be the one to marry a prisoner."

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Well, it's a crazy world.

"Well, it's a crazy world."

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She doesn't even write letters to prisoners.

"She doesn't even write letters to prisoners."

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A guy who allegedly steals a little ring,

"A guy who allegedly steals a little ring,"

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or the hard ass who crashes his wedding

"or the hard ass who crashes his wedding"

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and has him arrested?

"and has him arrested?"

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That's just rude.

"That's just rude."

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The rule is, you've got three strikes against you.

"The rule is, you've got three strikes against you."

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Johnny's got two.

"Johnny's got two."

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How the hell do you figure that?

"How the hell do you figure that?"

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Well, he's evil.

"Well, he's evil."

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Strike one.

"Strike one."

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And he's a wino. Strike two.

"And he's a wino. Strike two."

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with dynamite strapped to his chest

"with dynamite strapped to his chest"

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Oh, hey.

"Oh, hey."

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Lisa, great wedding.

"Lisa, great wedding."

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Great wedding.

"Great wedding."

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'Cause you look good in it.

"'Cause you look good in it."

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Go ahead. Say it.

"Go ahead. Say it."

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No. Dave, I-I-I want you to say it.

"No. Dave, I-I-I want you to say it."

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Just say it. I don't want to.

"Just say it. I don't want to."

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No, really, I need you to say it. I don't--

"No, really, I need you to say it. I don't--"

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I'm demanding-- No.

"I'm demanding-- No."

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Fine.

"Fine."

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I told you so.

"I told you so."

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I know. I know.

"I know. I know."

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How could I have been so stupid?

"How could I have been so stupid?"

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I know. I know. But, uh--

"I know. I know. But, uh--"

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So what are you gonna do now, huh?

"So what are you gonna do now, huh?"

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I'm going to get an annulment.

"I'm going to get an annulment."

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Yeah. Well, that's probably for the best.

"Yeah. Well, that's probably for the best."

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[SIGHS] Yeah.

"[SIGHS] Yeah."

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I think it's definitely, definitely, uh, absolutely

"I think it's definitely, definitely, uh, absolutely"

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you know, it's certainly the best thing.

"you know, it's certainly the best thing."

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It's really beyond the best thing.

"It's really beyond the best thing."

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Yeah. It's a good thing.

"Yeah. It's a good thing."

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Yeah. It's a really,

"Yeah. It's a really,"

NewsRadio

Dave.

"Dave."

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Honey, I know all this time I-I-I wa-- I was--

"Honey, I know all this time I-I-I wa-- I was--"

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I was having for Johnny.

"I was having for Johnny."

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And what I should have been doing is ignoring them, just--

"And what I should have been doing is ignoring them, just--"

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But this is too much. It's just too--

"But this is too much. It's just too--"

NewsRadio

It's too much. Yeah.

"It's too much. Yeah."

NewsRadio

It's over. It's over. It's over. Uh-huh.

"It's over. It's over. It's over. Uh-huh."

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[SIGHS]

"[SIGHS]"

NewsRadio

It's a relief. Uh-huh, well.

"It's a relief. Uh-huh, well."

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Yeah, I imagine so, you know?

"Yeah, I imagine so, you know?"

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Although-- Hum.

"Although-- Hum."

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Yeah, right. No, really.

"Yeah, right. No, really."

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I mean, having a husband doing two years in prison

"I mean, having a husband doing two years in prison"

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that's a great way to balance, you know,

"that's a great way to balance, you know,"

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a marriage and a career.

"a marriage and a career."

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[GIGGLES]

"[GIGGLES]"

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In a funny kind of way, huh? Yeah.

"In a funny kind of way, huh? Yeah."

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I mean, you-- You know how into my career I am right now.

"I mean, you-- You know how into my career I am right now."

NewsRadio

You know that. Yeah. Lisa, I was joking.

"You know that. Yeah. Lisa, I was joking."

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Sit back down.

"Sit back down."

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it's not like he's homeless anymore.

"it's not like he's homeless anymore."

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No. He's in jail. Yeah.

"No. He's in jail. Yeah."

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to straighten up than jail? Uh, uh, Lisa!

"to straighten up than jail? Uh, uh, Lisa!"

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No, you're not. No you're- no.

"No, you're not. No you're- no."

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No, y-you're just clinging to the flimsiest pretext

"No, y-you're just clinging to the flimsiest pretext"

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to try and justify your feelings for Johnny.

"to try and justify your feelings for Johnny."

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Dave, don't be so hard on yourself.

"Dave, don't be so hard on yourself."

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It's a good pretext.

"It's a good pretext."

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This could work. No, it couldn't.

"This could work. No, it couldn't."

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They still allow conjugal visits, don't they?

"They still allow conjugal visits, don't they?"

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Yes. Oh!

"Yes. Oh!"

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Aw!

"Aw!"

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Thank you, Dave.

"Thank you, Dave."

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Oh, no.

"Oh, no."

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Human joke machine.

"Human joke machine."

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Always, hm, always cracking wise.

"Always, hm, always cracking wise."

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Oh.

"Oh."

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[KNOCKS ON GLASS]

"[KNOCKS ON GLASS]"

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Everyone, I think it's appropriate at this time--

"Everyone, I think it's appropriate at this time--"

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Oh, may I?

"Oh, may I?"

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for making this reception possible.

"for making this reception possible."

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bribing the guards and prison officials.

"bribing the guards and prison officials."

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Yeah. He's not joking. I really did that.

"Yeah. He's not joking. I really did that."

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Thank you, Freddie. Aagh!

"Thank you, Freddie. Aagh!"

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And now, I-I know it also comes as no surprise to anyone here

"And now, I-I know it also comes as no surprise to anyone here"

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that I was-- Somewhat opposed to this wedding initially.

"that I was-- Somewhat opposed to this wedding initially."

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I thought it to be reckless and irresponsible.

"I thought it to be reckless and irresponsible."

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before Johnny and Lisa,

"before Johnny and Lisa,"

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and I say,

"and I say,"

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I am still opposed to this reckless

"I am still opposed to this reckless"

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and irresponsible wedding.

"and irresponsible wedding."

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Thank God, I have three to five years

"Thank God, I have three to five years"

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to convince Lisa to get out.

"to convince Lisa to get out."

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To get out.

"To get out."

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JIMMY: I think someone's had a bit too much to drink there.

"JIMMY: I think someone's had a bit too much to drink there."

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Lisa, you wanna do the cake? Everybody,

"Lisa, you wanna do the cake? Everybody,"

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raise their glass

"raise their glass"

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to Johnny and Lisa.

"to Johnny and Lisa."

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Mm. Ah.

"Mm. Ah."

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♪ It's a nice day For a white wedding ♪

"♪ It's a nice day For a white wedding ♪"

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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it's when you're making

"it's when you're making"

NewsRadio

Hm, Mr. James I know you've done so much for us already

"Hm, Mr. James I know you've done so much for us already"

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Oh, right. 'Cause hobo dogs usually have an eye patch

"Oh, right. 'Cause hobo dogs usually have an eye patch"

NewsRadio

LISA [MUMBLING]: No, you don't.

"LISA [MUMBLING]: No, you don't."

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You didn't. --thought has nothing to do

"You didn't. --thought has nothing to do"

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Are you sure you're not stupid?

"Are you sure you're not stupid?"

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It is. You know the rule of thumb.

"It is. You know the rule of thumb."

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What-- How did you afford this?

"What-- How did you afford this?"

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Lisa said I could choose my own music.

"Lisa said I could choose my own music."

NewsRadio

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