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Clips from The Simpsons - Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me? (S31E31)

"I don't understand, but I'll bury you."
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"Tell you what. I'll give you your pants back"
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"-if you can answer this last one. -Uh-huh."
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"-What has two hairs on top... -Right."
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"-...is somebody's dad... -Somebody's dad, yes."
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"...and starting right now he's getting quite mad?"
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"(kids laughing)"
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"(Bart laughs)"
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"Can we take pictures?"
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"FLANDERS: That Simpson house"
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"will put the fear of God in him."
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"Give me your pants."
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"Todd Flanders, I cast thee out."
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"¶ So now we have to cast him out ¶"
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"¶ You'll learn the Lord is sweet ¶"
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"¶ On his journey of 40 feet. ¶"
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"Daddy, do you love me more now?"
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"(chuckles) Just by asking,"
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"you have committed the sin of pride."
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"Yes, Ned, yes."
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"Right, right. No wizards."
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"No pagans. No wild things."
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"How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar?"
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"No, that celebrates gluttony."
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"Clifford the Big Red Dog?"
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"(scoffs) Clifford the satanic abomination."
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"Not me."
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"Todd. Psst! Todd."
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"I know what it's like to leave the faith of your family."
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"Thank you so much, Lisa."
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"At last, someone gets it."
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"(new age music playing)"
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"But have I got a god for you."
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"Consider the Buddha. He brings peace from within."
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"He avoids the pitfalls of ego,"
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"What happens when you die?"
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"You get reincarnated as a human or an animal or a ghost."
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"Pass. Buddha's no god, and neither is God."
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"Don't worry, I'll get him."
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"By the way, what did you reincarnate David Bowie as?"
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"Help me, love. It's Bowie."
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"Where's Todd?"
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"It was horrible."
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"(exclaiming)"
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"You're talking to me directly?"
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"ELDERLY FEMALE VOICE: Being with him"
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"has made me so tired."
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"HOMER: Hey, Marge,"
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"you may have noticed"
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"I can't. I can't."
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"Not with Todd in the house."
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"-He'll hear us. -No, he won't."
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"TODD: Yes, I will!"
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"Oof! Got to get rid of that kid."
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"Oh, my goodness!"
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"The face of our Lord and Savior"
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"in a humble piece of toast?"
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"Clearly, no human could have made this."
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"Huh?"
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"And the Lord said,"
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""Take this and eat, for I am the toast of the town.""
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"-You drew that on. -No, no."
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"God drew it on. Look, he signed it."
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""Jebus." See?"
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"Why would God make toast that looked like Jesus?"
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"'Cause parents are always showing off pictures"
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"-of their kids? -(munching)"
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"(sobbing)"
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"¶ What is good ¶"
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"¶ And what is sin ¶"
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"Yo, this is Todd."
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"I have to share my room until he believes in God again."
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"You don't believe in God? Well, that's crazy."
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"Who else but an all-loving, omnipotent being"
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"could create beautiful wedgies and purple nurples?"
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"Not so fast."
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"and you're all my mental projections?"
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"Project this!"
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"I must have wanted this to happen!"
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"So now that you see how bad kids turn out,"
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"you want to go home, right?"
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"Stop using us as examples!"
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"I believe your friends are all going to Hell."
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"-Whoa! -Yeah! -Cool!"
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"TODD: I hear you!"
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"TODD: I don't know, but I heard that."
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"TODD: Yes, I can."
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"You're unbuttoning your shirt, Mr. Simpson."
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"What does that paper say?"
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"LISA: Oh. Hi, Todd."
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"Still seeking enlightenment?"
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"I told you, not now."
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"Maybe I'll reconsider your stupid beliefs"
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"In Buddhism, that's halfway to "yes"!"
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"Look, Todd, you don't have to believe."
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"In church, just smile and nod, but be sleeping on the inside."
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"That works at work, too."
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"But I really don't believe."
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"I'm sad because my mommy's gone and never coming back."
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"You know how that feels?"
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"Oh, do I."
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"Oh, no, don't relive it. Don't!"
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"You never cook anything worth eating."
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"Well, who wants to cook for a failure?"
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"Good God, woman, why did you marry me?"
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"To piss off my mother, and it worked!"
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"Tell the kid I love him, but I'm as bad at goodbyes"
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"-as I am at picking husbands. -(Grampa groaning)"
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"(crying): My mom is gone."
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"And so is my ice cream."
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"And so is my hair!"
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"Moe, I got to get drunk. And fast."
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"FLANDERS: I'll take one, too."
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"I'm losing everything. Just give me a drink!"
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"I'm sorry, Flanders. I can't pour you a drink."
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"Please. I'm begging you."
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"¶ Allelujah ¶"
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"¶ Raise your mug and drink it down ¶"
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"BARITONE SINGER: ¶ In the worst bar ¶"
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"¶ In this town ¶"
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