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Clips from The Simpsons - 'Tis the Fifteenth Season (S15E15)

"Marge, TV and nightmares have joined forces to teach me a lesson."
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"In fact, I'll be the nicest man in town."
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"You've made that promise before."
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"Yes. But this time I'm sober-ish."
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"Good-looking group."
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"These pants smell worse than my old pants."
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"You're welcome."
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"Listen, Lenny. I know I was a pretty bad Secret Santa"
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"A photo cube with pictures of us!"
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"And I filed down all the sharp corners."
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"See? Your eye is completely safe!"
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"Oh, wow, it just stings a little."
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"Oops."
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"Marge, do you want this last pork chop?"
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"And tears are the sweetest sauce."
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"But I'm afraid you're a distant second this week."
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"I'm just buying that stairway to heaven Jesus sang of."
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"That was Led Zeppelin."
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"Maybe just a tad, Todd."
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"I'm jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses."
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"One problem at a time, boy."
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"Homie, I'm so proud."
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"You changed more than I could've imagined."
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"You're even covering your mouth when you burp."
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"Just like the pope."
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"(BURPS)"
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"Being unselfish is a natural high like hiking or paint thinner."
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"I built a skating rink for the whole town!"
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"(GROANS)"
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"Activate cloaking device!"
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"(SINGING) Here come sandwiches Here come sandwiches"
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"right down Boozy Bum Lane"
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"and a side order of shame. Bells..."
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"Where the H-E-C-K is everybody?"
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"Those are my feet."
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"Your position has been usurped."
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"Ha-ha!"
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"(CHANTING) You're sad at Christmas."
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"Or he might as well be"
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"Homer Simpson, seen here in this retouched photo!"
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"(GRUNTS IN ANGER)"
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"Excuse me. My car broke down."
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"I'll rotate your tires! I'll even fold up that map for you!"
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"Back off, creep!"
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"I was looking for Homer Simpson's house!"
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"Here you go, Principal Skinner, Mrs. Skinner."
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"You're actually giving everyone in town a Christmas present?"
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"What's your angle, pervert?"
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"Well, actually I picked up some extra cash"
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"ROD: Stay out of our medicine cabinet!"
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"Pathetic Flanders."
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"Cool! Mister Flanders gave me a Krusty brand Operation game."
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"(BUZZER SOUNDS)"
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"What's that one good American car?"
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"Dad, you don't have to outdo Mister Flanders."
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"Just remember the spirit of the season."
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"Is it despair?"
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"Actually, most people now feel Christmas has gotten too materialistic."
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"I believe people would be a lot happier without presents."
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"LISA: People would be a lot happier without presents."
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"(SIREN BLARING)"
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"I've got it! When everyone's asleep,"
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"I'll take away their presents!"
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"Then they'll be happy. Thanks, Buddha."
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"I got your badge number. You better hope I never get out!"
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"Now to hear the joyous sound of people waking up on Christmas"
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"to discover they have no presents."
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"LENNY: Hey, where's my presents?"
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"WOMAN: Some jerk stole Christmas!"
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"Someone snuck in and took our presents."
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"Do you think it was Papa?"
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"I wouldn't put it past him. He stole my gold tooth the night he left."
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"He didn't leave. He went to the store."
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"And when he comes back, I'll wave those Pop Tarts right in your face!"
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"shaking their fists in gratitude!"
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"Your behavior, it's like not sanctioned"
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"by any governing body. You're like wild."
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"Shouldn't you all be singing carols or something?"
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"(GROANING)"
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"but I've been thinking."
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"Maybe I was just as wrong to give you those gifts."
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"Up there!"
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"That's my last flare. Somebody better come soon."
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"Oh, thank goodness. Rescue dogs."
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""And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not,"
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"You can't pray on city property!"
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"Let's just say that on this day a million years ago,"
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"a dude was born who most of us think was magic."
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"But others don't. And that's cool."
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"But we're probably right. Amen."
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"And now I think the only thing left to do"
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"is return all your gifts!"
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"Oh, joy! Let's see what we got here. It's a new brassiere!"
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"What a great Christmas."
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"Not even Moe's annual suicide attempt can ruin it."
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"And then you'll all wish you was nicer to me!"
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"Who am I kidding? I ain't gonna jump."
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"(SINGING) Hark, the Herald Angels sing"
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"Glory to the new born King"
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"and singer Barbara Mandrell."
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"Hark the Herald Angels sing"
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"And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy,"
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"With the kids jingle-belling"
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""Be of good cheer""
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"Apparently working in Hawaii was a pleasure."
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"followed everywhere by that kiss-ass Smithers."
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"Excellent."
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"That your grandmother loves"
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"Stand back when you open it."
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"I cared what you thought once you found out!"
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"from an Earth holiday past."
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"so I wanted to make it up to you."
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"Oh, your thoughtfulness tastes so good."
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"Oh, very nice, Ned."
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"Oh, I'm so depressed. Engage candy bar."
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"Thank you."
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"because there's an even fatter man"
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"I'll show Flanders. I'm gonna give everyone a car."
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"Stop! Friends, what Homer did was wrong"
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