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Clips from Scrubs - My Dumb Luck (S07E07)

"especially whiny childless blondes with stained coffee teeth."
Scrubs
"What the hell is this?"
Scrubs
"Stop saying mean things about me! I'm not even talking to you!"
Scrubs
"We diagnosed your patient, buddy."
Scrubs
"- He's got Acute Intermittent Porphyria. - What?"
Scrubs
"Reaganomics was in full swing,"
Scrubs
"Wrong-o."
Scrubs
"I realised fast that in order to keep this old place going,"
Scrubs
"And here comes my biggest fan."
Scrubs
"Bob, there is finally a diagnosis on Mr Macrae."
Scrubs
"He has Acute Intermittent Porphyria,"
Scrubs
"and now his insurance company wants him discharged immediately."
Scrubs
"- No. - I realise that your heart is made up"
Scrubs
"to get out the muffin bits and baby souls stuck in there,"
Scrubs
"Damn it, I'm still Chief."
Scrubs
"that you will publish a paper on the case. Deal?"
Scrubs
"He'll never publish a paper on that case."
Scrubs
"but he walks away victorious more often than not."
Scrubs
"There's gotta be a way to get Dr Cox to change his mind."
Scrubs
"Perry does not sway so easily."
Scrubs
"if you showed him your cans."
Scrubs
"Don't even have to show him both."
Scrubs
"The left one's cooler. Looks like a sea lion's face."
Scrubs
"Oh, my God, enough."
Scrubs
"So here's the truth,"
Scrubs
"The universe makes sense again."
Scrubs
"That's an otter."
Scrubs
"But you know that, don't you?"
Scrubs
"Boon. My name is Boon."
Scrubs
"Really? Thank you, sir."
Scrubs
"So you think my next 20 years here will be a nightmare?"
Scrubs
"I have news, Mr Macrae."
Scrubs
"I'm afraid there is no cure."
Scrubs
"Oh, man. I couldn't be happier."
Scrubs
"Excuse me?"
Scrubs
"And then I saw something click in Dr Cox."
Scrubs
"is always better than the one you don't."
Scrubs
"The Board meeting is about to start. It's just the three of you?"
Scrubs
"Mostly about the potential of mind control in modern medicine."
Scrubs
"This should go well."
Scrubs
"Well, Bob, your employees really stood by you."
Scrubs
"The one thing I wanted was to end things on my own terms,"
Scrubs
"I'm out of here."
Scrubs
"Since the geriatric wing was being remodelled,"
Scrubs
"the Board was forcing him to retire in a few weeks."
Scrubs
"We got to help him save his job."
Scrubs
"Oh, hey, Dr Cox. How are things?"
Scrubs
"My heart stopped for a second."
Scrubs
"I should be offended, but he's right."
Scrubs
"And no trying to talk."
Scrubs
"We do know a Board member."
Scrubs
"- About Kelso? - About anything."
Scrubs
"in support of Kelso, they'll cave."
Scrubs
"I'll explain later."
Scrubs
"I believe I coined that term."
Scrubs
"Look, I'm a simple unassuming janitor"
Scrubs
"Observe."
Scrubs
"Hello?"
Scrubs
"It ends up all on me."
Scrubs
"Afternoon, Mr Mandelbaum."
Scrubs
"Shouldn't we stop him?"
Scrubs
"The rest of us were so sleep deprived, we could barely manage to stay sane."
Scrubs
"Life's little cycles."
Scrubs
"Will you come to the Board meeting tonight to help Dr Kelso?"
Scrubs
"Here's the research you wanted."
Scrubs
"Hermione, have you seen Mr Macrae's urine test?"
Scrubs
"So, have you killed anyone yet?"
Scrubs
"It's a rite of passage for doctors."
Scrubs
"Turned out she was pregnant and didn't know it."
Scrubs
"I actually see the faces of all the patients I've lost."
Scrubs
"Who would you say is the leader of the support staff?"
Scrubs
"Well, the answer's no."
Scrubs
"That should be easy."
Scrubs
"and you had to stop Mrs Butler from wandering out of her room again..."
Scrubs
"JoJo and Spike."
Scrubs
"and they both suffocated."
Scrubs
"Is he dancing?"
Scrubs
"there's not much you can do to..."
Scrubs
"shush it."
Scrubs
"- Hell no! - Thank you, whomever."
Scrubs
"regardless of who hated me for it."
Scrubs
"And that was a lonely realisation, son."
Scrubs
"and teach him how to manage his disease."
Scrubs
"mostly of muffin bits, the souls of little babies and the denture grip"
Scrubs
"Now,"
Scrubs
"Deal."
Scrubs
"Sure, he likes to pretend that I win more than he does,"
Scrubs
"Then I googled "purple pee" and the Internet gave me the answer."
Scrubs
"You have Acute Intermittent Porphyria. Now, while that is manageable,"
Scrubs
"I'll probably say a few words as well."
Scrubs
"I'm taking this with me, damn it."
Scrubs
"Give me some sugar!"
Scrubs
"Explode!"
Scrubs
"And then we got a response we didn't expect."
Scrubs
"Because I'm not a jackass. I'm a good doctor."
Scrubs
"You're gonna pass out, aren't you? Oh, boy. There he goes."
Scrubs
"Why don't you have a seat, son?"
Scrubs
"And done. 23 stitches."
Scrubs
"Thanks, slick."
Scrubs
"Look at that. He got you anyway."
Scrubs
"By the way, what's your name, son?"
Scrubs
"I've always respected Kelso. He's got a tough job."
Scrubs
"He's out of here."
Scrubs
"I'm beautiful and I'm free! I'm free!"
Scrubs
"but what do you care?"
Scrubs
"that I'm not angry when people assume we're friends, so what the hell?"
Scrubs
"Look, Alex, I'm afraid I still don't know what's causing all of this,"
Scrubs
"If you're lucky, it'll be a patient who's on his way out anyway."
Scrubs
"Like how, more often than not, medical skill doesn't matter."
Scrubs
"Okay, I'm googling purple pee."
Scrubs
"that will really hurt my feelings."
Scrubs
"Did Barbie finally wax her tiny annoying moustache?"
Scrubs
"Enid's implants hadn't exploded yet"
Scrubs
"I thought it was appendicitis."
Scrubs
"Turk and I couldn't resist playing a little game called "poke the bear.""
Scrubs
"I was only able to diagnose your patient when I left his urine outside in the sun"
Scrubs
"Boon, sir."
Scrubs
"Well, you run a tight ship. And actually, we'd like you to stay on."
Scrubs
"it still shook me when the Board said I had to leave Sacred Heart."
Scrubs
"I mean, is there an MRI machine in my basement? Maybe."
Scrubs
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