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Clips from Scrubs - My Dumb Luck (S07E07)

"Bye-bye."
Scrubs
"Since Elliot revealed that Dr Kelso is 65,"
Scrubs
"that female staffers couldn't wear open-toed shoes."
Scrubs
"Obviously, this is much worse."
Scrubs
"I feel like I've given my life to this place and got nothing in return."
Scrubs
"- You guys are gonna help, right? - Of course."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox had a patient that he hadn't been able to diagnose for two years."
Scrubs
"so I'm gonna go ahead and treat your heart palpitations with beta blockers."
Scrubs
"Wow, you must have felt like a real jackass."
Scrubs
"Okay, now just stay calm so he doesn't know what you're up to."
Scrubs
"Oh, no. Turk's breaking."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God. That was amazing. I've never felt so alive in my whole life."
Scrubs
"- We made it. I love you, man. - I love you, too."
Scrubs
"You smell like an athlete."
Scrubs
"No, a black friend. I think it would make me much cooler."
Scrubs
"Why are you so gloomy?"
Scrubs
"I thought you'd be super-psyched that Kelso's being forced out of his job."
Scrubs
"Will you excuse me for a moment?"
Scrubs
"Holy cow. Buddy, are you all right?"
Scrubs
"Ted?"
Scrubs
"Actually, sir, my shift is about to start, so I should..."
Scrubs
"Son, I don't care if the cure for cancer was laughter"
Scrubs
"and you had Nipsey Russell in your backpack. Park it."
Scrubs
"What's that strange red puddle oozing towards us?"
Scrubs
"That's just Ted's blood."
Scrubs
"Apparently, he bit off a chunk of his tongue."
Scrubs
"Here's some painkillers."
Scrubs
"I want you to take one of those every four hours, okay?"
Scrubs
"I keep thinking about Kelso. He reminds me of my grandpa."
Scrubs
"He's pervy, demeaning, and an eensy bit racist,"
Scrubs
"but you crave his love anyway because he smells like peppermint."
Scrubs
"everybody here wants us to help him keep it."
Scrubs
"- For starters... - You know what?"
Scrubs
"Board members hate confrontation."
Scrubs
"Just show up at the hospital with all the movers and shakers"
Scrubs
"All right."
Scrubs
"Okay, I'll support Kelso."
Scrubs
"I want you to put me in a full body cast and take me to the airport."
Scrubs
"- Come on. - You handle this. And be nice."
Scrubs
"All right."
Scrubs
"Fall."
Scrubs
"I think this might be the thousandth time I've peed in a cup for you, Doc."
Scrubs
"- Hard to celebrate? - Yeah."
Scrubs
"I got it."
Scrubs
"The only way I've been able to bind them together is with this bike bungee."
Scrubs
"Hang on to that for a second, will you, please?"
Scrubs
"I don't think he realises we were making fun of him earlier."
Scrubs
"Oh, boy."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry, dude. That was awesome."
Scrubs
"Turk and I are gonna help you diagnose this patient."
Scrubs
"That's terrific because I'm so darn lost, I just keep procrastinating."
Scrubs
"to see which of my favourite celebs is bringing back the fedora."
Scrubs
"It's Johnny Depp, by the way."
Scrubs
"- He doesn't think we could help. - I'd look good in a fedora."
Scrubs
"Turk, focus. We're being insulted."
Scrubs
"I'm tired of you not focusing when someone insults us."
Scrubs
"Hey, if you really want to be useful,"
Scrubs
"Follow me."
Scrubs
"A year later Seth actually did kill Millie."
Scrubs
"and that spring, we caught another intern cradling her dead head."
Scrubs
"Can't believe that was almost 40 years ago."
Scrubs
"You tell them, Mandelbaum!"
Scrubs
"Hey, slick."
Scrubs
"he'll do anything for you."
Scrubs
"Come on."
Scrubs
"Deep down, I hate Bob Kelso and wish he would die painfully."
Scrubs
"Look, Kelso's a pain in the ass. You know what I say?"
Scrubs
"Bring on the next pain in the ass."
Scrubs
"I'm on it, slick."
Scrubs
"No clue. We have to find it or he's gonna kill us."
Scrubs
"Us? Try you. He's not killing me."
Scrubs
"Why is it getting harder to walk?"
Scrubs
"That was lucky."
Scrubs
"What? No."
Scrubs
"Super."
Scrubs
"It was ectopic and she was bleeding internally."
Scrubs
"Sometimes I look at this old hospital,"
Scrubs
"Priceless."
Scrubs
"But I do see them sometimes."
Scrubs
"We don't need Dr Cox, you know?"
Scrubs
"We'll round up everyone else. And not just the doctors,"
Scrubs
"Good idea. Ted?"
Scrubs
"begging for just one sip of cool Janitor forgiveness."
Scrubs
"Please, Janitor."
Scrubs
"All right, I'm in. Doggone it."
Scrubs
"I cannot resist that adorable mug of yours."
Scrubs
"Okay. So we just have to round up everyone else."
Scrubs
"That was impossible."
Scrubs
"- Where did I leave that stupid pee? - Dude, retrace your steps."
Scrubs
"- Then I got paged to surgery. - Right."
Scrubs
"And I came with you to cheer you on and to hold your fedora."
Scrubs
"And then we went out to the ramp to celebrate."
Scrubs
"You know, those two remind me"
Scrubs
"of a couple of dogs I had when I was a boy."
Scrubs
"One day, JoJo got his head stuck in the mailbox"
Scrubs
"and Spike went over to try to help him and got his head wedged in there, too,"
Scrubs
"They were extremely dumb animals, but close."
Scrubs
"That's it. We left it in the sun."
Scrubs
""If urine exposed to UV light turns purple,"
Scrubs
""it's a sign of a rare genetic disorder called Acute Intermittent Porphyria."
Scrubs
""Symptoms include bloating, high blood pressure, seizures.""
Scrubs
"We figured it out."
Scrubs
"One, two, three."
Scrubs
"In his face!"
Scrubs
"Or how you can often have more questions than answers."
Scrubs
"I just don't understand why no one will help us save Kelso's job."
Scrubs
"That's easy. Word got out that he wants Kelso gone."
Scrubs
"And no one wants to cross him because he's a scary guy."
Scrubs
"Now I'm not scared of him, but that's because I'm magic."
Scrubs
"Or how every day in this place is made up of little battles."
Scrubs
"there's not much you can do to stop it."
Scrubs
"Or how patients don't appreciate their doctors any more."
Scrubs
"- You already said that one, sir. - Son, my blood sugar is low,"
Scrubs
"and unless you have a candy bar in that gay little knapsack of yours,"
Scrubs
"Or how if you get to the cafeteria past 5:00, they're always out of pie."
Scrubs
"Damn it!"
Scrubs
"What, do you buy, like, one pie for the whole hospital?"
Scrubs
"We want you to reconsider helping Kelso."
Scrubs
"Could I get a "hell, no" from any random doctor?"
Scrubs
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get far, far away from annoying people,"
Scrubs
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