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Clips from Axe Cop - No More Bad Guys (S01E01)

"All right. See you in the morning."
Axe Cop
""over"?"
Axe Cop
""Baby Man.""
Axe Cop
"You're an avocado now?"
Axe Cop
"That's true, but you're missing the point."
Axe Cop
"I'm safe and I'm home early for game night."
Axe Cop
"When was the last time that happened?"
Axe Cop
"- (beeping) - AXE COP: Come in, Avocado Soldier."
Axe Cop
"(groans) What? What do you want, Axe Cop?"
Axe Cop
"There is one more bad guy on the list."
Axe Cop
"We all know that Baby Man's a good guy."
Axe Cop
"Not anymore, he's not."
Axe Cop
"Why don't you go home and catch some zs?"
Axe Cop
"- Hey, Axe Cop. - Baby Man."
Axe Cop
"No. I don't play or go on dates with babies."
Axe Cop
"You know, I really wish you would."
Axe Cop
"that only a man with the power of babies could provide."
Axe Cop
"- Do you understand what I'm saying? - (muffled) I'll chop your head off!"
Axe Cop
"You see, ever since I was a baby Baby Man,"
Axe Cop
"I wanted to be on your team."
Axe Cop
"and I practiced all your cool moves."
Axe Cop
"For my first birthday, I even asked for an axe rattle."
Axe Cop
"So you can imagine my excitement"
Axe Cop
"just to show you my moves."
Axe Cop
"But you didn't care."
Axe Cop
"You didn't even let me try out."
Axe Cop
"I'm going to make you watch me."
Axe Cop
"It's my personal favorite."
Axe Cop
"♪ why I love you. ♪"
Axe Cop
"I wish for..."
Axe Cop
"To death."
Axe Cop
"Pick seven."
Axe Cop
"Avocado Soldier, are you even paying attention?"
Axe Cop
"(sighs) I'm sorry."
Axe Cop
"I just can't help but think Axe Cop is in trouble."
Axe Cop
"I thought so too."
Axe Cop
"But he said this thing about Baby Man turning bad."
Axe Cop
"You know what?"
Axe Cop
"I'm just gonna swing by Baby Man's Baby Cave,"
Axe Cop
"see if everything's okay."
Axe Cop
"can I be on your team? (deep voice) No, you can't."
Axe Cop
"'cause I'm such a big mean stinky poopy pants."
Axe Cop
"(normal voice) Oh, that's okay."
Axe Cop
"'cause I'm gonna kill you anyway."
Axe Cop
"(growls)"
Axe Cop
"Oh my God. I'm too late. Axe Cop's dead."
Axe Cop
"I let Baby Man kill me"
Axe Cop
"so I could come back as a ghost and untie myself."
Axe Cop
"I just tied you up and killed you."
Axe Cop
"That's my "Let Yourself Die And Turn Into A Ghost" Secret Attack!"
Axe Cop
"- (grunts) - Axe Cop, wait."
Axe Cop
"(groans) Well, I guess I can't kill you."
Axe Cop
"I wish for Baby Man to not be dumb anymore."
Axe Cop
"The power of evil is nothing"
Axe Cop
"- Now, can I be on the team? - Oh, I wish."
Axe Cop
"There's no more bad guys for us to fight."
Axe Cop
"- Now that you're a good guy. - What about aliens?"
Axe Cop
"Did you... kill all the aliens too?"
Axe Cop
"Are all aliens good or bad?"
Axe Cop
"I don't know. I think some are good and some are bad,"
Axe Cop
"- just like people. - (Groans)"
Axe Cop
"with robo-gun fists and a red bow tie!"
Axe Cop
"No no no! Oh! What?! I wanted to be normal."
Axe Cop
"But I wanted you to be better."
Axe Cop
"Guess what? My friends are all showing up in just a minute"
Axe Cop
"and we're gonna see how many grown-ups"
Axe Cop
"(groans) Babies are dumb."
Axe Cop
"Plus, she can be super helpful around the office."
Axe Cop
"I wish for my cold coffee to be hot coffee."
Axe Cop
"Really? When did this happen?"
Axe Cop
"Perfect."
Axe Cop
"That was the day he became"
Axe Cop
"What kind of swords are those?"
Axe Cop
"(grunts)"
Axe Cop
"(imitates whistle blowing)"
Axe Cop
"Honey, it's 5:30, and look who's walking through the door."
Axe Cop
"We're going on a night mission to kill him."
Axe Cop
"Don't forget, you've got the opening shift at the fruit stand tomorrow."
Axe Cop
"Let's have a little play date. Back at my... Baby Man cave."
Axe Cop
"This was gonna be my baby headquarters."
Axe Cop
"But now,"
Axe Cop
"♪ Why I ♪ ♪ Why I love you ♪"
Axe Cop
"But I thought you killed all the bad guys on the bad guy list."
Axe Cop
"Hey Axe Cop,"
Axe Cop
"There's a huge grey area."
Axe Cop
"- Now we're talking. - Let's go."
Axe Cop
"Hey everybody, look at me. I'm riding a train."
Axe Cop
"Mmm. Hot coffee."
Axe Cop
"No time, Dinosaur Soldier."
Axe Cop
"Shake what your baby gave you."
Axe Cop
"I've got dibs all night, dude."
Axe Cop
"That must mean her adult horn is coming in, huh?"
Axe Cop
"No. (crying)"
Axe Cop
"Axe Cop, you can look at that list all night long,"
Axe Cop
"(growls)"
Axe Cop
"Uno! Ha!"
Axe Cop
"BOY: One day, at the scene of the fire"
Axe Cop
"can fit on this thing at once."
Axe Cop
"♪"
Axe Cop
"Aw, are you kidding me? I'm a dinosaur now?"
Axe Cop
"Move!"
Axe Cop
"AXE COP: I will chop your heads off!"
Axe Cop
"(muffled) No."
Axe Cop
"Can't you see? Deep down, Baby Man's not a bad guy."
Axe Cop
"Can you wish for me to be Flute Cop again?"
Axe Cop
"a rattlesnake."
Axe Cop
"Then I wish for all aliens to be bad so we can kill them."
Axe Cop
"Whoa, hold the phone."
Axe Cop
"AXE COP: Dino-swords."
Axe Cop
"Yes. Yes, it is."
Axe Cop
"(shouts)"
Axe Cop
"Look, you're a father now."
Axe Cop
"Gorillas are awesome."
Axe Cop
"Full grown man in a baby suit. (scoffs)"
Axe Cop
"Three, four, five dollars."
Axe Cop
"I watched all your awesome fights"
Axe Cop
"Sure, I wish for Avocado Soldier to be a gorilla"
Axe Cop
"Here's your cut, Axe Cop."
Axe Cop